Resistance
by Phoenixian
Summary: Chaos and darkness. A honeymoon ended in blood, an old friend turned enemy and a prophecy that will shape every life it touches.
1. Hangover

I JUST GOT THIS IDEA INTO MY HEAD SO I HAD TO WRITE IT DOWN

"GOOD MORNING, happy wedding day!"

James felt the bed sink at least a foot as a large body came flying through the air and landed beside him. The springs creaked and he thought he heard a distinct cracking sound at the head of the bed. He had very little time to contemplate this however as the blankets were yanked back unceremoniously and he found his face being ground into the pillow as Sirius mussed his hair enthusiastically.

"Rise and shine Jamesy pie cause your getting married!"

"Geroff me!"

James pushed up with his hands and Sirius fell off the bed,landing on the floor with a loud thump and a moment later James sunk his face back into his pillow with a groan. His brain seemed to be trying to disconnect itself from his head.

Somewhere nearby a door opened and Moony and Wormtail's voices added to the migraine that he was experiencing.

"Come on mate, up you get!"

Apparently none of the others had had quite as much to drink the night before. He groaned again.

"I think that he's coming to understand the consequences of drinking an entire barrel of firewhiskey in one go." Remus' voice said from near his feet, clearly amused. He kicked out one leg, missed, and let it fall back onto the mattress.

"Levicorpus"

James heard it a moment before he found himself hanging upside down in thin air by his ankle, feeling over exposed in front of his friends with only a pair of boxers on.

"Sorry Prongs" Sirius said cheerfully, reaching up and smacking his friend on the side of the head. "Couldn't let you sleep in or nothing, don't forget that your about to marry Lily Evans, the love of your life, wouldn't have thought that a little thing like a hangover would stop you, and as best man it is my duty to get you up and ready or else fill in for you." He turned away and James fell back onto the bed with a crash.

"What do you think our kids will look like?" Sirius was asking Moony and Wormtail, who was doubled up laughing.

James leaped up and threw himself onto Sirius' back and they fell to the floor in a heap, laughing so hard they could hardly catch their breath. Finally they allowed their friends to pull them to their feet and James managed to drag a t-shirt over his head. As the collar came down over his eyes he looked around at his friends who were all grinning wildly at him and it dawned on him for the first time just how amazing this day would be.

He grinned back at them all, unable to voice the excitement and glorious happiness he was feeling.

"Merlin's beard, James Potter, you'll knock the whole house down, what on earth are you and your friends doing up there?"

"Nothing Mom, sorry about that!" he called back, cuffing Sirius on the back of the head as he followed him from the room. As he closed his bedroom door behind him the delicious smells of his mother's cooking wafted up the stairs to meet them. He fished a pair of clean slacks from the laundry room in passing and the four of them descended into the kitchen which was bustling with activity. Knives chopped fruits and vegetables that were being cleaned in the kitchen sink by a scrub brush. Soups and salads were being stirred by large wooden spoons and tureens of punch and whiskey sat waiting on the headboard. Napkins were folding themselves around knives, forks and spoons at one end of the table but James saw none of this as his eyes were on the glorious wedding cake at the other end upon which a tiny sugar replica of himself was kissing a tiny sugar Lily quite passionately in a way that the real James would never do in front of his mother who luckily seemed too busy to notice as she was leaning over the open oven. Just past her James could see what he was sure must be the largest turkey in the entire world.

His mother straightened up with a flourish and turned on them, looking rather frazzled, with her hair falling out of it's bun and flour and chocolate covering her blouse and face.

"Out, out!" she ordered, shooing them towards the door. "Everyone will be arriving in a few hours and what i don't need is you lot getting underfoot in here so make yourselves scarce until it's time to get ready." And then she turned away and hurried from the kitchen muttering under her breath. James grabbed a roll as he made to leave and he thought he saw the tiny sugar Lily on the cake wink at him as he followed Wormtail out the door and into the garden.

I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT BUT I HOPED YOU LIKED IT. PLEASE REVIEW PEOPLE!!!! MORE COMING SOON AND THE MORE REVIEWS I GET THE FASTER I WRITE!!!


	2. What sister?

"Lily, wake up won't you?"

Mary's voice pulled her up from a dream in which she had been on a glorious honeymoon in Europe with James with nothing to worry about and no one to bother them. No Lord Voldemort, no marauders, no death eaters... She felt the familiar pang of guilt that she experienced whenever she thought of Severus but it faded much more quickly this time. He had shown long ago where his loyalties lay and what he thought of mudbloods like her.

She sat up in bed, pulling her long red hair over one shoulder. She was about to become a Potter. The thought made her nervous but she pushed aside the feeling that she had eaten one to many chocolate frogs and grinned at Mary who was hovering uncertainly in the doorway. As their eyes met, her friend flung herself across the room and threw her arms around Lily's neck. When she pulled away tears filled her blue eyes and she began chattering in a flustered way.

"Are you excited? Are you nervous? I can't believe that you're marrying James Potter."

Lily was experiencing that same sense of disbelief but she was hardly about to acknowledge it. If someone had told her only three years ago that she would end up in love with James Potter, marrying him she would have laughed herself silly. She had hated him for so long, he had been a conceited little toe rag.

"Were leaving in two hours Lily, get your things together and come down for breakfast!"

Her mother's voice sent a wave of nostalgia crashing over her but she jumped up with a big smile on her face, listening to Mary's incessant chattering as she pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top and followed her friend downstairs into the kitchen. She was starving.

Her mother hugged her as she entered and her father stood up to kiss her on the forhead but it wasn't quite the reception that she had expected. The atmosphere in the room was extremely tense in the room as she pulled away from her father and she looked around to see her older sister leaning against the counter in a sun dress with her hair pilled on top of her head.

Lily had once heard Remus say that a man in the park had looked like a muggle. She had never really understood what someone could mean when they said this, as no two wizards appeared the same and Lily herself couldn't pick a wizard out of a crowd of muggles if her life depended on it but at that moment she realized just what he had meant. She had never in her entire life seen anyone who looked more like a muggle than her sister did at that moment.

She smiled at the older girl who nodded in reply with a look on her face that at one time Lily had never been subjected too as the spoiled little sister but that she was now overly familiar with.

"Hows Vernon?" she asked politely as her mother put plates of fruit and waffles down on the table in front of her and Mary. Lily noticed that the look that Petunia was giving Mary was far worse even than that that she gave her sister. Mary however didn't seem to notice as she dug a spoon into a bowl of raspberries.

"Fine."

"And the new house?"

"Lovely, thank you."

Her sister's tone was clipped and annoyed and Lily wondered what she was doing here at all. She doubted very much that her sister had changed her mind about coming to the wedding, after all it would be swarming with freaks and monsters. Petunia had been horrified when she had overheard Lily talking about Remus and when one of the marauders visits had coincided with her own she had ended up storming from the house when he had merely said hello. But that had been so long ago.

"Petunia just dropped in for a few minutes. Vernon had a meeting in town so she decided to come by for a visit."

Her father confirmed what she had been thinking.

"I'm sorry to have interrupted the wedding preparations, I forgot that it was today" Petunia said stiffly and Lily knew that if she had remembered she would certainly not have dropped in for a visit.

"Oh, your not interrupting anything. All the preparations are taking place at the Potter's and we aren't leaving for hours."

Lily noticed that her mother's voice was much louder than usual and Petunia looked as if she sincerely wished that they were leaving much sooner so that she could get out of there. Lily found that she was not hungry anymore but she forced down some fruit so as not to give her mother reason to fuss and hastened from the room with Mary on her heels.

"Of all the days that that evil cow of a sister of yours could come by-"

"Mary!"

"I'm sorry Lily, I know how bad you feel about it all, but she's ruining your wedding day."

Lily sighed, she knew that her friend was right. The feeling of elation that she had been feeling before she had seen Petunia was gone, like popping a balloon with a pin. And it certainly wasn't her fault that her sister hated everything about her so much. She closed her bedroom door rather harder than might have normally and willed the anger and annoyance to evaporate. She was getting married. She brought up James' face in her mind's eye and did her best not to think about her sister.

Remembering the dream that she had been having that morning she began to sort through the things that she would need to bring to the Potter's for the wedding, clothes that she had brought from the flat she shared with James and Remus and gifts that she had received from family members who had been told that the wedding was to be a small affair with only parents and a few friends. Indeed, Lily didn't want to even think about how many people would be there which was why most of her muggle family couldn't come, it would be nearly impossible to hide any magic when there would be wizards all over the place getting drunk and letting down their guard, not to mention the magical factors that made up every wizard wedding. There would be dozens of Potter relatives and all their friends from around the world and James and Lily's friends from school. It brought the frogs back into her stomach when she thought about how many people would be staring at her as she walked down the aisle.

She was more than ready to get going twenty minutes later, already packed and dressed. Her wedding gown topped the pile of things that she would be taking to the Potter's and she couldn't help but run her hands over it over and over in a nervous way until Mary dragged her away and sat her down in her old bedroom but she was not in the mood to talk and they sat looking down at the muggle suburb outside her bedroom window.

"Wait here for minute" Lily told her friend as Petunia came into view, walked down the porch steps and out to the front sidewalk. Vernon was obviously on his way to get her and Lily knew that she might only have minutes.

She raced down the stairs, past her father in the kitchen where he sat drinking coffee, past her mother in the front landing, holding her own dress in a long clothing bag and out the door, coming to a stop out of breath a few feet from her sister who stared at her in horror.

"Please come to the wedding Petunia." Her voice sounded whiny and childish even to her but she hardly cared. "My wedding" she added unnecessarily.

Petunia pursed her lips and shook her head, turning her head away, looking down the street for her husbands car. Lily reached out and grabbed her arm.

"When we were little we dreamed about our weddings. Do you remember?"

Another shake of her sister's blond head.

"We were going to be each other's wedding planner's and maids of honor."

She sounded pathetic and Petunia threw her a look that confirmed it.

"We were children, things change." Obviously. A dark car turned the corner and Lily could just make out her brother in law's beafy face.

"Some things don't change, you're still my sister tunie." She used the childhood nickname as a last resort but the horror on Petunia's face only grew with the mention of it.

"Ha. Ever since you met that horrible boy... your a freak Lily, it's too late now. It's done, your not the same... your not my sister anymore."

Petunia yanked her arm out of her sister's hand and glared at her. The car pulled up to the curb and Petunia reached for the handle. Lily offered Vernon a small smile but he just stared back at her, stony faced. She watched as the car pulled away. She didn't have a sister anymore.

"Are you okay, what did she say?" Mary asked a minute later as she sat back down next to the window. Lily smiled.

"I'm fine" she said. "I'm getting married today."

I WILL SAY IT AGAIN AND AGAIN UNTIL IT HAPPENS, REVIEW PEOPLE, IT'S NOT DIFFICULT, I AM SO CLOSE TO BEGGING.


	3. Anticipation

YOU MIGHT NOTICE THAT LILY'S FRIEND MARY IS NOT OF MY OWN CREATION BUT LIKE ALL OTHER HARRY POTTER THINGS AND CHARACTERS, SHE BELONGS TO J.K ROWLING. IF YOU HAVE READ THE BOOKS AS MANY TIMES AS I HAVE YOU MIGHT REMEMBER MARY IN SNAPE'S MEMORIES IN THE 7TH BOOK. ONCE WHEN LILY TELLS SNAPE THAT HIS FRIENDS WERE HEXING MARY MACDONALD AND AGAIN WHEN SHE SAYS THAT MARY TOLD HER THAT SNAPE WAS PLANNING ON SLEEPING IN THE HALLWAY IF SHE WOULDN'T TALK TO HIM. I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S THE SAME PERSON BUT I THINK IT IS. IN THIS STORY JAMES' DAS IS ALREADY DEAD BECAUSE IT WOULD SEEM KIND OF SUSPICIOUS IF ALL FOUR OF HARRY'S GRANDPARENTS DIED BETWEEN THEIR WEDDING AND THEIR DEATHS WHEN THEY SUPPOSEDLY WERE NOT MURDERED. AND J.K NEVER SAYS THEIR NAMES. AND NOW I'M RAMBLING. ENJOY THIS NEXT CHAPTER AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.

The garden seemed to have transformed since James had last seen it. Bright, extravagant flowers and growths seemed to have popped out all over the place. There wasn't a gnome to be seen and the overgrown walkway through the yard had become a stone stepping path with a covered archway all the way along it from the back door to the white marquee that stood over most of the expansive back lawn and what seemed like several hundred little chairs that matched the whole color scheme of the wedding. They were white. He decided that he would have to talk to his mother about that. A number of what could only be fairies and wood nymphs had taken up residence in the newly grown rose bushes against the back fence and he watched as a fairy flitted around the yard until it noticed and offered him a rude hand gesture.

James gulped. He didn't know that he was quite ready for this.

"Close your mouth Prongs, before Padfoot hexes you" Moony suggested mildly. It took him a minute to remember that his friends were there. They too were staring around the yard looking slightly dazed and really quite impressed which only made him more nervous. He ran a hand through his hair.

"How about some quidditch out front then?"

Sirius was grinning at him again.

"Oh, all right."

He followed his friends to the broom shed to collect the dusty old broom's upon which he had learned to fly. He regretted leaving his own at the flat in London and he considered popping out to get it but there was no point. He doubted that they had long before his mother called them in to get ready or to help out with preparations.

He wondered when Lily and her parents were coming and how they would arrive. If Lily had been on her own she would of course have apparated, but with her parents in tow he didn't envy her the longer trip.

"Would you pay attention Prongs, get your head in the game, that was Wormtail you just let past you. No offence Wormtail but honestly." James grinned at Padfoot. If his friend wanted to play then so be it.

The game was about as evenly matched as it could get with James and Remus against Sirius and Peter. Playing without bludgers or a snitch hardly seemed like a quidditch game to James but they would be hard pressed to come up with a plausible excuse if any of the balls escaped and went zooming across the countryside, especially as a bludger would attempt to take out the first person that it came to. And so they were left to throwing a quaffle back and forth, zooming as fast as they could across the yard on brooms that hadn't been used in years, so old that the make had been discontinued, creating excitement by attempting to knock each other out of the air. They spent a good hour scoring on each other through hoops that they had enchanted to hover several meters up in the air and by the time James heard his mother's voice calling for the lot of them to get inside he and Moony were fifty points up and laughing. Wormtail had collided with a tree in a failed attempt to catch the quaffle that Sirius had tossed to him and he returned to earth looking rather shaken and red with embarassment.

James retrieved the quaffle from a bush and followed his friends back to the broom shed and then into the house.

"I think you lot had better get yourselves tidied up before people start arriving. Wipe that dirt of your face Peter. And you James, do you think you could try to flatten that hair of yours?" she demanded, reaching out to fuss with it but James ducked under her arm and out of reach.

She let out a hhmph as she eyed Remus but not seeming to find anything wrong with him she turned to Sirius who had the bad luck to have chosen that moment to reach out and steal a pasty from a large tray.

"Sirius Black!" she cried, whipping out her wand. "I've spent hours preparing those and you decide to come into my kitchen and stick your grubby hands in my best work. OUT! OUT! OUT!"

And with that a dozen wooden spoons came flying across the kitchen from every which way and began to hit Sirius round the head. He threw his arms over up and ran from the room with the spoons in hot pursuit. James, Remus and Peter were bursting with laughter until she rounded on them in turn. Her cries of "Out, Out!!" followed them up the stairs and along the passageway where they found Padfoot huddled in a closet muttering mutenously to himself.

"It's alright" James offered encouragingly. "The nasty spoons have all gone away and the little puppy is safe once more."

He avoided Sirius' attempts to cuff him around the head, stepping out of his friends reach so he could check out his hair in the mirror over the bathroom sink.

He attempted to flatten the back of it with one palm and pressed the other down on his fringe.

"I don't know how many times I've said it." The old mirror told him irritably. "First it was your father and now it's you. You just don't flatten that Potter hair, it's impossible."

"Gee, thanks a lot" he replied. "It's my wedding day, I'm supposed to look decent."

"HA! Good luck with that one boy". And the mirror refused to comment anymore on the subject, but to James' annoyance it complemented both Sirius and Remus on their nice, tidy hair and told Peter that he was cute as a button, causing Sirius to tease him incessantly when he blushed scarlet.

"If you've all got nothing better to do then you can get down here and give us a hand, can't you?"

"Make up your mind woman" Sirius muttered under his breath so that only James could hear as they paraded back down the stairs into the kitchen.

"If only your father were here, may he rest in peace" she told her son with a shake of her head. "I could get him to help me if I needed it."

"Ya well, if you twist hard enough you're bound to see results, aren't you?" Sirius said quietly. James coughed and spluttered, winning a glare from his mother before she turned away.

"What does that even mean?" James whispered back but Sirius only grinned knowingly in reply.

Glancing into the living room, James took in several rags polishing the picture frames and a broom flying over the floor with a mop following in it's wake.

"Where's the house elf?" he asked, casually ducking as a bag of potatoes flew from the pantry, through the air where his head had been a second before and over to the counter where the bag up-ended itself and the potatoes poured into the sink.

"Oh, I'm afraid Azul isn't up to much nowadays, I don't think that she'll be with us for much longer and as it's only me most of the time I can manage on my own. She does her best but at a time like this I wouldn't want to stress her, poor dear."

"She looked fine at three in the morning when she was washing the stairs. Poor thing. You won't even let her clean when she wants to."

"She wasn't."

"Suit yourself." James grinned at the look on his mother's face.

"Never mind your help then, I'll just wait until Mrs. Evans gets here, I've been dying to have a chat with her anyway."

"Fine by us."

James was first out the door this time, ignoring the elegant decorations around the garden, which seemed to have multiplied since the quidditch game, crossed the yard, hopped the fence and set off up the hill overlooking Godric's Hollow. The others did their best to keep up as he strode swiftly over the bumpy ground until they finally came to the soft stretch of grass that James had used in his youth to observe the comings and goings of the villagers. He could see everything on that spot from the small church in the town square to the dirt road leading out of town against which his parent's house was nestled comfortably and the forest beyond it.

Sirius had been at his heels all along, closely followed by Remus, and Peter brought up the rear, out of breath, clutching a stitch in his side. James dropped down onto his stomach and his friends followed suit. With the sun on their faces they waited silently for quite some time, keeping on eye on the village and on the house. After a while they could just make out people striding out of the woods on the other side of the house in small groups, having just apparated and a few even appearing as if out of thin air on the road leading to the house and in the front garden. They were all dressed in extravagant robes of different colors and James saw one of his uncles in a neon set that seemed to be changing colors so rapidly that it gave him a headache to watch it. Peter pointed out his mother as she appeared at the gate and Remus' father coming out of the forest. They watched as more and more witches and wizards made their way towards the house and James felt the familiar gut wrenching nervousness at the thought of standing up in front of all them all.

"It's twelve noon, what are you doin'?" a squeaky voice that bore an uncanny resemblance to that of old professor Flitwick announced from Peter's wrist watch.

"Do you think that we had better be going back down to the house?" Remus asked. "Your mothers probably searching for you with those wooden spoons close at hand."

James grimaced at the thought.

"Ya, well I'm nineteen,not nine, she can wait a little longer can't she?" Remus shrugged and they all went back to watching the guests appearing.

"Hey, there's Dumbledore and McGonagall" Sirius pointed out. James looked back around. Dumbledore and McGonagall were making their way along the dirt road with old Bathilda Bagshot, Moody and the Longbottoms close behind them.

"Reckon the whole orders here by now?" Sirius asked. "Never seen the lot of them, all together like this in one place. And all for you Prongs, I'm surprised that so many people even like you."

James ignored his friend. A loud bang had averted his attention to a triple decker, violently purple bus that had just appeared out of thin air. It tore up the road, swerved around Dumbledore and the others, missing them by inches and came to a screeching halt in front of his parents house.

"Alright then. Reckon we should go down now?" he asked his friends but he had already jumped to his feet and set off back down the hill before they had much of a chance to answer. He heard them scrambling to catch up as he hopped up onto a fallen tree, vaulted over a small crater and blasted a large boulder out of the way with his wand.

"Cause he hasn't seen her in a whole twenty four hours" he heard Sirius grumbling good naturedly behind him.

"And he isn't about to marry her and see her every day until their old and wrinkly and blind and everything" Peter added.

"I can hear you" James called over his shoulder.

"Good to know mate, but not really relevant."

Frustrated with a large tree that was inconveniently blocking his path, James turned on the spot, felt the familiar pressing feeling from all sides and appeared a moment later across the street from his house where a crowd of his friends and relatives had surrounded the Evans' and their luggage. His mother was speaking animatedly with Lily's while Mr. Evans was busy examining his uncles color changing robes. James shook his head. Muggles were very strange people.

Lily's red hair shone brightly in the sun making James smile. He was about to marry her.

"Hey Potter."

James turned and found Moody standing close by, his magical eye spinning round and round in his head, keeping an eye on things and making James dizzy. He reached out and clapped James on the back.

"Congratulations boy, didn't know you had it in you."

"Err, thanks" James replied, unsure as to whether he was being insulted by the auror or not. Moody grinned.

"I see you've even got Hagrid out of his hut."

James looked around and saw the massive figure rounding a bend in the road and coming into view. He waved and the half-giant lifted a garbage lid sized hand and waved back.

"This is going to be some party."

James turned.

" Hey Dumbledore, how've you been?"

"Better than some I'm afraid" Dumbledore replied as they shook hands.

A loud crack sounded behind them,announcing Padfoot's arrival.

"There you are... hold up a tic, is that Mary Macdonald that just arrived with Lily? Is she maid of honor or whatever?"

Sirius flattened his hair excitedly.

James glanced at Dumbledore who was wearing a look of amusement on his face, his eyes twinkling merrily.

Clapping his friend on the back he gave him a hearty shove.

"It's your lucky day mate."

SO I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO END THIS CHAPTER BUT THERE IT IS. PLZ R&R. HOPE YOU LIKE IT, WASN'T SURE WHAT ALL TO PUT SO I MADE IT UP AS I WENT ALONG. ALSO HAVE LUPIN'S DAD SHOW UP IN THIS ONE BUT YOU NEVER ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS PARENTS. ODDLY WE FIND OUT MORE ABOUT SIRIUS AND WORMTAIL'S PARENTS THAN WE DO ABOUT JAMES', LILY'S OR LUPIN'S. AFTER I READ THIS I REALIZED THAT THE POTTER'S PLACE SEEMED VERY SIMILAR TO THE WEASLEY'S, THOUGH IN BETTER SHAPE BUT I FIGURED THAT IT WOULD PROBABLY BE PRETTY COMMON FOR WIZARDING FAMILIES TO LIVE OUTSIDE OF TOWN ON FARMS AND STUFF. I SEEM TO BE GOING ON ABOUT A LOT OF STUFF TODAY. I'LL SHUT UP NOW. SEE YOU ALL SOON!


	4. Face to Face

Lily felt James' gaze upon her and turned away from Mary, scanning the crowd in search of him. A moment later her eyes found him over her friend's shoulder where he stood a little ways apart from the others with Dumbledore and Sirius. They were all smiling and she saw James give his friend a light shove before he looked up and their eyes met.

She felt as if she hadn't seen him in days though it had barely been one and she wished that they could be alone, away from the prying eyes and expectations of their families and friends.

Lily made to cross the space between them but a moment later a giant shadow fell over her and her path was blocked by a large, familiar figure.

Hagrid had already pulled out one of his tablecloth sized handkerchiefs and was blowing his nose loudly into it. He was dressed in a horrible hairy suit and if she hadn't seen Hagrid before, what with the suit and the huge, shaggy beard she might have mistaken him for some cross between a giant and a bear. As it was, Lily could see that several people were throwing him frightened looks and cutting wide paths around him. Those who knew him were merely careful not to get bowled over. Professor McGonagall was standing behind him with a disapproving look on her face as she talked with an old man that Lily didn't recognize. She gave Lily a curt nod and a small smile when their eyes met before turning back to her conversation.

"Hello Hagrid, Is everything alright?" Lily asked slightly confused about any reasons that he would have to get emotional so long before the ceremony was even due to start.

She felt the urge to duck and run for cover as one of his large hands came down upon her but she didn't want to hurt his feelings and endured the friendly pat on the head with gritted teeth. When he pulled his hand back she couldn't help but wonder if she had gotten shorter.

"Jus' look at the two of ya' " he blubbered. "Getting married an' all. No matter what horrible things are going on in the world there'll always be love."

Lily grimaced. She reached out and patted his arm, as she couldn't reach any higher than that though she wasn't even sure that he could feel her touch through the hairy mass that was made up to look like a suit.

"Thanks Hagrid" she replied. She took a step to the left, peering around Hagrid's bulk but James was nowhere to be seen. Sirius had started up a conversation with Mary and Dumbledore was conversing quietly with Mad Eye Moody a short distance away. He didn't look happy and she hoped that whatever had happened would not be so horrible that it would ruin the day. Moody's eye spun out of sight as she watched and she had the feeling that it was looking at her. James was still nowhere to be seen and she guessed that he had been swallowed up by well wishers. She offered Moody a quick wave in the case that he was looking at her and turned away.

"Alright there, Lily?"

Turning on the spot she hugged her friend tightly. Remus looked slightly surprised as she pulled away, as she had never done anything quite like it before but she was feeling particularly light and airy and she didn't care. Peter hovered behind him and she couldn't help but notice that there were grass stains on the knees of his trousers and he had a large dirt mark on his nose, as if he had fallen on his face. Remus was also dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt, and she couldn't remember seeing him looking so well in some time.

"How are you feeling?" he asked pleasantly. He smiled and she noticed that she seemed to be bouncing up and down a little. She couldn't seem to stay sill.

"Fine" she gave the automatic reply she had been using all morning on everyone from her parents to James' most distant cousin but Remus was different, her answer was not one that you offered a friend, causing him to raise an eyebrow quizzically. "Excited" she added, grinning back in spite of herself. "Really excited. But how are you Remus?" she asked meaningful and he knew of course that she was not just exchanging pleasantries.

"It's been a good month" he told her with a look that was somewhere between a smug smile and plain relief.

"Oh good, and your work for the Order? You've been really busy lately." she asked, leaning in closely.

"Everything is fine Lily, you shouldn't worry about it today. Really."

"Lily darling?"

She turned to find her mother standing behind her looking rather awkward. She had met very few of the assembled people and as such it was more difficult for her to have extended conversations with them than it was for her husband, who seemed to be fascinated with every aspect of the wizarding world and could never seem to get enough of it or the people in it.

"Good morning, Mrs. Evans." Remus offered his hand politely to her mother who seemed not to have seen him there. She reached out her own and shook it.

"Remus. Peter."

Lily wondered if she was imagining that she saw her mother's hand shaking slightly throughout the exchange and a look of concern and determination cross her usually pleasant face. Had Petunia shared what she had heard about him with their mother? If Remus had noticed anything he didn't acknowledge it or perhaps he was just used to it. A moment later someone else had called for her mother's attention and she turned away, looking rather relieved. Lily sighed. Remus continued to look pleasantly impassive.

"Lils!!"

She felt arms around her waist and a moment later she was being lifted into the air and swung in a circle.

"Sirius, put me down." The arms around her waist disappeared and she fell to the ground. She jumped up with a growl. Remus was shaking his head, Peter was laughing and Sirius had a sloppy grin plastered across his face.

"So? Mary shoot you down then?" she asked innocently. His smile was replaced instantly with a scowl.

"She has a boyfriend." He scuffed one shoe in the dirt and Lily was reminded of a little boy caught doing something naughty. Sirius had probably perfected the look at a very young age.

"Wheres James'?" she asked. Where Sirius and the other marauders were, James was usually not far off.

" Oh right, he sent me to get you lot. I am his best man and I do his bidding and yours m'lady." Sirius bent low in an exaggerated bow, then straightened up, his eyes sparkling. Any disappointment about Mary would be forgotten until the next time that he was turned down.

" I think he was getting sick of all the attention. Mind you, he's going to have a lot more of that to deal with seeing as it's his big day and everything."

"Now then, if you please miss, right this way."

He offered an arm that he wound through hers and led the way through the crowd of people, across the yard and through a gap in the hedge that led into the backyard. Sirius waved one hand regally in a sweeping gesture and Lily gasped with amazement.

The yard had been transformed. Rose bushes and flowers overflowed in the gardens, covered in twinkling lights with fairies flitting among them. A great white tent was set up over a dance floor that was currently covered in row upon row of delicate white chairs with an elegant walk way leading down the middle from the back door of the house. Streamers and lanterns hung from every tree and pole. Everything looked just right. Her previous distaste over having such a grand, elegant wedding evaporated. It was perfect. Not that it mattered what their wedding looked like anyway.

A movement out of the corner of her eye caught Lily's attention. Looking around she saw a handsome boy with messy dark hair, glasses and hazel eyes. Like his friends he was dressed in regular muggle clothing with a blue button up shirt and jeans. He was watching her with an uncomfortable look of insecurity on his face.

"I know you just wanted to elope or something. But my mom you know...there was nothing I could do... He ran a hand through his already windswept hair looking thoroughly concerned, the other hand clutching his wand tightly. Maybe he thought that she didn't like it or that she would have changed her mind upon seeing it everything.

Grinning stupidly, Lily ran and threw her arms around James' neck. She could hear him chuckling softly as he pressed his face into her hair, hugging her back with one arm. A moment later Sirius' barking laughter was cut off with a squeak and his other arm was around her too.

HOPE YOU LIKED IT. MORE COMING SOON!!!


	5. Barefoot bride

"Do you think that there's a spell or something I could try?"

James knew that he was fussing over his hair too much, but he was trying his best to forget the nervous feeling that was building inside of him. The looks that his friends exchanged told him that they too thought he was acting strange.

"You know what? I think Lily has seen your hair already and for some reason she's still marrying you, isn't she?"

Padfoot and Wormtail were spread across the floor, playing a game of exploding snap. Luckily they hadn't yet changed into their dress robes as Sirius had already set his shirt on fire with their first deck. They were keenly avoiding a similar incident that might involve hair or eyebrows, thinking that it might ruin the wedding photos. Moony was sitting on the bed with a book open in his lap, deeply focused and determinedly ignoring his friends.

"And I don't reckon that you should try anything on it. You'll end up turning it blue or something, and that'll be tough to explain though it might be an improvement."

James stepped heavily on his friends foot in retaliation and and crossed the room. Pulling back the curtain he glanced down into the yard below. He had been checking periodically since his mother had sent them all upstairs to get ready. The chairs beneath the white tent were filling up quickly. Lily's parents sat in the front row, still surrounded by friends and family. Mr. Evans was examining a short dark wand and his wife was leaning away from him apprehensively as the point swiveled in her direction. A band was setting up their instruments on a tiny stage to the side of the party. His own mother was deep in discussion with Dorcas Meadows and Elphias Doge. Many of the other members of the Order were huddled in small groups around the yard and Sirius' cousin Andromeda Tonks was watching her young daughter fondly as the little girl entertained the other children with her magical morphing abilities. He watched as her hair grew out in spirals around her head and changed from it's usual mousy brown color to a violent rose. James wished that he was a metamorphmagus, then he would have been able to do something with his own hair.

He waved at Benjy Fenwick and Caradoc Dearborn who had noticed him in the window, then let the heavy curtain fall back into place.

Moony had put his book aside and was watching James closely.

"Do you think we should start getting ready then?" he asked his friend as he stepped away from the window. Moony nodded and made to pull himself up off the bed.

The cards on the floor exploded with a bang, filling the room with color and smoke. Wormtail cried out in shock and Moony sat back down heavily.

As the smoke began to clear James could see his friends more clearly. Padfoot's eyebrows and hair was singed, and Wormtail looked as if he had removed his own entirely, giving him a surprised look . James burst out laughing and Moony joined in.

"Thats a great look. It'll go well with your dress robes" he choked out. They both glared at him but he was unconcerned. It wasn't his problem if his best man looked as if he had had his head set on fire.

Wormtail was feeling his face with both hands, a look of horror building on his face.

"You have to fix it, you have to!" he whined squeakily, staring imploring around at his friends, and James could have sworn that he was twitching like the rat that he was.

Moony gave a sigh from the bed and stood.

"I think I can fix it" he said calmly. "Hold still."

Wormtail froze and Moony pulled out his wand and pointed it at his friends face. Wormtail squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

With a faint pop, eyebrows reappeared on the boys face and he put up a hand to feel them.

"Those should do nicely" Moony said idly.

"And how about me mate?" Padfoot asked, scrambling to his feet.

Moony turned his wand on Padfoot and his own eyebrows grew out to fill in the missing parts and the ends of his hair became smooth again.

Moony looked down at his wand with a faint smile.

"Useful little spell, I thought I might find a use for it, though I was picturing something more than a pack of exploding cards and a couple of idiots."

He grinned at his friends and pocketed his wand. Owing him their eyebrows, the others made no reply.

"I'll go get our dress robes then, shall I?" James offered, suddenly feeling claustrophobic in the small, crowded bedroom. "I think my mom hung them up across the hall so we couldn't wreak them early."

He left the room, crossed the hall and entered his mother's, closing the door behind him.

"James?"

He jumped in surprise and spun on the spot.

"Oh, sorry, I just came to get the...uh..."

Lily stood before him, already dressed in a beautiful white dress with thin straps and a number of other features that he couldn't remember the names of, guessing that they were probably french words. Her long red hair hung in soft curls around her face and down over her shoulders. It seemed to shine brighter than he had ever seen it and her skin glowed in the half light from the closed curtains. He felt his jaw drop.

Her happy smile changed to a look of mild concern as he stood there staring at her.

"James, are you alright?"

He closed his mouth with a snap and ran a hand though his hair. He really had to stop doing that. He sidestepped the bed and crossed the room but he didn't reach out or touch her and he realized that his mouth was open again.

"You... you look... you look... amazing" he stammered.

Lily blushed, scarlet glowing in her cheeks, enhancing the look of her. She giggled, and it sounded to him like a thousand tiny chimes ringing gloriously. As pathetic as it was, he just couldn't seem to find any imperfections in his fiance, from her sparkling emerald eyes to her currently bare feet sticking out from under the dress.

She had turned to the mirror and began to fuss with her hair, pushing it back and forth and running her fingers through it. James reached out and grabbed her hand, stopping her movements and turning her back towards him and pulling her close.

"Don't do that."

She raised one eyebrow at him.

"You look perfect already."

She rolled her eyes but rose up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

The door opened with a crash. It hit the wall and bounced back. James and Lily jumped apart guiltily. The door swung back open and Padfoot entered the room with a smug smile on his face.

"We were wondering where you had got to Prongs. Now I see."

For the first time, James wished that his friend would just leave them be.

"You know, you two have been really good so far but recently I've been getting that _urge _every time you're together."

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, sounding flustered, and she turned back to the mirror and started fussing with her hair again. James noticed that the mirror wasn't making any snide comments about her reflection as they all seemed to for him.

"The urge to heave, and I don't know that you'll still want me as best man once I'e ruined that dress of yours."

James pulled out his wand and sent sparks shooting at his friend who jumped out of the way with a bark of laughter. They hit the door instead and scorch marks appeared on the wood.

"Alright, alright, I get the point" Padfoot said, putting up his hands in surrender. "But you had better hurry up, we need to get ready."

He turned to leave.

"Oh, and it's supposed to be bad luck to see the bride in the dress before the wedding."

And he swept from the room, closing the door behind him. They could hear him chuckling as his footsteps faded down the hall.

"I think I'll take my chances." He grinned.

"He's right though, you should go get ready. I can't wait for you forever." She grinned back.

"Right. Well I came in here to get our robes."

Lily crossed to the closet and opened it. Four sets of dress robes hung on the back of the door and James flicked his wand so that they flew off and hovered in the air in front of him.

"See you at the alter then."

He leaned down and kissed Lily briefly and followed after Padfoot with the robes gliding in front of him.

"Unless you chicken out!" she called after him. He turned and stuck his tongue out.

Twenty minutes later he sat in the front row under the great white marquee. Padfoot sat on one side of him, with Moony and Wormtail just past him and his mother sat on the other side next to Lily's. His new robes chafed uncomfortably around his neck and arms. The rows behind him were filled with what seemed like every person that he had ever met. Looking over his shoulder he saw several people smile in his direction. Hagrid stood in back, towering over the others even as he leaned down to talk to the Prewetts, a tiny Dedalus Diggle and Edgar Bones who seemed to be dressed in robes covered in little, glittering stars, blinking brightly even in the competing sunlight. Dumbledore caught James' eye as he looked around the tent and the older man offered him a wink and a nod.

Returning his attention to the front he noticed that Padfoot was fidgeting in his seat, pulling at his own robes, and James couldn't blame him. The hot sun hadn't seemed to have acknowledged that they had put up a tent and was intent on giving them all heat stroke.

Suddenly, the band began to play a soft melody and the crowd fell silent. Those who were standing rushed to find their seats and a sense of excited anticipation settled over the quiet group as they looked to the front of the tent expectantly. James could feel hundreds of pairs of eyes boring into the back of his head.

Moony leaned around Wormtail with an amused look on his face.

"You two gonna stand up then?" Just as an elbow dug into James side and his mother nudged him to his feet. There was an appreciative chuckling from the crowd and then he was standing up in front of all those gathered with Padfoot standing beside him as best man, a slightly pained look on his face. Everyone was grinning up at them. It really wasn't as bad as he had expected it to be. A moment later they had been joined by an older man wearing a set of plain black robes and and a black top hat. The music swelled around them. James pulled at the front of his robes, straightening them, and tried again, rather hopelessly, to flatten his hair.

Gasps and sighs from the guests made him look up. Every head was turned towards the house, every face was smiling. He saw Mary walking down the aisle wearing a sky blue dress with her hair pulled back. He had to admit that she looked great.

Then Mary moved to the side and his eyes found who they were looking for. She was walking up the aisle on her father's arm.

All other thoughts were wiped from his mind as she came towards him and he couldn't help but notice that she was still barefoot. Their eyes met and she gave him a dazzling smile.

Then her hand was in his and she was still smiling widely at him, her eyes glittering, her hair gleaming, her cheeks blushed scarlet from the attention. He could feel a similar expression on his own face. The old man was speaking but he couldn't hear the words.

He had never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life.

"Lily;

I join my life with yours,

Wherever you go, I will go.

Whatever you face, I too shall face.

In good times and bad, in life and in death,

I give myself to you forever and always."

James heard the collective sigh from the audience as he spoke. He could hear Hagrid sobbing in back. He was actually rather impressed himself, having said the first words that had come to him. He was quite surprised that they had come out so well.

"...then I declare you husband and wife" the old wizard was saying. "You may kiss the bride."

And so he did.

He could feel Lily smiling as he kissed her. Cheers, giggling and cat calls filled the air. Someone wolf-whistled nearby. Lights exploded, birds twittered and he felt warm all over as these things seemed to melt away. He forgot about the people gathered, watching them, about everything. It was him and her, together forever no matter what. As it should be.

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AAAHH!!! WHAT DID YOU THINK? HOPE YOU LIKED!


	6. Butterbeer or goblin wine

Lily felt so many people pressing in on her. She didn't know who she was hugging, who was patting her on the back, who was congratulating her and James. The faces she knew were few and far between and so she concentrated instead on holding on to James' hand tightly as they were pushed through the crowd to the dance floor. Music had again started playing over the heads of the guests.

The biggest part of the day was over. Lily and James were married. She could feel the weight of the ring on her finger, she could remember saying the vows and it hadn't been half as frightening as she had expected it to be. But now she had another big moment to get past.

Lily had never been a good dancer. When she was six years old, she, like many other little girls her age had begged her parents to get her dancing lessons and like all other girls she had picked out the little outfits and shoes and hairpins and gone to class. She had managed four lessons before she fell, sprained her wrist, got a bloody nose and refused to ever go back and she had taken up football instead. She had avoided dancing ever since but she was quite sure that it was some sort of wedding tradition that the bride and groom had the first dance and so she let James guide her into the middle of the floor as the chairs flew back onto the grass and small white tables appeared among them, draped with sheer white table clothes and white roses to match.

She had hoped that this particular tradition was not the same in the wizarding world as it was in her muggle world but her hope had been in vain. James had placed one hand on the small of her back and he was holding her other in his. She could feel the eyes of every guest on them and she gulped.

"Y'okay?"

He was watching her closely with one eyebrow raised and she wondered if the expression on her face was giving her away.

"I can't dance" she said quietly so that only he could hear. He chuckled and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it. Just follow my lead, I'm a great dancer."

Modest too. And they were off. She tried to move her feet as smoothly as he did as they swirled around the dance floor and though she knew that she had not quite pulled it off, by the time her eyes left James' there were other couples stepping forward and surrounding them and no one was watching her anymore.

She noticed that she was holding her breath and she let it out with a gasp.

James was grinning as he brought their dance to a halt at the edge of the platform.

"That was good" he told her, amused. But it wasn't over. Her father seemed to appear out of nowhere for the next dance. James shrugged and disappeared into the crowd, leaving her to suffer through what seemed like every single male guest at the wedding. Even Hagrid did his best, holding both of her hands in his, cutting a wide path through the other dancers as she balanced on his giant feet so that he couldn't step on hers. It wasn't until her dance with Sturgis Podmore had ended that she found a chance to escape.

Sirius appeared in front of her with a flourish and a familiar floppy smile on his face.

"May i have this dance?" he asked enthusiastically, grinning and moving his body and arms back and forth in a mock waltz.

"Oh, thank god!"

Lily took hold of the front of his robes and dragged him through the other dancers and onto the lawn where she collapsed at an empty table, drawing laughter from those who couldn't seem to take their eyes off of her for a moment. Sirius sat down beside her and folded his arms across his chest.

"I take it were not dancing then?"

She rolled her eyes, grabbed an abandoned bottle of fire whiskey from the center of the table and passed it to him.

"Cheers Lily."

The other marauders converged on them bearing food and drinks except for James who still seemed to be dancing. An old woman with yellow hair and matching dress robes was hanging off of him, seeming to be very intent on her young dance partner.

Lily heaved a sigh of relief. She was sick of making small talk with people she had never met and was happy to just sit with her friends, who didn't expect her to talk about the weather or her dress or in fact anything at all as they drank and laughed around her, occasionally passing her cookies or filling her goblet. She realized with a jolt that her friends now were people whom she had once hated and the boy that she had been best friends with as a child was now her enemy. War did strange things to people. She looked around at Moony, Wormtail and Padfoot in turn.

"Having fun?"

A hand on her shoulder made her jump. Another of the white chairs revolved in the air and fell between her and Sirius at the table.

James was greeted with wild congratulations from his friends, somehow resulting in him having a flagon of mulled mead dumped over his head.

Waving it away with a flick of his wand he swung a leg over his chair and took a seat. Lily watched him reach out and take hold of her goblet. He raised it, swirling the contents. His eyebrows came together and he took a swig. He glanced up at his friends.

"We've got the finest meads, goblin made wines and whiskeys in the country and you lot are over here drinking butterbeer?" he asked incredulously.

"Yup" Sirius replied, unconcerned. "Moony snatched them from the kiddy table." He exchanged evil grins with his friend and Lily couldn't help but wonder if they had replaced the butterbeer with something they shouldn't have.

"Good batch too" he said thoughtfully, imitating James' contemplation with his own goblet, taking a hearty sniff and a shrug, his face twisting in confusion.

" Why? Did you want one?"

James sighed and held out a hand, throwing the other arm over the back of Lily's chair. " Yes."

When she was little, Lily had loved fireworks. She had thought there was something magical about the exploding lights and sounds so high above her head. When she had learned that they were not magic at all, that they were in fact merely the product of heat, gunpowder and a few other chemicals that she had never heard of they had all but lost any interest. There had been no such thing as magic.

And then she had left the muggle world and joined the one to which she had truly belonged, where not only fireworks, but nearly everything was literally magical.

Lily shifted her head on James' chest and his arm tightened around her briefly. The ground was hard beneath them as they watched the exploding colors far above their heads. They gave sighs of delight at the various magical explosions of light and gasped as a huge green dragon took form in the sky and swooped down low towards them before exploding into a thousand bright streamers of color that melted quickly into the night sky. Cheers erupted around them. She could feel the vibrations in James' chest as he laughed along with the others and spoke with his friends over her head.

Very different sounding voices broke through her conscious and caught her attention as she lay there on the ground. Raising her head off of James she looked around and was slightly shocked to see every attending member of the Order gathered tightly against the back fence, leaning towards each other and conversing in low voices, appearing more serious even then they had earlier in the day. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but whatever it was wasn't good.

She made to stand up but James' arms constricted around her.

"Where are you going?" he demanded with a groan of longing. She kissed him swiftly but pulled away much to soon for either of their liking.

"I'll be right back."

Pushing herself to her feet she made her way towards the gathered Order. She could feel Moody's electric blue eye upon her as she approached and the group fell silent as she joined them. They watched her seriously, causing her to shift uncomfortably under their gazes.

"I want to know."

A particularly large explosion overhead lit their faces with red, making them all look slightly ill and deathly. Moody's face looked especially knarled and mangled in the strange lighting, both his normal eye and his electric one focused on her. Several of the others exchanged glances and Dumbledore watched her with a twinkle in his eyes, giving her the usual feeling that she was being x-rayed, but she ignored it.

"I've been seeing you lot huddled together all day, did you think that I wouldn't notice?"

She crossed her arms stubbornly and glared around at them all. Dumbledore was smiling faintly but he didn't look at her, but at Moody, a question on his wise face.

Moody nodded.

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THANKS FOR READING AND FOR GREAT REVIEWS, KEEP IT UP. I WAS JUST WONDERING WHAT EVERYONE'S FAVORITE CHAPTER IS, JUST CURIOUS SO LET ME KNOW.


	7. Moony's girl?

* * *

James was quite surprised to find that not only was his wedding over, but also that he had quite enjoyed it. He would never have admitted it to anyone but he could see what people meant when they said that their wedding was the best day of their lives and of course the best part was yet to come.

Even the toasts had been alright. As best man it had been Sirius' duty to tell embarassing stories about his best friend but at that time James had been more intent on Lily and the goblet in his hand and had hardly listened as his friend had recounted the tale of his pursuit of Lily from day one. Then they had had a grand dinner and gathered around to watch the fireworks.

And then it was over. He couldn't see where Lily had got too and the guests were slowly making their way down the garden and into the road, throwing last minute congratulations over their shoulders or stopping briefly to shake his hand and wish him good luck.

He stopped at the gate and watched as Wormtail waved to him one last time and disappeared into the woods across the way, following after his mother and making his way home. A moment later Moony and Padfoot had appeared on either side of him with simultaneous popping sounds. They both had a drink in their hand, but Padfoot had two, as well as a scowl on his face. Moony was smiling.

"Drink, mate?"

He took one of the goblets that Padfoot was holding and looked at his friend closely.

"Thanks. But who was it meant for?"

He took a drink and nearly spit it out again.

"What are you talking about? It's for you" Padfoot said innocently.

He raised an eyebrow and looked down into the goblet.

"Since when is gilliwater my drink of choice?"

"Felicia Kent" Moony coughed into a fist. James shook his head and Padfoot's scowl deepened.

"What's wrong with these girls?" he demanded. "I mean, look at me. If you were a broad, what would you think?" he asked. He spread his arms and turned full circle. James choked into his goblet once more. "You actually think I'm gonna answer that? I'm a married man." He clapped his friend on the back and turned his goblet over the garden, emptying it into the flowers.

"You'll find the right girl someday. You both will."

It was Moony's turn to choke on his drink. He came up for air, gasping and shaking his head.

"You will for sure. Werewolf or not, you still got more going for you than old Padfoot here. She's out there somewhere."

Avoiding his friends jabbing fist, he spun out of the way.

"Sirius, What are you doing?"

They turned and Padfoot dropped his fist. His cousin Andromeda stood smiling at them beside her husband Ted Tonks and her daughter Nymphadora. The younger girl had kept the violently pink hair color that James had seen her with earlier and her eyes were unnaturally large and bright in her small heart shaped face.

"We were just leaving. Thought we'd come say goodbye to you lot."

Andromeda reached out and shook his hand and Moony's and gave her younger cousin a brief hug. There was no mention or talk of their mutual relations. James shook hands with Ted in turn and then he stood with his friends and watched the trio fade into the gathering darkness.

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I KNOW THIS IS A REALLY SHORT CHAPTER. I JUST NEEDED TO PUT SOMETHING FOR JAMES. HOPE YOU LIKE.


	8. Defiance

"There have been three raids on houses of order members in the last twenty four hours. Luckily none of ours have been hurt, or even found, but they've got insider information they shouldn't have and we don't know how their getting it. Headquarters has been compromised and it's been surrounded by death eaters. Even if they can't see it or get in it were still planning a move." Moody's voice was calm as he spoke but Lily could see the anger in his one real eye, etched in the lines of his scarred face, frightening in the shadows cast from surrounding lamps. The other's were once again exchanging looks and she knew that there was something that he wasn't telling her. She didn't say anything, but continued to watch him and for once he was the first to look away with a weary sigh before he continued.

"One of the raids was on your flat in london. Last night."

She couldn't say that she was shocked. Years of worry and precaution had prepared her for the possibility that she wasn't even safe in her own home, but the sheer luck that there had been no one there was unbelievable. What if they had been there? What if Remus had been there alone?

Moody gave her a moment to process this information. She took a deep breath and refocused her attention on him.

"We also think that they aren't finished. They'll continue with their raids until they find someone. And if they can find one of our homes then they can find them all. But we've got spies of our own. Were gonna try and catch them in the act. Get there's before they get ours" he said with a grim smile.

It was McGonagall who spoke next and Lily turned her attention to her old teacher.

"Dumbledore's spies have informed us that he who must not be named wants Mad-eye. He's an experienced auror and important member of the order. If they could get to him then they would have everything they could possibly need to infiltrate the most crucial inner order and ministry workings. They wouldn't mind getting their hands on Frank and Alice either." She shuddered slightly.

"We think they're planning more raids for tonight, but we can't be sure where they'll try them. We have a vague idea that they'll be going to Moody's, which is also not far from the Prewett's and they'll be trying to keep us distracted at headquarters. We'll be splitting into three teams. One at headquarters, also in charge of finding a new site. Another between the Prewett's and Moody's and yet another over at Caradoc's. We don' t think that's likely just yet but there's always the chance. Any movement and we can have the entire order at any of these places in seconds, and they don't know that were onto them. We catch a few of them and we can find out what Voldemorts up to" Moody said.

Lily felt the last of her wedding day bliss melt away as she was absorbed back into reality. The last few hours of her life had seemed like a dream to her, and it was high time that she woke up.

"I'm in."

The other's looked surprised at her announcement. Dumbledore was smiling faintly again, as if he had known all along what she would say but the looks of incredulity on the other faces made her bristle defensively.

"I'm in the order too. You think I'm not gonna take part in this? "

"But it's your wedding day, we really don't even know..." but Dorcas trailed off at the look that Lily could feel on her own face.

"We need everyone we can get."

"Alright then, this is good" Moody was saying, with the same grim smile still haunting him.

"Lily?!"

She turned to find the marauders, minus one, making their way across the yard towards her and she went to meet them.

The other guests had disappeared and the garden was quiet and empty. Even Mary had left with her boyfriend and Lily felt a twinge of guilt that she had not been there to say goodbye. The last people she had seen off had been her parents who had gotten on the knight bus, nervously, on their own, long before the festivities had ended, making ridiculous excuses about the long day and the drive, but Lily hadn't minded. She understood how her parents felt. That they didn't really fit in with the rest of her world.

As she reached James, he took her hands in his and kissed her swiftly with his usual boyish expression.

"Are you almost ready to go?" he asked as he pulled away. Sirius was grinning evily beside his friend and she sincerely hoped that he wasn't picturing her honeymoon with James. She glanced back over her shoulder at the gathered members of the order who stood, watching the exchange in silence.

James took everything in quickly and a wide grin spread across his face as he ran one hand through his hair, making it stick up even more in the back, if that was at all possible. Sirius too followed her line of sight and his evil grin was replaced with a look of excitement. "Have we got some action then?" he asked, rubbing his hands together enthusiastically.

She looked back at James. "How do you feel about putting our honeymoon on hold for a few hours?"

He just smiled in reply and followed her back across the yard to the assembled order with his friends trailing behind him, delighted anticipation hanging over them all. She doubted that it was a good thing that he was more excited about a battle than he was about their honeymoon.

****

It had been wonderful to put on normal clothes again. Lily leaned against the back fence of Caradoc Dearborn's yard in jeans and a t-shirt. If a muggle were to walk by, all they would have seen would be the three teens lounging in a dark alley, as if simply enjoying the muggy, stifling heat that had settled over the area. What they certainly wouldn't have noticed would be that all three of them had a hand stuck in a pocket where they each had their wands concealed, but ready at any moment for anything. Lily clutched her own tightly. The streets around them seemed too silent. Too still. Normal night sounds could not be heard and she didn't think that it had anything to do with the heat. She knew she was being paranoid but she couldn't help the feeling that they would be seeing more than empty alley.

Lily, James and Sirius had been instructed to watch the back of the house as Remus, Edgar and Emmeline patrolled the street in front inconspicuously. Caradoc Dearborn was alone in his house, keeping up the pretense that the order had no idea about the raids. Elsewhere, Lily knew that the same set up had been employed at Moody's and the Prewett's. She wondered how Dumbledore and the other's were doing at headquarters.

No one spoke. They were too jittery with anticipation to relax and they certainly didn't want to miss anything, even though, as they had been told, it was unlikely that they would be seeing any action in the vicinity. They exchanged glances every now and then as if checking to be sure that their friends were still with them. Sirius was still looking excited but Lily could see worry in James' face as their eyes met and she wondered if it was concern for her. She felt a twinge of annoyance at his unreasonable concern and looked away, rolling her eyes to herself. She was just as capable as anyone and James knew it. She had saved his life the last time they had worked together but he seemed to have conveniently forgotten all about that.

Very suddenly, all the lights in Caradoc's house came on simultaneously and they spun towards the signal, drawing their wands.

"I'll meet up with the others and check it out. You guys stay here" Sirius said and he took off up the alleyway to the adjoining street, disappearing into the shadows.

A moment later they heard a cry from the direction that he had ran and though they couldn't see a thing through the darkness surrounding them, they knew that there was something wrong. Flashes of bright light from the end of the alleyway confirmed their thoughts.

"Stay here, make sure no one goes in the back!" James demanded, and with that he turned and ran off after his friend.

Lily gritted her teeth and turned back to face the alley. The lights in the house behind her went off as quickly as they had turned on and she was plunged back into complete darkness.

She didn't light her wand for fear of drawing unwanted attention to herself. She felt like a sitting duck, alone, blind and vulnerable.

She knew just what the sound of sweeping cloaks coming towards her from the open end of the alley meant. She could just barely make out the figures as her eyes struggled to adjust and she froze on the spot. There were two of them and one of her but she didn't think that they knew she was there as they whispered quietly and excitedly to one another. She wished she knew what they were saying but she would only have one chance to do what she needed too. She had to take them out before they called for reinforcements.

The pair drew closer and she could see their horrible masks and hear their rough breathing. They were heading to meet their friend or friends at the other end of the alley where the sounds and lights of battle were still resonating or else they were heading for the very spot that she stood frozen. She could just barely make out muffles noises from within the house and she knew that she was all on her own. There were too many death eaters for the seven of them to handle.

"STUPEFY!!"

Lily jumped away from the fence, her wand pointed at the pair of death eaters. One of them swore loudly as the spell flew over his shoulder and he danced out of the way. The other death eater laughed and pulled out his own wand. But she knew that they could only see her as well as she could see them and she had managed to take them by surprise. They shot curses in her direction but she avoided them with an agile determination. She wasn't about to get herself killed on her wedding night, she had more important things to do.

She flicked her wand again and this time the spell hit the larger of the two death eaters right in the chest and he keeled over backwards, landing in the dirt with a thud. The other death eater gave a cry of rage and lunged forward.

"Avada Kedav-" But she blocked the horrible curse with a wave of her wand.

The lights in the house came on again and Lily could just make out more death eaters swarming up the alley towards her and the man with whom she was dueling. Even if there was no escape, she knew that she would fight them to the death. She had denied their request to join them and that made her a desired target, an enemy of the dark lord. Footsteps from behind her told her that she was surrounded.

The man she was fighting froze as the light from the house illuminated the scene and he seemed to lower his wand slightly as he looked at her. She too stopped curiously mid spell and a few pathetic sparks flew from the end of her own wand. A streak of light flew over her shoulder from behind her, mere inches from her face, and she dove out of the way. She hit the fence and fell to the ground, but the spell had not been intended for her.

She looked up just in time to see the jet of light hit the death eater directly in the face. His mask flew off and he joined his friend in a heap on the ground. Glancing back around, she saw Sirius with his wand raised, still pointing at the man's frozen form with James right behind him. Sirius had a deep gash on the side of his face, his shirt was torn and there was blood dripping down from beneath his hairline. James looked slightly better than his friend but was also ruffled. He too was bleeding form various wounds. He was covered in dirt and he seemed to have lost one of his shoes. They both continued to stare down at the death eater on the ground and Lily looked back around at the long, greasy black hair, pale complexion and hooked nose that the mask had been hiding.

"Snivellus?"

Sirius' voice was full of an old, familiar disgust, taking Lily back to their school days. He stretched out one leg and nudged Severus Snapes' paralized form with his foot. James too was glaring down at his enemy, even as he reached out and pulled Lily to her feet with one hand. Both men looked around at her, horror reflected in their faces, but she said nothing. She had found out years ago that they had been right about Severus all along and she no longer cared what happened to him.

"He tried to kill you." James' voice shook with barely contained fury. She could feel him shaking with anger, his face white and shining with sweat.

The other death eaters had drawn closer as the event had unfolded but they seemed to have only just noticed their friends figures on the ground and the small group of people standing over them. Cries of anger rang out from the group. Spells and curses shot from their wands. One hit would mean that she or James or Sirius would never get up again.

They shot back their own curses in turn and took off towards the other end of the alley.

"It's Sirius Black and the Potter boy and his mudblood! Kill them!"

Raucous laughter and cheers rang out from the masked group and Lily recognized the voice of Bellatrix Lestrange. She was another of Sirius' relations and it was quite clear that she had no intention of letting her cousin and his friends escape. Lily shot another stunning spell over her shoulder as she ran, still gripping tightly to her husbands dirty, blood soaked hand and she heard a responding cry of as the spell hit it's mark. More curses flew over their heads, hitting fences and garbage cans as they hurried past. A cat ran across their path, gave a loud hiss as it jumped out the way of a jet of brilliant death and took off away from them. She hoped for the cat's sake that it would never again have to cross the path of another witch or wizard.

Lily nearly tripped over the body of another death eater as they reached the mouth of the alley and stumbled into the street. James' strong hands pulled her back up and around the corner and her jaw dropped at the sight before them. Death eaters dueled openly with members of the order in the middle of the street. Everyone seemed to have arrived for both sides. Moody was battling three masked men with a level of skill that Lily could never hope to achieve. Dumbledore himself battled several death eaters and he was already surrounded by several that had already fallen. The expression on his face was almost bored and he looked around and winked as she watched him. The other members were fairly evenly matched. Many of the death eaters masks had come off and she could see many familiar faces among her enemy.

Lily ducked another streak of light as it missed it's target and flew towards her instead. She turned on her heels and gasped in surprise. Remus Lupin was battling head to head with Fenrir Greyback not far off from the other duelers. The look on each face reflected the inner wolf in a way that Lily had never seen in Lupin's usually mild, friendly expressions. Lily raised her wand but a hand on her arm stopped her and James shook his head. It was Moony's battle.

With several loud cracking sounds, Bellatrix and her gang from the alley appeared amongst the other duelers, Severus among them.

Lily felt hatred burning inside of her like nothing she had ever felt. It was power and pain, and revenge. She dove into battle forcefully alongside the others.

Not far from her she saw James' taking on Severus and another masked death eater with a vengeance. Sirius was also fighting two at at time and Lily soon found herself face to face with Bellatrix. The older woman descended on her. She too had lost her mask, and her dark hair hung wildly around her shoulders. The witch cackled wildly as she took in her younger aponent but her smile faded rapidly as Lily managed to deflect each of her attacks, forcing them back at her, adding her own attacks to the mix. Every feeling of fear or hatred that Voldemort and his followers had ever brought up in her, Lily directed at his most trusted death eater. Voldemort wanted to kill muggles and mudbloods but she wasn't about to lay down and let him do so.

"I've been hoping to see you again, mudblood!" Bellatrix spit furiously at her. "You and your little boyfriend have caused more than enough trouble. The dark lord is not happy, oh, no, he is not happy with you at all." Lily sent a spell shooting at her enemy but the woman dodged it and closed in on her. "But the dark lord thinks that you could be useful, very useful, even though you are a mudblood" she said with distaste." I have been instructed to give you one last chance before I kill you." She cackled again, reminding Lily strongly of the muggle tales of witches, stirring their cauldrons and eating children.

It was quite clear what Bellatrix thought of letting a mudblood live as she shot another killing curse at Lily. She ducked and the mailbox behind her exploded so forcefully that it nearly knocked her off her feet. She could smell burning hair and feel the sparks charring her skin. She retaliated violently with the cruciatus curse but Bellatrix just laughed as she stumbled backwards.

"You have to mean it, you fool! And I'll take that as a refusal. Well then, I hope that you and your little friends are prepared to die!" and the battle continued savagely. Lily could taste blood in her mouth as she continued to fight. Her muscled burned in protest. Heat and hostility radiated through her and into her wand. Adrenaline exploded in her veins.

Loud cracking sounds reached her ears, announcing the arrival of a number of new people on the scene. Had Voldemort sent more of his followers? They couldn't hold it up much longer. She could see that many of the order had already fallen but it was with a sigh of relief that she saw that her assumption was wrong.

"The aurors, the aurors, the ministry is coming!"

Cries of anger and victory erupted from both the death eaters and the order respectively. The loud cracking sound was echoed up and down the street as ministry employees appeared and death eaters vanished, too afraid or weak to continue.

" You can fight mudblood, but you and your friends won't be so lucky next time. We will get you!" Bellatrix promised with a roar and a moment later she had dissaparated with a loud crack.

"LILY!"

She looked up in time to see James hurdling towards her through the crowd. Very few people were still battling. She could see Dumbledore and Barty Crouch standing over the death eaters that they had managed to capture but most of them had disapparated, to torture and fight another day. Members of the order were being roused from the ground. Cries of "enervate" could be heard from all around them as stunned people were brought back to life, some more badly injured than others.

Sirius was limping as he made his way towards them.

"So that didn't go quite as planned. Guess we'll be seeing them again" he said, looking altogether too eager at the idea.

Remus was bleeding profusely from a deep wound on his arm that he seemed not to have noticed. His look of fury told them that Fenrir Greyback had managed to escape with the others. The other members were disappearing one by one up and down the street. Moody, Frank and Alice were speaking with the newly arrived aurors.

"You look horrible" James told her seriously, eyes on her stomach where she knew that she had received a violent wound. She could feel the blood trickling down her side but she hardly cared at all.

They had all survived but she couldn't help thinking about what Bellatrix had said to her. Till next time then, she thought determinedly. There would be no giving in.

"So do you." She placed her hands on either side of his face. If he noticed them shaking slightly as she did it he said nothing.

"Are you almost ready to go?" he asked her for the second time that night.

Lily grinned. "Anytime."


	9. Parisian problems

The ministry was furious about the lack of secrecy. The operation had turned out to have been a complete disaster. Muggles who had seen what had happened had to be tracked down in order for ministry wizards to perform the necessary memory charms and the day after the battle, a dead family of five was removed from their home next to Caradoc Dearborn's where the death eaters had entered mercilessly. The rest of the week kept them busy with the move to the new headquarters and the installation of the fidelius charm. James and Lily took up residence there as their flat was still under surveillance by the death eaters and Remus wound up in the spare room of Sirius' condo. The following weeks saw Lily and the marauders on the job nearly twenty four hours. They spent days on end tracking down and following the death eaters they had unmasked during the battle and when they weren't doing that they were at headquarters, in a meeting or catching up on their sleep. And so it wasn't until three weeks after the wedding that James finally found himself suggesting that they continue with their honeymoon plans, during one of those short, quiet times when they were actually alone together.

And three weeks after that they lay in a hotel bed in Paris, with an excellent view of the eiffel tower and the arc de triomph. They had been to Germany and Holland but James was quite sure that France was his favorite. He had been introduced to several new things aver the course of the trip, such as Champagne and spray bottles of whipped cream and an odd substance that seemed to have been baked into a cake that he had been offered in a club in Amsterdam. Champagne had quickly gone on the list of things that he hated. Whipped cream in turn had gone on the list of brilliant muggle inventions. He didn't even want to think about the other thing.

James didn't stir for fear of waking Lily, who slept soundly with her head on his chest, waves of her shining auburn hair flowing over him like warm water or silk. Light danced across her gentle features, illuminating her porcelain skin and bringing out the highlights in her hair. He felt himself tracing patterns lightly onto her pale arm with one finger. He had no recollections of ever feeling quite so happy as he did when he watched her sleep.

Lily's eyes opened, heavy and deep with sleep. She yawned and stretched, bending her neck at an awkward angle so as to be better able to wish him good morning in the proper way. James kissed her back passionately.

" _Bonjour, mon amour_" he said as they separated, just as he had been practicing.

Lily pulled a face and giggled, hand over her mouth. He forced an injured look onto his face but she didn't fall for it. He delighted in the sound of her soft laughter.

"You have a problem with my french? You know that it's the language of love right? And here I was planning on serenading you with my newfound bilingual talents." He swept an arm through the air, taking in the room, the piles of clothing on the floor and the curtained window, beyond which lay all the wonders of France, like cheese and baguettes and olives.

Lily just shook her head and rose from the bed, taking a sheet with her and wrapping it snugly under her arms so that it flowed to the ground like a gown. James briefly considered reclaiming it.

"I've heard you sing before." She pulled a thoughtful expression. "I think I would have to compare your singing to what I would expect to hear if I was to hit a bag of cats against a wall."

James burst out laughing, his sides splitting, tears in his eyes, but she merely gave him a serene smile and crossed to open the curtains, letting the bright sunlight flood into the extravagant bedroom.

"And my french?" he asked, deciding against giving her another sample of his talents. He jumped up, fished around in a drawer and came up with a t-shirt and boxers. He pulled them on, eyes still on his wife.

"Um... same comparison, except all the cats have died but one."

James shook his head sadly

* * *

. "You do know that's disgusting, don't you?"

****

The parisian streets teamed with people, both local and tourist. Muggles held cameras, ready at any moment to capture anything that seemed unusual or foreign to them. An old, balding man had James take a photo of him and his wife in front of a marketplace. Men pushing bicycles, wearing those little hats that made them look like painters, and carrying baguettes under their arms muscled their way through the crowds in a habitual manner.

James held tightly to Lily's hand as they wound their way through the tightly packed street, keeping an eye out for food. He had the feeling that no matter how long he stayed, he would never get used to the place.

A small cafe soon caught their attention across a busy square and they made their way across hopefully, soon joining the queue for a table where old couples and parents with young children already sat, enjoying _pain au chocola__t_ and sipping _cafe au lait_. A young boy sipped a glass of wine nearby and a harassed looking waiter made his way past, laden with trays. A little blonde girl with flowers in her hair danced up to him and offered him her pastry, jabbering pleasantly at them in french.

James felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he spun on the spot, reaching for his wand that he had concealed in the pocket of his jeans. Lily's hand on his arm stopped him abruptly. They both stared through the crowds of people, searching for a familiar face or a dark mask but there was nothing for them to see. A moment later an urgent voice interrupted them in french, speaking so fast that there was no understanding what the little man was saying before he turned on his heel and disappeared around the side of the building, whisking the little blonde girl in his wake. James exchanged an uneasy look with Lily as the waiter waved them to an empty table.

James stood frozen in horror in the doorway of their hotel room an hour later. He could feel Lily's fingers digging into his arm like claws. The room was a disaster. Luggage was strewn across the floor. The blankets had been torn from the bed and furniture had been upended, most of it in pieces. Pillows had obviously been slashed open, white feathers having settled over everything.

James gently pried Lily's fingers from his arm and strode across the floor, looking down on what had once been comfortable hotel accomodations, turned into a warning.

"What were they looking for?"

James shook his head. Lily had her arms crossed tightly across her chest as if to protect herself from the destruction all around her. Her emerald eyes gleamed with worry and something else, a barely concealed desire for revenge.

"Nothing. They just want us to know that they know. That they've been watching us."

"But why like this? They could just as easily have killed us." She looked almost hopeful as she said it, not for their deaths but for the chance to fight. It reminded him of Padfoot and maybe even a little of himself.

He didn't really have an answer. Why were the death eaters keeping their distance when they wanted Lily and James dead so badly? He picked up the remnants of what had once been a novel from the bedside table, turned it over in his hands and threw it back down again rather violently. Charred pages fell from the spine and fluttered to the ground at his feet. He didn't pick them up.

"Either they're still holding out hope we'll join up or else their not the only one's who've been following us."

"You mean Dumbledore?"

"Best guess. Did you have anything important?"

"No. You?" Lily had pulled out her wand and begun to repair the objects in the room. Feathers flew back into their pillows and legs reattached themselves to the furniture.

"Nah. I left the invisibility cloak at my mothers which is starting to seem like it was a really bad idea." He ran a hand through his hair.

"I think that our honeymoon is effectively over, if not ruined."

Lily nodded her head without looking at him. A tear in the comforter mended itself and the room was returned to it's original state.

* * *

I'M REALLY NOT SURE IF I LIKE THIS CHAPTER BUT I HOPE THAT YOU ALL DO. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO READ AND MORE THANKS TO THOSE WHO REVIEWED. I KNOW IT WASN'T NEARLY LONG ENOUGH CAUSE BATTLE SCENES ARE WAY MORE FUN TO WRITE AND READ THAN PG RATED HONEYMOONS. LOOK FOR MORE REALLY SOON AS I'VE GOT MOST OF IT IN MY HEAD, I JUST HAVE TO FILL IN THE GAPS AND WRITE IT DOWN.


	10. Brother's brother

Night had fallen by the time they exited the hotel. Fewer people roamed the streets, tourists having already retired to their rooms for fear of what the darkness might bring. James held his wand at his side, not bothering to keep it hidden as no one paid them any attention and secrecy was the last of his worries. He noticed that Lily had copied him, her hand clutched so tightly around the thin strip of wood that her knuckles were white.

He didn't know exactly why they had decided to do it, why they hadn't simply packed up their things and disappeared, gone back to the order and the relative safety that they shared in numbers, why they hadn't even called for help. All he knew was that no matter where they went or how far they ran it wouldn't be over, it would never be over for them until they were dead and strangely enough it gave him a feeling of freedom and power.

They would find a way to make the death eaters show themselves and they would fight them. And after that, no matter the outcome, he would be with Lily. Perhaps they were on a suicide mission, as they walked avenues in search of what exactly he didn't know, but he did know that they would find it. He could feel Lily's free hand in his own, soft and familiar, hot in his.

It didn't take them long to reach a more desolate section of the city, one that he could only assume to be the slums of Paris. Roads and alleys overflowed with garbage. Homeless people sheltered under cardboard boxes, leering at them as they passed, as if they were heading into a spider's web. And James couldn't help but think it himself. What he couldn't decide was whether they were the spiders or the flies.

They saw no sign of being followed as they continued walking, if only to feel as if they were doing something but he certainly hadn't expected too. No death eater was stupid enough to follow with the possibility of being seen but he could feel it, the hum of magic surrounding them in the dark, growing stronger as they drew into another empty street. The streetlights had long ago been extinguished, he guessed mostly by vandals with rocks. Not even a rat stirred in the gutter.

James glanced at Lily and found her looking back. She nodded at him, as if responding to his thoughts. It was time. They crossed to a building, the windows of which had been boarded over, bricks crumbling from the foundation, and pressed their backs to the wall so that they could see everything from one end to the other. He could hear car horns blocks over, the sound of music and laughter from a club. A door slammed. A woman screamed. He felt as if they were in an entirely different world. He squeezed Lily's hand briefly, feeling the responding pressure as she returned the gesture and then he let go.

James removed his jacket casually and draped it over a pile of rubble. He felt more than one pair of eyes watching him as he did it, as he rolled up the sleeves of his button down shirt, the same one that he had been wearing the day that he had asked her to marry him. He turned back to her and stared into her deep green eyes, seeing himself reflected in them. Lily smiled, not in a grim way as if preparing herself for battle but in the way that she reserved just for him, lighting up her whole face, shining at him. Happy.

They didn't count to three. They didn't have a signal that had them both moving at the exact same moment, that had both wands sweeping through the air simultaneously as if they were one person, as light exploded from each and flooded the street, illuminating the abandoned, graffitied buildings. He had a split second to think about how it must feel to be old and beyond any imaginable use, to just be there because no one could be bothered, before the magic took affect.

There were four death eaters, none of whom wore masks and all of whom were only too familiar, bringing up memories of previous battles, those times surrounded by their friends, this time alone. These people were nameless bringers of the horror that Voldemort represented, each of their faces displaying mingled feelings of anger at having been uncovered and delight at the job that they were about to do, the pleasure that the deaths of the Potter's would bring to their master and the glory that would be bestowed upon them. A long moment of frozen silence passed and James could feel his heartbeat pounding in his throat, he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. He looked at the death eaters and they looked back at him.

"So where's Lestrange?" he asked casually, as if enquiring after an old friend. "I was so looking forward to seeing her again but I suppose Voldemorts not too happy after her screw up last time."

The death eaters growled. He had dared speak their masters name, dared mock the dark lord and his followers.

And a moment later it was as if someone had pressed play and everything happened at once. Six people fired curses at each other. The spells mostly collided, some exploding on impact, others rocketing off course and ricocheting off of buildings, sending dust and bricks raining down on the people below who jumped out of the way to avoid being hit and at the same time, a loud cracking sound could be heard not ten feet away and an old, balding man appeared out of the darkness. James recognized him instantly as the man with the little blonde girl from the cafe but he was no longer dressed in muggle clothing. Instead he wore robes of an electric blue color that reminded James of Moody's magical eye. He winked at them.

Distracted by the new arrival, the death eaters spun around, shooting curses at the old man instead and James took his chance. With a flash of brilliant light, the largest of them went flying, crashing into a building opposite and falling to the ground in a heap, sending dust clouds up around him. James didn't know that he would ever be getting up again.

The old man drew level with them and flicked his wand carelessly over his shoulder. Chords shot out and wound themselves around one of the other death eaters, who gave a cry of rage as he was bound tightly, his wand dislodged from his hand and rolling away under a stack of old boards .

The last of them started forward angrily, shooting curses at each of them in turn, forcing them to dive out of the way. He was putting up a good fight, spells shooting from his wand one after another, hardly giving them time to think. They retaliated in good measure, sending their own spells back, three against one instead of two against four.

Lily hit the death eater between the eyes and he immediately began sprouting tenticles on his arms and face but he jumped right back into the battle like an overgrown squid. How long he could possibly hold out on his own James didn't know, as he reflected a hex that had been directed at him, but he knew it was only a matter of time. The spell flew back towards it's maker, who avoided it in turn and it collided with a nearby building that burst into gold flame. He didn't want to know what it would have done it had it hit it's intended target.

More cracking sounds broke through his subconscious and he looked up to see more death eaters appearing alongside their fallen friends.

James took them in.

A young, dark haired boy stood in his death eater get up, but he didn't look as if he wanted to be there at all though he held his wand at the ready. There was no anger or burning desire for glory in his expression and as he stared at Lily and James and the old man who fought his mates, a look that James had seen a million times appeared on his face, a look of mingled curiosity, and then a glimmer of recognition . It took him several seconds to realize who the boy was and why he looked so familiar. They had only met briefly during their school days but he knew the boy's brother better than anyone. This boy was his brother's brother.

James had no desire to fight Regulus Black and as if reading his mind, the younger boy lowered his wand.

"JAMES!"

Lily's voice tore through him like a knife and he spun towards her, wand raised, prepared to defend her, but it wasn't Lily that needed help. He saw the look of triumph on the face of a dark haired death eater that was built like a tank and a moment later he felt the burning pain in his chest and the blood pouring between his splayed fingers. The world blurred and he heard Lily scream.

He was falling. His head hit something hard but it didn't hurt him, the pain in his chest radiating through him, stronger than any other feeling. Lily's face swam into view above him. He couldn't make out the expression on her face but he tried to smile reassuringly before the darkness pressed in on him.

* * *

I REALLY ENJOYED WRITING THIS CHAPTER, IT WAS FUN. SEE YOU ALL SOON.


	11. Pyramid

SO THEIR HONEYMOON IS SO TOTALLY OVER. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THE STORY IS. ENJOY!

* * *

She knew it was too late before she called his name. She watched him turn, as if in slow motion towards her, wand raised. The curse flew under one of his outstretched arms and hit him in the chest. He stumbled, confused for a moment before he felt it. Blood sprayed from his body like a fountain and he fell, hitting his head against the brick wall behind him as he went.

She heard herself screaming. It was a disconnected sound, an odd, out of body experience. It was as if she was watching herself run to him and she fell to her knees, trying to stem the flow of blood with her hands, but there seemed to be no source as it poured from his body. He jerked convulsively and she couldn't hold him. She was covered in his blood, the warmth and smell of it penetrating her senses. And as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. The blood stopped coming. He stopped moving. Lily didn't know whether it was a good thing, or whether he simply had nothing left to give.

"Go! Take him and go! Get to headquarters!"

She looked up at the old man, the man who had come out of nowhere to help them, and yet he seemed to know all about them and about the order. If she dissaparated with her husband, would she be condemning their saviour?

"Go! I'll hold them off!"

She hoped that it would work. Half supporting James' body in her arms she did her best. Determination, deliberation, destination. At least she thought that the three D's went something like that. She remembered her sixth year at Hogwarts and the apparition lessons they had been given by a dull woman who acted as if she was being punished somehow by being forced to associate with school children. She had gone on and on about the ability to apparate and how it was in fact quite as simple to apparate to egypt as it was to apparate a distance of ten feet but that was where Lily's memories of the classes ended. She hadn't paid much attention back then and so she wasn't even sure that the whole side along apparition would work out for her, especially when the side along was unconscious. Or perhaps that made the process easier, though either way, she still preferred flying.

There was a loud crack and she felt the air pressing in on her from all sides. She could still feel James in her arms, his head flopping against her chest like the Raggedy Anne doll she had had as a child but at least it had worked.

They landed with an uncomfortable thud on what looked like a pile of sand. She took a deep breath, inhaling dust and heat and pure, glorious silence on all sides. Lily crossed the fingers of the hand that supported James' head and pointed her wand at his chest, at the precise spot from which his blood had run moments before.

"ENERVATE!" she shouted, as if the louder she spoke, the more power the spell would have. She shook him and he drooped limply in her arms. She lowered his head to the ground and put her hands over her own face, trying to think, to take in what had happened, why they had been so stupid and irresponsible and finally to come up with a solution. When she raised her head again it was only to realize that her face would now be covered in blood as well.

"Enervate!" she cried again, more weakly this time. With a frustrated sound that reminded even her of a wounded animal, she threw her wand aside and raised her hand.

The blow that she delivered might well have woken him from unconsciousness, had he not opened his eyes a moment before her hand made contact with his face. He groaned loudly and attempted to roll away. Lily jumped back in surprise.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" She cried ringing her hands. "I'm so, so sorry! Oh my god! I just wanted you to wake up! But you're alright!" she babbled.

"Geez, whatever I did, there's no reason to get violent." She opened her mouth to apologize again, but then she saw the amusement in his eyes even as he rubbed his face where she had hit him. When he moved his hand, she saw that it was raw and red. She threw herself around his neck, planting kisses on every bit of him that she could reach and earning another groan of pain. Finally, he was forced to push her face from his with the one hand that wasn't lodged under her body.

Then she pulled away and James glanced past her.

"Oh my god!"

"What is it?"

She was afraid to turn. She didn't want to know where they were. She had been hoping to get to headquarters but that obviously hadn't worked. She had figured when they had landed that anywhere was better than where they had been but what if she had been wrong.

A wide grin was spreading over James' face and even though she could still see the pain reflected in his eyes, he was laughing. She spun to see what he was looking at.

"So we're in Egypt then?" he asked her, still grinning. They both took in the stretch of dessert on all sides and the sun that was beating down. Lily realized that they were both sweating and that what she had thought to be a pile of sand was a little more complex than that.

"We're on top of a pyramid" she replied, with a tone that she hoped gave the impression that it had been her intention all along to land them on an Egyptian pyramid. James laughed harder and only stopped for a split second to say "Well, This is definitely the last place that anyone would ever look for us. Maybe we could live here" he added in a mocking voice. She wondered whether it would be worth it to hit him again.

"Well, not all of us get to lie down and have a nice nap in the middle of a battle. I had other things on my mind."

"Like Egypt?" he asked with an eyebrow raised but his face had clouded and she wondered how bad the pain was.

"We should get need attention" she said quietly.

"Did you see him Lily?"

She didn't need to ask who he was talking about because she had in fact seen him. Amid all the strange people who had been on the scene, the death eaters and the old, unknown wizard who had saved their lives, it was Regulus Black who she could remember most clearly through the panic and fight. A younger Sirius and an opposite one, not yet a man, and not on their side.

"Will you tell him?"

He looked up at her and she could see the sorrow in his face that had replaced the pain that still lingered underneath, for it was a stronger feeling that he felt for his friend, who was all alone, who's family hated him and yet they knew he would still have been eager to hear news of the younger man, who, evil or not, was still his bother.

James shook his head.

"I don't know. We'll see." He smiled again weakly. "You know, that's the third time that we've gotten lucky and escaped Voldemort's stupid death eaters. You think they would take a hint."

She forced herself to smile back, despite the fact that she was fairly sure they were both wondering the same thing. What about when their luck ran out? How much longer could they fight?

"Ready?"

Lily helped him to his feet, not eager to try to apparate them both again, certain that he would be able to manage it himself.

"Headquarters?" she asked. James nodded. Flinched in pain.

****

Cries of shock told her that she had gotten the right place. A crack, and James appeared beside her. He slumped sideways and she took his weight. The pain was coursing through him more strongly and the strain of the apparition had not helped at all, she could almost feel it radiating from him. Running footsteps announced that several people were approaching and she realized how bad they both looked, soaked in blood and covered in egyptian sand. She almost laughed.

"LILY! JAMES!"

Several voices cried their names. Sirius, Remus and Peter were all there, as well as Dumbledore and a multitude of other faces.

She looked around at the new headquarters beyond the fence. The large house stood in the middle of what she could only assume to be nowhere. It looked as if it was an abandoned building, collapsing in on itself. They had apparated just beyond the limit of the property, lucky that the whole of the order seemed to have been standing outside. She wasn't sure that she would have been able to do anything other than lie down and fall asleep right there on the grass if there had been no one.

She felt hands and arms on her, James being taken from heard voices talking to her, asking her where the blood had come from and if she had been hurt. What had happened?

She closed her eyes. She felt as if she too had been cut open and drained. She had no energy left, nothing to tell these people just yet. They had to look after James. If she knew that he was going to be alright than she too would be alright.

"Lily!"

The voice was sharp, yet familiar. Someone was shaking her shoulders roughly. She opened her eyes to find Moony's face inches from her own, concern in the extremely premature lines of his twenty one year old face. Padfoot, Wormtail, Moody and a few other's stood just behind him withsimilar expressions. Everyone else seemed to have gone inside, bearing James. She knew he was going to be alright. Not minutes before, they had been talking and laughing on a pyramid, which meant that Dumbledore at least, could fix him completely. She grinned broadly. Remus glanced at Sirius and moved his face back to see her better. She knew he was wondering if she had lost it or if she had been hit by a faulty memory charm.

Dumbledore was coming back down the steps and across the lawn with a look of utmost concern and seriousness. He approached her cautiously as her friends backed off a little to give them room.

"Is James alright?" she asked, the smile fading from her face in an instant.

"Yes, he'll be fine, he's asleep. But Lily, before you join him, I need to know exactly what's been happening since you left on your honeymoon."

Lily blushed before realizing what he really meant. She crossed her arms aver her blood soaked t-shirt and forced the crimson embarassment back beneath her skin.

"Well it was all pretty excellent until today."

Behind Dumbledore's back she saw Sirius elbowing Remus with an eyebrow raised but his friend simply frowned at him and waved him away, intent on hearing the story.

"We realized that the death eaters had been tracking us. They tossed our hotel room, so we decided to go looking for them. We thought that there would only be a couple of them and we also assumed that Voldemort wasn't the only one following us." She glanced at Dumbledore's expression, but he gave away nothing.

"i know it was a stupid thing to do but we thought we could handle it and we also thought that you had someone watching us."

Another loud crack made the assembled members jump and Lily was the only one besides Dumbledore who didn't even flinch. She wondered if she had run out of fear for the day. She looked around to find the small, old french wizard who had saved their lives. She was glad to see him in one piece.

"Well" Dumbledore said calmly as the people around them collected themselves, having expected another disaster. "You were right about one thing. Luckily." He glanced down at her and she felt another blush creeping out from beneath her collar, bringing the shame that she felt at having been so foolish, letting James be so stupid and for underestimating the death eaters when she should have known better. But Dumbledore didn't mention these things. He put a soothing hand on her shoulders, his long, white fingers giving her a reassuring squeeze.

"You did quite well tonight" he told her quietly so that only she could hear.

He held the other hand out to the old man.

"I would like to introduce you to an old friend. This is Dominique..." The old man shook his head slightly and Dumbledore faltered. "Just Dominique" he finished brightly. "He's been following you since you left London three weeks ago and he was the one who helped you out tonight."

Lily had known that already. She wiped her hands quickly on her jeans, realized that it was useless, as they were just as covered in blood as her hands and held one out anyway. He took it without a moment's hesitation.

"Thank you so much" she said sincerely. "You saved our lives."

"Pas de problemes" he replied, giving her a slight smile before continuing in english. "I quite enjoy the fight. And I hear that it's not the first time you've met up with the death eaters either."

She shook her head.

"I would be delighted if you would tell me about your other encounters. I was quite impressed with your skill with a wand" Dominique told her enthusiastically.

Behind them, Dumbledore gave a slight cough and they both turned towards him and the others.

"Perhaps that could wait for another time as I am quite sure that everyone here is quite as eager as I am to hear about the day's events and as Mr. Potter is currently indisposed it would fall to the two of you to tell us what we are dying to know."

"Of course, of course" Dominique replied, flustered. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled behind his half moon spectacles and he turned to lead the way up to the house.

Lily followed behind the others up the path but stopped very suddenly before she reached the stairs.

Nausea rolled over her in waves and she felt dizzy as if she had been spinning in circles. Bile rose in her throat, almost making her vomit, but she swallowed it back down, closing her eyes again.

"Lily, what's wrong?"

She reached out both hands and felt them close around an offered arm as she took deep breaths of the chilly evening air, trying to regain her balance and focus. She opened her eyes and saw the others all watching her with worried expressions, deja vue from minutes before.

"I'm fine. Sorry."

She dug her nails into Sirius' arm, sending him a silent message as the others turned back to the house. Not fine! Not fine! He got it with a grimace, unlatching her hands from his arm where she saw that red marks had formed where her nails had poked into his skin and he put an arm around her shoulders, letting her lean into him as they made their way after the others, Peter and Remus close behind them.


	12. Expecting the unexpected

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. ENJOY.

* * *

James was awake with the sun. Early morning light flooded through the open window of the small bedroom, and it took him several long moments to realize that he was in the room he had been sharing with Lily at headquarters since the raid on their flat in london. He sat up dizzily, a sudden head rush bringing back memories that he would just as soon have forgotten. Paris, the death eaters and the old man, and blood, so much blood. He found his glasses on the side table and pulled them on, looking down at his bare chest, but the only difference was his newly acquired European tan. He touched his palm to the spot that he remembered and the skin burned hot against his hand. He withdrew it immediately and tried to remember anything after the blood. Where was Lily? He remembered hearing her scream just before everything had gone black. Was she alright?

He pulled himself to his feet and dug through the closet and the piles of junk that had been stored in this room by previous owners of the house. He found a t-shirt, wincing as he pulled it over his head.

He leapt over the luggage that had been brought from the hotel in Paris and now lay abandoned in the doorway and set off down the stairs in search of life. Doors to either side of the hall were open but the rooms were empty and the few beds that he would have expected to be occupied were undisturbed. He was beginning to think he was alone when he reached the bottom floor and the sounds of conversation and an early breakfast could be heard coming from the kitchen.

He pushed the door open and was instantly hailed with cries of welcome. A dozen smiling faces looked up at him from the table. Several people leaped to their feet and surrounded him. He breathed a sigh of relief as Lily came towards him, her face white with the exception of the dark circles under her eyes. He saw her glance out the window as she reached out to him and he could tell that she was surprised to see the daylight. He wondered when she had last slept.

She hugged him gently, as if he was particularly delicate but even the light touch made his chest burn angrily. He grimaced and she pulled away quickly and lead him to a seat across from his friends, who all looked at him with slightly concerned looks on their faces. He looked around the table and noticed that the old man was there, still wearing the electric blue robes that matched the color of the magical eye of the man who sat beside him, taking a swig from his hip flask, the blue eye on James.

Lily had slumped back down in the chair between Padfoot and Moony and he noticed that the others were giving her looks of concern that matched the ones they offered him.

"How long was I asleep?" he asked. Lily sat up straighter and answered, her emerald eyes duller than usual. She didn't seem to be eating anything. He couldn't remember if she had been hurt.

"About seventy two hours." She glanced around at the others at the table and then gestured at the old man.

"This is Dominique. He saved our lives that night. He's an old friend of Dumbledore's and part of the order. He was following us on our honeymoon."

James nodded, she didn't need to spell it out for him. Most of what she said, he had already guessed.

"Thank you."

Dominique smiled and returned to his sausages and James realized suddenly just how hungry he was. He reached for the nearest plate of toast.

"So what's been going on since we left?"

The pleasant atmosphere in the room changed in an instant, sending a chill down his spine. A dozen conversations up and down the table came to an abrupt halt and every head turned towards him. He very slowly lowered the toast he was holding and put it back on it's plate.

"What happened?"

Lily leaned her head against the back of her chair and closed her eyes. Padfoot and Moony both looked at her, the others exchanged glances.

James turned to look at Moody who was staring right back at him with both his magical and normal eyes.

"Dearborn's gone missing" he said.

"What?!"

"We don't know exactly when or where, he wasn't on duty so there's no knowing. His house was undisturbed, but we think they finally got him. No body or nothing, so they could be torturing him."

James felt the blood draining from his face. Caradoc Dearborn was missing.

"When?"

"A week after you left" Moony told him.

Better dead than what Voldemort and the death eaters would do to him.

****

The marauders found Lily spread on the lawn on her back, with her hands behind her neck, her hair spread out around her head like a halo. She stared up into the bright blue sky without blinking and didn't look around as they approached.

"Lily?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

She looked around then and gave him a vague smile.

"Don't worry about me, I think I just have a bug or something. How are you doing?" She raised herself onto one elbow.

James was feeling much better than Lily looked. He saw Padfoot and Moony exchanging concerned looks again. It was starting to get on his nerves.

He lowered himself to the ground beside her and the others took up spots around them, leaning back and enjoying the sun that came down, warming them.

"I'm fine. Are you sure your okay?"

"Yes, I'm sure" she replied, sounding annoyed. She sat up abruptly so that he couldn't see her face.

"I've told you, it's just the flu or something."

"I figure she's knocked up" Padfoot said jokingly. Peter elbowed him in the ribs and a long silence fell. James wished that his friends would just give them a minute to themselves.

"Lily?"

He sat up too and put a hand on her arm. A light breeze lifted her hair and it tickled gently at the back of his hand.

"Lily?" he repeated.

She turned towards him slowly, looking freaked and then her face broke into a bright smile, surprising them all.

"What-?"

"Oh my god James. Oh my god."

Lily was on her feet and the others followed suit, utterly confused. She threw her arms around his neck, laughing, and he realized with a start that she was crying too.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" she cried.

James put both hands on her shoulders and held her at arms length, staring into her face. Her eyes shone again. She looked a little insane.

"What's wrong?"

Lily was still grinning. He could see and feel his friends pressed in close beside him on either side and he knew they were equally confused and worried.

"James, I think he's right. Sirius was right."

It took him several long moments to figure out what she was talking about and to bring up the last thing he had heard his friend say.

And then they were all laughing with her. He hugged her tightly, ignoring the pain that burned in his chest. His friends were clapping him on the back and congratulating them. Padfoot gave a whoop of joy, punching the air. Moony was grinning widely, and Wormtail seemed to be bouncing up and down. James felt every bad feeling he had been experiencing melt away, all the pain, anger and concern was gone.

He was going to be a father.


	13. Fabricating a future

PlEASE R&R

* * *

Lily lay on the bed with a book open in front of her but she wasn't reading it. She could hear muffled voices carrying up the stairs and through the open doorway. Rain pelted the window, lightning flashing beyond the warmth and comfort of the indoors. She flipped the pages of the old book carelessly.

She had always loved rain. She could remember playing in it with her sister when they were children, jumping in mud puddles, wearing brightly colored galoshes, joyfully getting soaked to the bone. So long ago. It had began to rain the day that she had discovered her pregnancy and hadn't stopped in over a week. She could sense the restlessness of everyone in the house, including herself, the desire to be out there, doing something, finding their lost friend. They had heard nor seen anything of Caradoc and had all but given up hope.

Lily dropped the book to the floor where it lay dejectedly, still open on the page that she had had it on, the spine broken, the faded cover against the floor where she couldn't see it. She reached down, annoyed, slammed the book shut properly and shoved it under the bed to join the multitude of other things that she or James had been too lazy to store properly in the weeks that they had been living there. A small dust cloud emerged, disturbed from the ground, making her sneeze.

She flipped over onto her back and drew several of the lumpy pillows up under her head. She examined the gold band that James had placed on her finger several long weeks before and then with a sigh at her own impatience, she reached down and pulled up the old shirt of James' that she was wearing, only to find herself looking once again at her very flat, though tanned stomach. There was nothing like weeks on the beach to make you look as not pregnant as possible. She ran her hand over it several times but came up with nothing, no telltale signs of a baby growing inside of her. The only sigh she had was the nausea and exhaustion. Wonderful.

She heard the footsteps on the stairs but she didn't look up until they entered the room.

"Hey Lily, I was just looking for the ...uh..."

Sirius broke off midway through his sentence.

"Um, Lily?"

She didn't pull the shirt down. She ran her hand over her stomach once again and looked up at her friend.

"What do you think?" she demanded, gesturing to her body.

"Er... umm..." He glanced from side to side as if he was afraid that he was about to get caught doing something inappropriate. Lily laughed and pulled the shirt down. He looked immensely relieved.

"What were you looking for?" she asked but he seemed to have forgotten why he had come up. He crossed to the bed and spread himself out on his stomach next to her, with his legs dangling over the end. She wondered if he would ever stop growing.

"So what's up?" he asked her casually but she could hear the concern in his voice and could see it reflected in his handsome brown eyes. Once again, he seemed much more serious than his usual joking self and she realized that she missed the old Sirius, padfoot, the person that she had hated for six years. She sighed deeply and readjusted the pillows beneath her head. She didn't know what to say. Lightning flashed outside the window and the rain began to pound harder against the window. She wondered if it was possible for the water to break through the glass.

"Your worried."

He stared at her expectantly as if he had asked a question.

"The baby?"

Obviously. She didn't know that she had thought of much else since she had found out. Every possible emotion had run through her. Ecstacy, joy, excitement, panic... But she seemed to have gotten stuck somewhere between happiness and worry, closer to worry. She pulled the shirt up again, as if expecting there to have been a change in under a minute.

"There's so much danger. Too much." She paused. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"By that do you mean with the whole being a good mother thing, or the protecting the kid from evil thing?" he asked curiously.

"Everything!"

She found herself gripping at her hair like a crazy person and Sirius had to gently reach up and pry her fingers from her head before she did any damage.

"Lils" he said gently, in the voice that one would use to calm an upset child. "You'll be a great mother." He didn't say anything about the evil part of the equation but she didn't point that out, knowing there was no genuine answer that he could give her about that. She raised herself up onto one elbow and looked at him.

"I don't know anything about kids. I've never even held a baby before" she said, her eyes daring him to find ways around those issues. He just grinned and shrugged.

"No biggie. You'll figure it out. Your one of the smartest people I know. Heck, your almost as bright as me" he said jokingly. Then " Have you talked to James about this stuff?" he asked slightly uncomfortably and more seriously.

"Gee, you're so helpful" she muttered sarcastically, ignoring his question. She hadn't made any of her thoughts known to her husband because she hadn't wanted him to be anything but happy about their child. Was she sheltering him?

She grabbed a pillow from behind her and shoved it in Sirius' face. He laughed, but didn't retaliate, pulling the pillow under his chin and folding his arms under it.

"Any other major issues you need to talk about?"

"Ya. I can't exactly fight in these battles when I'm huge, can I?"

"So what?"

"So what! What am I supposed to do while you lot are all off fighting evil?"

"Learn to cook?" he suggested lightly, ducking out of the way of the blows she aimed at him. "Joking, joking! We'll figure out something, we always do, you can still be helpful" he added hastily under her glare.

"Hehem."

They both looked around to find James standing in the open doorway, arms and legs crossed, watching them with mild interest.

"It's not what it looks like, I swear!" Sirius cried dramatically. He reached over and yanked Lily's shirt back down over her ever exposed stomach, jumped up from the bed with his hands in the air and tripped over his own feet. He fell back onto the bed with a thump, bouncing the headboard against the wall and lay there, gasping for breath. Lily and James both burst out laughing.

He leapt back up more carefully and sashayed across to the door. James moved past him into the room and Sirius reached out one hand, quick as a shot, and rubbed his knuckles on his friends head. James waved him away and with a deep bow to the room at large Sirius closed the door and was gone.

Still laughing, James yanked his t-shirt up and over his head, throwing it to the ground to join the last weeks worth of clothing and took the spot that Sirius had just vacated.

"Geez, and I thought we would be married at least a year before I found you in bed with another guy."

He grinned and reached up to run a hand through his messy hair but Lily beat him to it, pushing her fingers through his dark hair. He rested his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. She watched his serene expression for a moment but Sirius had been right before. She couldn't just talk to anyone. She wanted, no she needed, to talk to him, even if he had even less idea about what they were doing than she did, it would help to talk to him. She had married him for a reason, after all.

"James, what are we doing?"

She hadn't meant for it to come out in that way and she knew it wouldn't make sense to him, out of context as it was.

He blinked a number of times, thinking, but couldn't seem to make her words fit. "Huh?"

"With this?"

She pulled up the shirt she was wearing for the third time, running her hand over her stomach again. James grinned and placed a hand over hers. He looked like a little boy at christmas time, greedy and in awe, as if he had just received the most amazing gift that he could have ever asked for, the same look that he had had for her on their wedding day. She didn't want to be the one to wipe that look from his face.

"What are we doing?" she repeated, pushing his hand away gently, so that he would focus on her face instead, and listen to what she was saying.

"What do you mean?" he asked, clearly still confused.

"I'm worried James. This could go so badly wrong. We put ourselves in danger everyday, Lord Voldemort wants us dead and we don't even have a home. Are we going to raise our child here at headquarters? Were about to have a baby for christ sake and I don't know the first thing about children. Were homeless James, homeless and were about to have a baby!"

James was staring at her bewildered and she found herself hyperventilating, the worry having expanded past the happiness to the panic level. She was repeating herself over and over again. Her body and her mind ached.

"Hey, Everything's gonna be great, trust me" James said, trying to regain his composure and catch up to her. He reached out and stroked her hair gently. "Ya, were gonna have a kid, but not yet. We have so much time to figure all this stuff out, Lils." Like Sirius, he had reverted to using her old nickname in an attempt to calm her and was speaking to her as if to a child. At least they would all have plenty of practice with that she thought bitterly, wondering if her current mood had anything to do with the pregnancy as she had never been so panicky before, never been farther from calm. She took deep, steadying breaths. James looked relieved as she began to relax.

"Listen to me, we'll figure everything out, we'll get a house with a yard to play in, and maybe a cat or something." His voice was so gentle and reassuring even though she knew he was making it all up to placate her. He pulled her close to him and she pressed her back against his warm chest, his arms encircling her, his chin resting on the top of her head as he continued to resite everything that they would accomplish and how much time they had to do it. Everything would be great.

Deeply asleep an hour late, she didn't notice him pulling gently away from her, and she didn't hear him tiptoeing quietly from the room.

****

"Lily! Lily! Wake up!"

She was being shaken, and she was ice cold and shivering. Lily groaned, turned her head, and buried her face more deeply in her pillow, simultaneously fumbling for a blanket and trying to get back to the dream she had been having, the dream that she couldn't quite remember. She cursed under her breath and opened her eyes into the pillowcase. He was still shaking her.

"I know your awake Lils" he pestered obnoxiously.

She rolled over, planted both palms on his chest and gave a shove. James hadn't been expecting it and toppled over backwards off of the bed. She returned to a sleeping position but James' fall didn't seem to get the hint across as she had intended it too.

"I've found us a house Lily" he was saying enthusiastically from the floor. "In Godric's Hollow, where I grew up. Not quite like the farm, it's just a little cottage in town. It's wonderful though, the perfect place." Then he stopped and there was a long pause. "I should have asked you if you wanted to live there" he said finally. "If you don't want to, thats fine, but you were talking about a home and I remembered and I just thought since...you know"

She groaned again, feeling slightly guilty, and sat up. He was grinning at her. He must have stayed up most of the night to get things worked out. She could tell by his bloodshot eyes, disastrous hair and five o'clock shadow that made him look like a hobo that he hadn't gotten much, if any, sleep that night.

"You found us a house?"

James nodded.

She couldn't quite conceal the joy she felt that they wouldn't be raising a child at the headquarters of the order of the phoenix. Living there short term was one thing, but making a life in the old house was quite another. She returned James' sloppy grin.

"Thats great!" she said joyously. "But can I hear about it in the morning?" she asked, fluffing one of her pillows, hoping to beat out the lumps.

James chuckled. "It is morning Babe."

She glanced around, surprised, and saw that he was right. The shades were drawn down over the one window in the room but light filtered through around the edges and she realized that she could hear birdsong outdoors. It must have stopped raining too.

" You know, you look kind of frightening right now" James said casually, still on the floor. "Your hairs sticking up all over the place and-"

He stopped talking abruptly as she lunged herself at him, pinning him to the floor.

"I still love you! And just cause your frightening doesn't mean your not still hot!" he pleaded stupidly, his voice muffled by her hair.

A pounding noise from their left made them both freeze.

" Could you lot shut up?" Peter called through the wall.

* * *

SO I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE A REALLY SHORT CHAPTER BUT IT TURNED OUT TO BE ONE OF THE LONGEST, WHICH IS WEIRD, CAUSE THERE AREN'T EVEN ANY FIGHTS OR ANYTHING. HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT. PLZ REVIEW.


	14. Gone

I'M GOING TO SEE HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE TONIGHT!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!! I KNOW THIS IS A SHORT CHAPTER, I JUST NEEDED SOMETHING DISTRACTING TO PASS THE TIME BEFORE I GO SEE THE MOVIE. IT CAME OUT YESTERDAY AND IT'S GONNA BE INSANE, BUT AWESOME!! ENJOY THIS CHAPTER. R&R

* * *

James shook his head, sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, settling in for a fight. Lily glared at him, her emerald eyes flashing dangerously.

"Lily, your pregnant, it's dangerous" he said, for the millionth time. He glanced around the room and his friends looked back at him nervously, keeping themselves out of the argument and so out of danger. Getting in Lily's way was never a good idea. She was too stubborn for her own good and knew several hexes that would leave him indisposed for days.

"So is Alice, and you don't see her sitting around doing nothing! You don't see Frank babying her. I can take care of myself and you know it."

"That's her job Lily, and it's not just about you anymore. It''s about keeping the baby safe. There'll always be more work to do, more battles to fight. I'm just asking that you stay out of it until our baby is born. Is that so much to ask?"

If looks could kill he would be long past dead. He let out another exasperated sigh, knowing what her next argument would be.

"This is _my_ job!" she cries, ignoring his feeble question.

"No it's not. And the other's agree with me."

Lily opened her mouth to retaliate, glaring at Moony, Padfoot and Wormtail in turn before returning her attention to him.

"And Dumbledore agrees with me too. You need to keep a low profile,especially while your pregnant. Especially because the death eaters would like nothing more than to torture you and kill you."

End of argument. He ran a hand through his hair. But Lily wasn't giving up. Her lips were set in a thin line. It had been years since she had last looked at him with such hatred, years since she had hated him and he had still spent every spare moment trying to get her to date him. He repressed a smile, knowing full well that it would not help the situation.

"They want to kill you too!"

She just wasn't getting it. She was pregnant with his child and everything was different. Voldemort wouldn't show her mercy because she was pregnant and he couldn't lose them. He just couldn't.

"God Lily! Do you have any idea how it would be for me if I knew you were off somewhere...and in danger, and I didn't know where you were or if you were even still alive... and the baby... and if you actually got killed? Can't you understand that?" he yelled, getting in her face, but Lily didn't even flinch, her hands balled into fists at her sides. Her face was flushed and he could only be relieved that she hadn't pulled her wand on him yet.

"Yes!" she cried, jabbing a finger at his chest, her voice matching his tone. " Yes I do understand James. What do think this is all about? This isn't about being spell happy or battle hungry, this isn't even about the order. What would I do if you were murdered. You expect me to sit here and wait for you when for all I know you've been killed-"

Her voice broke and James felt guilt and anguish pour over him. As usual she was right. He had thought she was angry about being left out of the battle, being useless to the Order but he had been wrong.

He reached out a hand towards her.

"Lily, I-"

She took a step back, out of reach and turned to leave the room.

"Whatever James" she said harshly, and then she was gone. He didn't follow.

He buried his face in his hands, put his head between his knees and took several deep, calming breaths. He was feeling overwhelmed and overworked. Why did he have to deal with this crap?

"Geez mate, were you ever wrong. You're really in for it now." Padfoot's voice sounded as if he was thoroughly enjoying himself, watching someone else getting yelled at.

He turned to his friends. "You know,I'm starting to think I'm an idiot." They all nodded sadly.

****

He found himself back out on the lawn, on the same spot where they had been when Lily had realized she was pregnant, the spot that she normally went when she wanted to be alone, to have a chance to think. It was dark and stars shone down, winking happily overhead in the open sky, but she wasn't there and she wasn't up in the old oak tree behind the house, another spot that she frequented.

He spent a good ten minutes searching in and around the yard and then went back into the house, checking room by room for any sign of his wife. Surely she had just been tired and had gone to bed early. He paused as he reached his bedroom, bracing himself for Lily's temper and the apology that he owed her. He opened the door and entered the room, fumbling in the pitch dark so as not to wake her.

His knee hit the bed frame, hard, and he couldn't help but curse loudly, holding his leg and sinking onto the mattress, clenching his teeth until the pain subsided. Then he noticed that there had been no response to his reaction. He waved his wand and the lamp on the bedside table lit up the small room.

No Lily.

He burst back through the kitchen door a minute later, making several people jump and slosh soup down their fronts. They muttered angrily as they mopped themselves up, looking tense as they took him in.

"She's gone. Lily's gone!"

Minerva let out a cry of disbelief, expressing James' own feelings. The other's jumped to their feet, prepared for anything, search or battle.

He could feel the denial pressing in on him. He knew that if anything happened to her it would be his fault. She was upset with him and she had left, with no protection and nowhere safe to go. She had put herself and their baby in danger because of a stupid fight. He was far too young to deal with these issues.

James sunk into a chair at the table and buried his face in his hands again.


	15. Home

Oh my god, the movie was so awesome. Obviously not as good as the book but still sweet. Except Tonks and Lupin were only in it for a minute but it was still great and they added a random scene that was kinda cool but wasn't in the book. It was the best movie so far I think and it was funny too. I won't say more than that so I don't ruin it for people who haven't seen it. Anyway, I know that this chapter was supposed to be from Lily's point of view but I decided that I didn't want to reveal where she was so fast so this one is from James' POV too. Next chapter will be back to Lily's POV and we'll find out what happened to her. Enjoy!

* * *

"where would she go?" Moony asked seriously. James felt his friend's hand on his shoulder but he didn't look up. He could sense the other's standing by, waiting to hear what to do, where they should look. They were looking to James for information on Lily, where she might run, where she might hide. But he didn't know.

"I don't know. I don't know where she would go."

He was angry. At himself for causing her to leave, for not knowing where she might run or even whether she would be in the muggle world or their own, and at Lily, for creating the pain and fear that he was experiencing, for her life and their child's. How could she do this to him?

"She could have just gone past the gate and gotten kidnapped or something" a light voice suggested.

He heard a smacking sound and a loud "Oi, What was that for? I was just saying..."

"Banshee's breath, Pettigrew! What is wrong with you? Why would you say something like that?" Minerva McGonagalls's voice was loud, shrill and intimidating, breaking through James' thoughts. He realized that he was holding his breath and expelled it in a sigh. He could the bile rising in his throat. Lights twinkled before his eyes as he pressed his palms into them, hard. Wormtail could be right, for all they knew. Lily may not have left of her own free will.

"She may have just gone for a walk" another voice suggested. "We should check the area."

"No, she wouldn't. She knows better than that. If she was walking around here she might draw unwanted attention. She went somewhere else."

Moony's hand was withdrawn from his shoulder and replaced by other hands, less gentle, more demanding. They shook him roughly and finally he looked up, into his best friend's face.

"We're gonna find her mate, get a grip. Don't give up before we even start looking for her. I wasn't your best man for it all to end like this. Come on!"

Padfoot dragged him to his feet. He took a deep, steadying breath just as he had after his fight with Lily and turned to Moody who was watching him with narrowed eyes.

"What do you think, Mad-Eye?"

"If the death eaters have got her than we ought to keep an eye on the one's we know of, then if they hear anything we'll hear it too. We've got a much quicker heads up than we've had before. Someone should check the area, just in case and other than it's up to you to figure out any familiar places that she might have gone. She's muggle born, which just about doubles the possibilities. We'll call in as many of the other's as possible. Wherever she is, whether the death eaters have got her or not, we'll find out about it. You better start thinking Potter."

Ten minutes late, James stood in the yard with his friends, watching as one after another the members of the order exited the fence and the safety of the fidelius charm and dissaparated on the other side with loud cracking sounds, off to every location that James had managed to pull out his head, with some help from his friends. He knew that they would be apparating everywhere from Hogsmeade to Paris and all the other places in between, including her friends homes and their old school. He didn't know if there was anywhere that she liked to go in the muggle world and he felt immensely stupid that he had never bothered to ask her about her muggle life beyond her family.

Moody turned on his way from the yard, on his way to tell Dumbledore what had happened, and to make sure she wasn't at Hogwarts and James felt the eye looking at him and through him.

"Keep you head on Potter. Constant vigilance" he said as he had a million times before. Then he tapped his temple with a nod and turned away, disappearing into the darkness beyond.

"Peter and I are going to check the area" Moony said from beside him.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the invisibility cloak, handing it over to his friend.

"Take this" he said firmly.

"Are you sure?"

"Ya, take it."

He watched the two of them disappearing beneath the shimmering fabric and a moment later the gate swung open once more as if of it's own accord and they were gone. He turned to Padfoot who stood nearby, ready to follow him anywhere.

"I want you to stay here Padfoot."

His friend's jaw dropped and his eyes narrowed.

"What are you talking about, we need to find Lily?"

"I know that. But if she comes back here someone has to be here to let us know and so that she won't freak out when the house is completely empty. Please Padfoot, I can't do, I can't just sit here and wait, I have to do something, I have to search. I know her better than anyone. At least I thought I did."

Padfoot's face was sympathetic as he nodded agreement. He clapped James on the back and pushed him towards the gate. " I'll be here. Be careful mate. And bring Lily back safe." Padfoot smiled reassuringly. "And don't beat yourself up to much about this. It's not your fault" he added.

James offered his friend a tense, but hopeful smile. If no one was able to find Lily, or if the death eaters had her, he wasn't sure that he would ever be coming back. He could no longer live in a world without Lily.

With a resounding crack he apparated in the middle of the dark street in a quiet neighborhood. Curtains and blinds had been pulled over windows, some of which were dark and other's that were light, sounds of laughter and television drifting from behind the doors and windows, where the neighbors had already settled down for a nice evening indoors. He could feel a chill in the air, perhaps marking the approach of an early winter. He could almost smell the snow that would soon cover the well kept suburban lawns and gardens. James had always liked winter, the way that it made everything white and sparkly like a christmas card, the holiday cheer, snowmen and snowballs, and then he had joined the order and winter had lost it's appeal. Snow on the ground had a different meaning for him now, making it more difficult to cover his tracks when he was following death eaters, and though it muffled many sounds it only made the possibility of being heard in the shadows more likely and it made sitting outdoors for hours on end a right pain in the ass. Snow was cold and wet and inconvenient. He was definitely not looking forward to winter.

James made his way up the street until he stood across from a nice, well kept yard with a low hedge and a small, cozy looking house sitting back from the front garden. Lights lit the windows but the curtains had been pulled into place and he could not see inside, which left him with very few options. He crossed the road, looked up and down the street to be sure that no one was watching and entered through the open gate.

He stood for a brief moment on the garden path, making up his mind and then turned off of it and stepped into the garden, under the window. If he heard Lily he would leave and wait for her at headquarters.

Muffled, indistinguishable voices made their way through the walls to his ears and he cursed silently. The only way to know whether Lily was there was to knock on the door and ask for her. He straightened his shirt self consciously, ran a hand through his hair, thought about the fact that he very badly needed to get it cut and then made his way up to the door and knocked twice.

The voices on the other side ceased and he heard hasty footsteps approaching before the doorknob turned. The door was opened so quickly that James cringed internally. As Lily's family, the people inside could be in grave danger, but their lack of security measures seemed to indicate that they were unaware of the current state of the wizarding world or the possibility that they're daughter, and they by extension were in serious danger. He realized that any muggle protection that they employed would have no affect whatsoever in hindering the death eaters if they were to come calling. He would have to check into the possibility of having security posted on the street.

Lily's mother was blonde and petite. James thought that she may have been beautiful like her daughter at one point but the years had not been kind to her and she looked older and wrinklier even than the last time that he had seen her. In fact she didn't look well at all.

"James? Whatever are you doing here?" she asked, ushering him into the warm kitchen. Her husband sat at the table beside three empty teacups and James nearly gave a whoop of delight. Who else but Lily would have been visiting so late? Mr. Evans stood to shake his hand.

"I'm so sorry to bother you. I was looking for Lily." He saw them exchange glances and hurried on, not wanting to worry them.

"She stepped out earlier but she still hasn't come back."

Mrs. Evans sunk into one of the kitchen chairs and began to cough, her chest heaving. James guessed that she was quite ill. Her husband crossed the kitchen, opened a wooden cupboard and removed a box of what he thought must be some sort of healing tablets, for the older man brought them to the table with a glass of water and gave them to his wife, who swallowed them and took several large gulps of water.

"She was here earlier. She came to see her mother as she's not well" he said, gesturing to his wife who managed to roll her eyes in a way that reminded James quite a bit of his own wife.

"I'm just fine" she countered, waving away her husband's words. "Just a cough is all. Lily was here an hour ago. She told us she was pregnant by the way. Congratulations!"

The woman's face lit up as she recalled the good news and she rose to her feet and threw her arms around her son-in-law's neck. As he hugged her back, he could feel her ribs and her spine sticking out against his hands. When they separated, she sunk back into her chair and James watched her worriedly for a few seconds before he remembered why he was really there.

"She was here? Do you know where she was headed when she left? Do you think maybe she went to see her sister?"

Mr. Evans narrowed his eyes and James saw that they were an emerald green color, reminiscent of Lily's. If he didn't get out of their house soon he was bound to go crazy. The man shook his head.

"She said she was headed home. There's no way she went to see Petunia, no way. They don't talk anymore, they hate each other. You telling us she didn't get home safely?" His fatherly voice was concerned and slightly accusatory, as if he blamed James for his daughter's hatred of each other or else because he would blame James if anything were to happen to his youngest child. James had to agree that it would indeed be his fault. Mrs. Evans simply looked sad as her husband spoke of the relationship of her two children.

"I guess I must have just missed her. I've been out for a while myself" he lied. "She's probably at home now."

Lily's parents seemed to accept his excuse and minutes later he found himself rushing down the street away from their house. He turned into a dark alley and a moment later he caught his breath as he appeared back in front of headquarters. Was it possible?

There was a cry from the yard and Padfoot came into sight and rushed towards him. "Did you find her?"

James shook his head, all hope that she had simply returned there after seeing her parents gone.

"Any news?" he asked his friend. Padfoot shook his head. "A few of 'em came back for a couple seconds just to say that they hadn't found her, then they went elsewhere. She's for sure not in Hogsmeade or at Hogwarts and she's not at any of her friends houses. They checked out your old flat too, It's still being watched by death eaters, seems they don't have much to do these days, and it was empty too. Moony and Wormtail still aren't back yet, though this is a big place so their probably still looking."

"Alright, Thanks." And without another word James turned away from his friend, exited the yard once more and disaparated, a new idea forming in his head.

Bright, desert sun blinded him a moment later and the heat blasted him through his jeans and long sleeved shirt.

The pyramid was just the same as he remembered. After the incident he had thought that Egypt had just been a dream, and then Lily had told him exactly what had happened.

There were still scuff marks in the spot that he guessed they had been before and even a little bit of dried blood, brown from exposure. He obliviated the trace with his wand and looked around him, sweat pouring from his brow. He could feel his clothing clinging to his sweat soaked skin as he swept his eyes over the landscape before him.

There were no new footprints, no figure in the distance and certainly no Lily and yet he found himself calling her name anyway, not expecting to hear an answer. He was running out of ideas and he was running out of hope. Either he didn't know Lily as well as he thought he did or else he would never see her again.

He yanked his sweatshirt up over his head and dropped it in the sand beside him, on the spot where Lily had knelt over him weeks before, before she had found out she was pregnant, before they had fought, and before he had lost her. He knelt down and spread his hands out on the ground in front of him but a moment later he let out a cry of pain and pulled away. He should have known that the sand would burn him as the sun beat down on it though it was something he didn't remember from laying in it that day, he supposed that he had been in too much pain to feel more.

He put his hands up over his face instead, to allow himself to think, to block out the light. Lily had told her parents that she was going home. Had she meant that she was going back to headquarters and then been sidetracked, perhaps kidnapped then? Or had she meant another home? What other places might Lily count as home? The only places that she had ever lived had been her parents house, their flat, Hogwarts and headquarters, all places that they hadn't found her. The only other option he could imagine was much to terrible to think about.


	16. Beyond the darkness

Lily knew that running away was immature and childish. Her parents had told her so when she was nine years old when the cat had mysteriously turned green. Petunia had cried, her parents had scolded and she had disappeared in the dead of night. They didn't understand that she couldn't control it, they didn't know anything about magic. She had made it for nearly three days living in the forest, with Severus bringing her food, the two of them spending hours on end lying beneath the stars, wondering about their futures as her parents searched desperately nearby. Just as James would have discovered she was missing and launched a search across the globe. They would all be terrified for her safety and yet she couldn't bring herself to go back. She didn't want to reassure him that she was alright and she had no intention of settling back into her life at headquarters when she was no longer permitted to take part in the activities of the order, whether it was for her own good or not. She couldn't be that person, she had never been the one to sit down and let people walk all over her, and James knew it.

She left her parents house feeling worse than she had felt to begin with. A dark desperation had settled over her as she had watched her parents, listened to them, so innocent and unsuspecting. What would they have said if she had told them she was being hunted down by the most terrible wizard in the history of the world, that they too were in danger? That it was her fault? She lingered for some time just outside her old home, circling it idly, calling up memories from a time when everything was much simpler, when she too had been innocent and naive, when magic had been mysterious and playful, a card trick or pulling a rabbit out of a hat, when evil had been an imaginary monster under the bed or in the closet, simply a bad dream.

Finally, she turned out of her parents yard and made her way slowly up the street, with no particular destination in mind, not paying attention to where her feet were leading her. She walked past the houses, past the paved roads so that the only sound she could hear was the crunching of gravel under her feet and past the fields that made up the outskirts of her hometown and into a small back wood, a place that she had known a lifetime ago, a place with a small, enchanting river and a moonlit clearing. The perfect place for two young children to grow. She sat herself down in the grass, laying back on her elbows to look up at the moon through the branches far above her head, watching the water through the trunks around her, remembering all the wonderful times they had had. She put her hand over her stomach briefly as the memories tore at her conscious, the feeling of abandonment and betrayal fresh in her mind. "Don't ever trust a Slytherin" she said aloud, to no one in particular, or perhaps to her child, the note of bitterness in her voice clear even to her.

****

She knew it was a stupid, unnecessarily dangerous thing to do. Every fiber of her being screamed at her to turn around, to go back to safety, to stop being so thick, but her feet were foolishly ignoring her mind, her body restless for excitement.

She had followed the river that wound through the trees and out into a meadow that was quite beautiful in her memories but it had changed drastically in the time since she had last been there, the green grass had died and the ground was littered with useless muggle debris that overflowed the banks of the widening river. A small hill stood above her to one side and beyond it she could see a large brick chimney, the only remains of an old mill that had towered over the town below.

Minutes later she found herself ducking through a gap in a rusty railing at the edge of a dark lane. Houses with boarded windows stood to either side, abandoned. The remaining streetlights created pools of light halfway down the street, giving a break to the eery darkness that lay like a veil over everything in sight. An owl hooted in the distance and Lily shivered, pulling her cloak tightly around her as she wound her way through the empty streets, skirting through alley's and desolate yards.

Who in their right mind voluntarily goes to the home of a death eater? What kind of self destructive, disaster of a human being puts themselves and their unborn child in such danger? She ignored the frustrated thoughts circling in her mind as she neared her destination. Spinner's end.

The old house was dark and dilapidated with age, years of neglect and indifference having left it looking little better than the abandoned houses next door. She stopped as she reached it, unsure beyond that point. She had had no plan to talk to Severus, to hope that after all the intervening years he wouldn't immediately turn her over to his master, become a hero for killing the mudblood that even Bellatrix couldn't get. She had known all along that he was no longer the friend that she had once known, that she had cared about, and yet something had brought her to his home, a feeling that all was not lost, a memory of a recent fight, when he had seen her face and lowered his wand, making himself vulnerable to his enemy. To protect _her_? Or had it merely been an accident, a hesitation before he struck her down?

She couldn't breath, her chest constricting painfully, her eyes filled with unexpected tears. She lowered her head between her knees and stood like that, eyes squeezed shut tight for a long moment, desperate and afraid, taking deep, shuddering breaths, trying to calm herself. A sudden feeling of being watched made her straighten up and look around but all she saw was a dark tabby cat streaking between two houses on the other side of the road. What was she doing? She realized suddenly just what being there meant and how vulnerable she really was. It didn't matter that Severus had refrained from killing her one time. The fact remained that he was a death eater, that he represented everything that was evil and corrupt in the world, that he hated her kind. She didn't need him when she had James and their child, she had her friends and her parents and the order. Severus was part of her past but she had no intention of having him in her future. She didn't know why she had come, but she knew that she had to leave and never come back.

It was then that she removed the photograph from the deep pocket of her cloak. Years of being folded and unfolded had left a rough crease down the center, keeping the two occupants separated. She looked down at the photo of her younger self, with her dark red hair gleaming in the september sunlight, laughter on her lips. And the younger Severus, looking happy and carefree as they smiled and waved up at the real Lily, the Hogwarts express standing in the background, waiting to transport them to their fifth year of school, neither of them knowing that it was the year that everything would change and she would realize that her best friend saw her as just another mudblood. She wondered how many of her kind Severus had tortured and murdered for Voldemort in the time since she had counted him as an ally.

A distant cracking sound made her jump and swivel in the direction of the open street but the sound was far away and once again all she saw was darkness. With a sudden surge of anger she raised her wand and held the tip of it to the edge of the old photograph. She no longer had tears in her eyes as she watched the small blue flame engulf the picture, as the smiles melted from the faces of the small figures and then their faces melted altogether and the picture crumbled in her hand, the ashes slipping through her fingers and falling to the doorstep beneath her feet.

Lily sighed and turned away. She had spent more than enough time standing in the dark street, an easy target for comers and goers. She glanced at the old house once more, swearing to herself that she would never come again. She took a step back and turned on the spot. With a crack that echoed down the deserted street she disappeared, just as the drapes in a window two floors above her head were pulled back and a set of dark eyes gazed curiously down on the empty street below.


	17. One hit after another

James felt the solid ground beneath his feet and straightened up, adjusting his glasses and running his hand through his hair. From where he stood he could see the dawn light coming up over the mountains in the distance, birds were waking high above him and the hush that lay over the village would soon be broken by the inhabitants of the houses below. Winter had begun to show itself here as well. A familiar chill hung in the air around him and frost had covered the trees and grass.

He had apparated on the hill above Godric's Hollow, the spot from which he had once frequently kept an eye out, the spot on which the marauders had sat on the morning of his wedding. It seemed so long ago to him.

Lily had been missing for more than seven hours. Would it be like with Caradoc's disappearance? Would they just never see or hear from her again? They wouldn't know if she was dead or alive, if she was being tortured. She would just be gone.

He bit into his lower lip and tasted blood. He knew where she was. She had to be here, it was too soon to give in to useless emotions. He turned and looked down on the house where he had grown up. His mother would be waking soon and it would be a new day. The lights were still out and it was obvious that Lily wasn't there just as he had expected though it left him with only one last option before he would have to assume the worst.

He glanced back at the woods behind him and set off down the steep hill, away from his mother's house, towards the town. They would have their own house there, the house that he had promised her, shown her. She had been delighted. They would raise their family there and they could still do work for the order. SImple.

He entered the familiar town square, across from the church and the small, cozy graveyard where most of his ancestors were buried, where his own father had been layed to rest. The muggle war memorial was at the center of the square, surrounded by the small shops and homes that were custom in such a small town. Several empty glass bottles stood next to the door of the dingy pub.

James turned and made his way down the street, out of the village in the opposite direction from his old home. He could just make out the point ahead where the town ended, giving way to open countryside. He passed the other cottages quickly, glancing for only a moment at Bathilda's dark home and beyond that the cottage that he now knew to be the place where Dumbledore had grown up. He finally reached the house at the very end, the one that he himself had chosen when Lily had told him she wanted to leave headquarters. It was an attractive little house, surrounded by low hedges and a small gate. Ivy grew up the side of the far wall, curling over the kitchen window and climbing towards the sky.

His heart sank as he took in the house even as he pushed through the gate and made his way up the path and the steps to the front landing. The windows were dark and the door was locked. He tapped his wand against the door and it swung open, revealing the dusty interior as he had last seen it. No footsteps broke the grit on the long untouched floor. He waved his wand and the dust was obliterated, leaving the floors shining, the walls clean and homey looking. He stepped inside and made his way silently up the stairs and through the house, checking every room but not calling out. There was little doubt that Lily was not there.

There was nothing left. He found himself in what would have been their living room, but was empty of furniture. There were no photos on the wall and no toys on the floor. They would have had a child, perhaps more than one, a real family. Everything that he would have had, everything that he had been working for from the moment that he had first asked Lily Evans out on a date, back when he had been cocky and arrogant, back when she had hated him. It was all gone, replaced with a pain and sorrow beyond what he had ever experienced. He would never see his wife again, he would never meet his child.

He fell to his knees in front of the empty fireplace and buried his face in his hands. He was shaking uncontrollably, from anger and anguish and fear. Hatred burned through him. He was rocking back and forth. There was no longer any meaning to his life.

And so he didn't hear the door open and close. He didn't hear the footsteps on the floor behind him or the light gasp that escaped from the woman's lips when she saw him there.

It wasn't until he felt an arm go around his shoulders and a soft hand gripping his arm that he realized that he wasn't alone.

He took a long moment to collect himself before he looked up. He felt heat on his face and the sound of flames crackling in the fireplace reached him through the cloud that was gathering in his thoughts.

The first thing he saw when he raised his head was a sheet of dark red hair over a pale face as she kneeled on the ground beside him and his breath caught in his throat. Could it be?

"James? James, I'm sorry!" It was. He could smell her hair, he could feel the chill from her bare skin. The hand disappeared from his arm and her hair was pushed back from her face, behind her ear, revealing her flushed cheeks. She looked up and her eyes met his, gleaming with tears, the bright emerald eyes that he thought he would never see again.

He couldn't believe it. "Lily?! Are you alright?"

"Ya. James."

He pulled her to him and buried his face in her silky red hair, clinging to her for a long moment until he felt her hands on his face and she pulled away very slightly so that they were still so close that he could feel her breath on his face and see every fleck in her luminous eyes. Her hands cupped his face as she gazed at him.

"James?"

"Don't ever do that again!" he replied sharply, leaning his forehead against her's, staring into her green eyes. "I thought you were dead."

****

"You were right. This is a great house" Lily said, shifting her head on his shoulder. James pushed his back up against the wall and leaned his head against it, closing his eyes and adjusting his arm around Lily's shoulders. "Uh huh." He could barely remember the last time he had slept, two nights before, the day before Lily had run away.

"Where did you go yesterday after you left your parents?"he asked.

He felt her stiffen under his arm and he opened his eyes to watch her expression. She looked apprehensive.

"Nowhere important." He didn't press her.

"Why did you go? We should have talked more, at least after we calmed down. You scared the hell out of everybody."

She grimaced."I know, I'm so sorry, I needed a break. I can't just do nothing James, I get restless."

"I didn't notice" he replied sarcastically.

"I needed a minute to remind myself why I was doing this. And that I was capable of doing this."

"Do you have what you want Lily?" he asked softly, surprised by her answer and gaging her reaction to the question. She turned to look at him, to understand just what he meant.

"Yes! I swear, this is what I want. I love you. I love what we do and I love this!" She swept her hand around the room and settled the hand on her belly. Something lifted inside of him, something that had settled when he had found out that Lily had chosen to run away.

"I just need a minute to remember that sometimes. Things change really fast and I just need to process it."

"Like you and me?"

Lily chuckled."Sort of. Remember when I didn't like you?"

"You mean remember when you thought I was an arrogant, stuck up show off, right?"

"No, I never thought that. I knew it."

"Nice one."

"Did you know that my sister is pregnant too? Two months ahead of me. My parents told me last night." She looked down at her stomach and sighed, folding her hands together in her lap.

"Well gee, I bet our kids are going to be best friends" James said, gaining a smile.

"Just curious, If I wasn't happy would you let me go?" Lily asked. He noticed that she clutched at his arm tightly as she asked the question.

He smiled. "Sorry. I'm not selfless enough. I would just hope you got over it. I worked too long and too hard, I can't give you up now."

"Huh."

He heard the door open and Padfoot and Moony appeared around the corner, carrying a couch between them with several boxes balanced on top, both of them with their wands out, luggage floating in the air alongside them.

"You two having fun then?" Padfoot asked sarcastically, kicking James in the foot with a dragon scale toed boot as they passed by and shoved the couch up against the far wall. James grimaced.

" Get the bed next, would you? It goes upstairs, room on the left" Lily said deadpan, with a gleam in her eye. Padfoot rolled his eyes and reached out a hand. James took it and allowed his friend to drag him to his feet.

"I'll help Lily put this stuff in the kitchen if you two get the rest" Moony suggested, gesturing to the boxes that had fallen to the floor.

James pulled on his coat and followed Padfoot out the door and down the steps into the yard. The sun was low in the sky and he felt the first snowflakes fall on his head as they dragged the rest of the first load into the house.

"How did Wormtail get out of this?" Padfoot grumbled as they worked. James shrugged. "He made himself scarce. Haven't seen him all day." They dropped the last item at the bottom of the stairs and turned to go.

"Lily, were going to get the rest of it" he called.

A barely audible response came from the vicinity of the kitchen and James followed Padfoot's dissaparation, appearing a moment later in the lane in front of headquarters. They stopped in at the kitchen briefly, where several members of the order sat around the table in light conversation, having just woken up from their recovery of the long search the night before. He knew that Lily was feeling guilty about the disruption she had caused for the order, though he didn't know what else she had expected. The others greeted them heartily but refused their invitations to help with the move.

Twenty minutes later James was back in his own front yard with his old Hogwarts trunk stuffed with books. Sirius appeared beside him with more boxes and they lugged the lot between them up to the house and into the front room which was steadily filling up with the crap that they didn't yet have a location for.

"Lily, were back!"

" Lily? Moony?!"

He pushed his way through the door into the kitchen and found himself walking on broken glass and kicking aside overturned boxes. He spun from the room and collided with Padfoot, coming from the other direction, a look of panic on his friends face to match his own.

"Their not here Padfoot!" he said desperately as they crashed into each other and the door frame. A strange sense of deja vu was settling over him and he was getting really tired of it.

"Prongs, we forgot because Lily was gone. It's full moon!"


	18. Transformations

So it's been awhile but I got around to writing the next chapter. Had a Harry Potter marathon yesterday. They're all so little in the first movie and I miss the old Dumbledore actor, too bad he died. So I actually looked up the moon phases from 1979 for this chapter so I could put the actual day and they actually have them on the internet. And I just realized how cool I am for doing that but I don't care. Enjoy.

* * *

They had minutes. If that. One slight shift of the merciful cloud cover overhead would kill her.

Lily could feel his arm shivering violently under her hands as they hurried along the road away from Godric's Hollow and she knew that it wasn't from the cold. She could feel the anxiety and fear through his skin and his cloak. Sweat beaded his brow and like her, he stared up at the sky as they stumbled forward. He would control himself for as long as possible but they both knew that if she couldn't get him safely away, and then get herself away from him, Remus would never be able to forgive himself.

How could they have forgotten that december third was full moon?

But even as she wondered she knew that it was her fault. If she hadn't run away, if they hadn't all been preoccupied with her own safety than Remus would have been safely hidden away somewhere, perhaps with his three best friends keeping him company, with no worries that someone might get killed, no danger's to Lily and the other villagers, or even to Remus himself.

She tripped on the gravel road and went down on one knee. Remus caught her and hauled her back up with difficulty, his muscles tensed.

"Lily, you have to leave me. Go back!"

His voice was desperate, his eyes frightened at what he was capable of doing, but also of being left alone. And if she did leave him? There was no knowing what could happen. If the werewolf was to turn back to the village it would be horrific.

But if she stayed?

"I can't! I have to get you away from here!"

"Lily, I can't hurt you!" His voice broke, the fear overwhelming it. "How could I have forgotten?" He tore at his hair in frustration and worry. "If you don't go I could kill you!"

They were wasting precious time. She grabbed his arm once more and again began to pull him towards the trees that seemed so very far away and held no guarantee of safety. What seemed like miles of open countryside stretched between them and the allusion of safety. They continued to run, but Lily noticed that Remus was slowing, his muscles tightening convulsively beneath her grip as he fought to contain the beast within. He was fighting for control, but if the clouds were to shift then it would be no good.

" Remus, Can you apparate?" she asked, hopeful that the situation could be easily resolved, but he shook his head. "Not like this. It's impossible. I'm just barely human."

"We could do side-along. " Her voice rose an octave as she spoke. "Go to the shreaking shack or somewhere secluded- "

"No, It's too dangerous. We might have time here because of the clouds but if we were to apparate somewhere else we may not! We can't risk it. You have to go back, Lily. There's nothing you can do for me. You have to protect yourself."

She ignored the comment, knowing they were both wishing that Padfoot and Prongs would come, the only way to ensure that no human's were in danger. Hopefully they would be back at the house soon, they would realize what had happened.

She shivered as the icy winter wind tore through her light clothing. Snowflakes dotted Remus' hair and clothing and her own.

"We have to keep moving" she told him determinedly, looking around, back towards the trees that they were aiming for. She knew that there was no way that they would make it but she would take him as far as she could and then she would apparate to safety and find James and Sirius. if only she too were an animagus.

She felt Remus' arm go rigid in her hands and she looked back at his face, seeing her own look of horror reflected in his dark eyes. They looked up at the sky simultaneously as dim moonlight fell over the countryside around them, throwing shadows over her friends face. Their time had officially run out.

"Remus?" she asked cautiously.

"Lily, GO!"

He yanked his arm from her grip and shoved her away as his limbs began to shake. "GO!"

But she could barely manage to back away as she stared at him, transfixed. She had never witnessed his transformation before and it was so mesmerizing, so different, so much more than all the times that she had seen James and Sirius becoming their animal selves, because the thing that he was becoming was no longer Remus in any way.

His head and body had begun to lengthen. His shoulders were hunching. Hair was sprouting from his skin, his hands and feet curling into clawed paws as the werewolves body burst from his clothing. There was no hint of the man in the small, round, shiny black eyes that squinted at her menacingly. The creature reared, snapping it's long jaw, revealing long, sharp fangs and letting out a hair raising snarl of animalistic fury. She froze, unable to run and unable to reach for her wand.

"LILY!"

The sound of hurried footsteps and pounding hooves reached her ears. She managed to stumble backwards a few more steps and turned just in time to see Sirius transforming, just as a large stag tore past her, nearly knocking her off her feet as it face the threat, drawing the werewolves attention away from it's intended prey. Prongs reared momentarily onto his back legs, forcing the larger animal to back away slightly, growling low in it's throat as the stag advanced, antlers lowered threateningly.

She felt something yanking the back of her shirt and she turned to see the big, bear like dog, with it's teeth sunk into the fabric of her clothing, attempting to drag her away from the animals as they faced off in the middle of the lane. Padfoot released her and motioned his large, shaggy head towards the village and the relative safety that it offered. She had to go. Padfoot and Prongs were perfectly capable of handling the situation. There was nothing left for her to do.

The dog left her side and joined his friend, herding the werewolf towards the trees that Lily had been aiming for. The snow began to fall thicker and faster as she watched them go, arms crossed over her chest, but she barely noted the cold or the swirling crystals around her. As the trio reached the shelter of the trees she saw the stag pause and look back at her, standing tall, waiting. She watched him for a beat, then she waved and dissaparated.

An instant later she stood at the hedge around her home. She spun on and stared out over the country lane where she had just been standing, that she couldn't even make out through the snow and the forest beyond but there was nothing to see. Even if Prongs hadn't already followed Padfoot into the trees the snow was falling too thick for her to see much of anything. In the sky the moon was just barely distinguishable through the heavy downfall.

The door to the cottage hung open on it's hinges, the falling snow swirling into the house and melting in the warm air before even managing to settle on any surface. She slammed the door shut for no reason, though it made her feel slightly better and threw the locks into that it made any difference. Anyone who came to Godric's Hollow looking for them would not be hindered by the kind of locks that muggles used and yet she felt safe there anyway. No one knew they were there who shouldn't and the cozy house seemed so far beyond the part of her world where death eaters lingered, where she was in any danger, where death was not only a possibility, but a probability for those who chose to defy the dark lord.

She stepped over the boxes and luggage in the entrance hall and moved through the living room, creating a warm, crackling fire with a wave of her wand. The magical blue flames flickered merrily, throwing heat that penetrated her thin, sodden clothes.

She dug through a trunk that had been abandoned at the foot of the stairs and found a pile of clothing buried under a great many books. She ignored everything else, switched out her jeans and shirt for a pair of James' sweatpants and one of his t-shirts and curled up on the couch in front of the fire, listening to the whistling wind beyond the walls and the crackling of the flames.

****

She heard a door slam and brisk footsteps crossing the floor. A burst of cold air hit her face and she turned her head deeper into the pillow, attempting to get back to her dream.

"Shove over."

Lily felt her legs being nudged unceremoniously out of the way to make room for someone else on the couch. "Leave her alone, Padfoot" she heard James say.

She yawned and stretched, opening her eyes and throwing her legs back, over Sirius' lap. He groaned. She glanced around and noticed faint sunlight struggling to light up the room as the snowstorm continued to rage against the daylight. Snow drifts had piled themselves high against the window and over everything in sight through the frosted front window. It was almost beautiful if not for the cold.

James sat with his back up against the couch just beside her head and Remus stood over the fire wearing an old, rather ragged looking cloak, staring into the flames. They were all soaking wet, radiating a chill throughout the room that sent a shiver up her spine. She unfurled herself from the couch cushions and sank to the floor, curling into James' welcoming arms. He sighed with relief as he pressed his icy palms against her bare skin, burying his flushed face against her neck, making her gasp as if someone had put ice down her shirt..

"Mmm!" he said.

"Oh, you don't mind then?"

She turned to look at Sirius just as he stretched out his legs and pressed his bare feet against her other arm. With an angry hiss she snatched up one of his abandoned shoes and shucked it at his head. He laughed, dodging the missile and jumping to his feet.

"I'm starved. Nothing like an adventure and a little danger to get my appetite going."

James pulled away and stood, following his friend into the kitchen in search of something filling. She followed him to his feet but crossed the room to stand next to Remus, holding her hands out over the warming fire and glancing sideways at her friend. He was a mess.

"You look like crap."

He gave a small smile and ran a hand over his face.

"I've looked worse." He reached out a hand and touched her arm lightly as if he was afraid she might pull away.

"Lily, thank you. You put yourself, and the baby in danger to get me to safety. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't been there, I wouldn't have been able to control myself for so long on my own and I probably would have killed someone." He paused and shut his eyes for a moment. Lily noticed the dark circles under them, the pale tone of his skin. She reached out and squeezed his hand tightly, reassuringly.

"And I could have killed you. James and Sirius told me what happened. I shouldn't have been so stupid, I should never have let that happen. I'm so sorry Lily. If they hadn't shown up when they did..." He shook his head. "I could have killed you" he repeated softly.

* * *

Didn't know how to end this so it kind of just stops. Next chapter should be coming pretty soon.


	19. Vulnerable

"I don't know why you have to be so stubborn all the time. It's so frustrating" he announced, dropping the large book he was holding onto the coffee table with a loud, dramatic thump. Across from him, Lily held up one finger, her lips moving as she sped read through the last few lines on the page of her own book. He sighed impatiently, fingers drumming on the arm of his chair as he watched her. A minute later she closed the large, leather bound volume and looked up at him with a small smile and narrowed emerald eyes.

"I get the feeling were not talking about the same thing anymore."

He gave another sigh. " Yes we are. Everything else is another matter entirely that we won't get into right now. It's impossible."

"I've told you already. I am one hundred percent certain" and she opened the book again pointedly. She lay it across her lap and returned to what she was doing, but James wasn't about to give up that easily.

"And there's nothing wrong with that. I just don't think it would hurt to have the backup, just in case, in the slight chance that you have no idea what you're talking about and you turn out to be wrong."

It was Lily's turn to sigh. "We've talked about this."

"Yes, and each time you've shot me down. Maybe we should try a different approach and actually hear what I have to say."

Another sigh, more drawn out and dramatic. "It's really not necessary. I promise."

"You could just humor me you know."

She glared at him. "But I assumed that you would be happy about this."

"Hey. I don't care if it's a boy or a girl!" James said, making Lily replace the glare with a smile. "As long as they can play quidditch" he added rather smuggly. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Figures. But I know it's going to be a boy. Okay?"

"Fine. But don't you think we should maybe just have a girls name picked out just in case so were not scrambling in the hospital? Just one?"

"But we haven't even thought up a boy's name yet."

"No, I know, but I thought maybe we could come up with both, to be prepared."

Lily's patronizing smile told him quite plainly that she thought they were wasting their time. "How about you pick out a girl's name you like and we'll go with that."

James grinned. "You'll be sorry" he said menacingly, but she wasn't listening. He looked up to find her with her nose buried in her book once more.

The door opened with a crash, letting in a gush of cold air and a pair of excited voices. James could hear his friends talking as they pulled off their boots and cloaks and came shuffling into the living room to huddle around the magical fire, damp and bedraggled.

"What's new?" James asked them. He had begun to hold his breath each time that he asked the question, expecting bad news. Padfoot turned and shook his head wildly like a dog, spraying everyone with droplets of melted snow. Water kit the flames, sizzling on impact and James took a step back, out of his friends way. Padfoot settled himself on the arm of that couch that Lily was occupying, leaning back against the wall, hands folded behind his head.

"Nothing major to tell." He tugged at a loose thread on his sleeve and rolled it between his fingers. "Oh. Moony and I are moving into headquarters. Were there so often there's no point living somewhere else and it's only a matter of time until the death eaters would be at our place anyway. Since you two've vacated there's just enough space available." The thread disintegrated in his hand and he leaned forward and turned his palm over the fire.

"Your in my light" Lily said shortly and a moment later James was chuckling appreciatively as his friend lay on the floor, looking dazed. "You could have just asked" he grumbled. Lily shrugged and returned to her book.

Another gust of icy air swept through the room and they all jumped as the door slammed, shaking the windows. James, Lily and Padfoot joined Moony on their feet, wands out, though it should have been clear who would enter a house in such a manner, and it certainly wasn't a death eater. Wormtail appeared in the doorway a moment later, still decked out in his winter apparel and looking immensely cold but excited, clutching an odd looking letter in his hand.

"You've gotten a letter!" he announced. James and the others glanced at each other, sharing looks of mocking incredulity and disbelief. "By muggle post!" he added. "It's got an address and a little sticker thingy and everything" he said, indicating the front of the envelope, the numbers written across it and the stamp in the top, right-hand corner.

This caught their interest as none of them, with the possible exception of Lily, had ever received a letter in such an odd way, and it was indeed Lily's name that was written in curly letters on the front of the envelope, just above the address of the house, which James hadn't known himself.

They all huddled around Lily, enthralled, as she split the envelope and pulled out a piece of perfectly folded white parchment, marred only by the perfectly straight, curly writing that matched the name and address and made up the single paragraph on the parchment. James had barely glanced over his wife's shoulder and caught a glimpse of this and of the signature at the bottom, _Petunia_, before Lily gave a dry sob, her knees buckled and she sank to the floor, the letter slipping from her fingers. Every hand reached for her as she went down and James knelt beside her. He could just make out the writing on the parchment in the flickering light from the fire as she buried her face against his chest.

_Lily;_

_It is with great sadness that I write to you with the news that our dear mother has passed away on the evening of december 18th 1979. Her funeral will be held tomorrow at St. Augustine's church where she will also be laid to rest and I regret that this letter will probably not have reached you in time that you will be able to attend. I hope that it will give you some comfort to hear that I was with her when she died and that she passed away peacefully, surrounded by her family. I should also warn you that our dear father is not taking her death well. He has come to stay with Vernon and I for the time being and I am taking care of him, as a good and grateful daughter should. In time I hope that he will recover from this terrible loss that I share._

_Petunia_

The letter ended so abruptly that James reached out and turned it over but there was of course nothing written on the back and the signature at the end of the paragraph stated quite clearly that there was no more to say. Fury burned through him for his sister in law and the horrible letter. How dare she? He looked up at his friends and the mingled looks of anger and concern on each face told him that they too had read it. He remembered the last time that he had seen Lily's mother and how ill she had been, but he was sure that no one had expected this so soon.

Sometime later James sat on the couch, Lily's head in his lap, her eyes closed as she slept, dried tear tracks leading down her flushed cheeks. He stroked her hair gently. All eyes remained on the letter that still lay where it had fallen, no one speaking.

Moony and Padfoot both moved for the parchment at the same time but Moony reached it first, fishing it from the floor and tearing it savagely into several pieces with shaking hands, adding them to the fire. Padfoot compromised by retrieving the envelope instead, more fuel for the dazzling flames. They continued to watch in silence as the letter burned and disappeared, becoming nothing. Lily shifted her head in James' lap and he heard her mutter something in her sleep.

****

"Happy Christmas!" James found himself repeating again and again as he made the rounds of the large room, Lily at his side, accepting greetings, congratulations and condolences from their friends. Most of the order had gathered at headquarters for the holiday dinner.

Wonderful smells had greeted them upon their arrival, goose and ham and all the other various dishes that were associated with christmas, reminding him that they were expected at his mother's the next day for another dinner.

Even Dumbledore was in attendance, sitting at the head of the table, rising to greet them as they entered. "I'm so sorry about your mother" he said to Lily, and for a long moment he seemed more vulnerable and human than James had ever known him to be. He squeezed Lily's hand, giving her a long, searching look and then he pulled away and became the familiar Dumbledore again.

A minuscule christmas tree had been set up on a corner table to give the pretense of the holiday as they gathered around to eat but James knew that he wasn't the only one to notice that the atmosphere was anything but light. So many recent deaths and failures hung over them all like a cloud, making for the most subdued, serious christmas party that he had ever attended, as the members ignored all attempts at christmas spirit, conversing darkly up and down the crowded table, sharing the latest news. More dark marks, death threats and disasters up and down the country and around the world.

"I hear he attacked another child" Dedalus Diggle was saying to Lily in his high squeaky voice that carried around the table despite that fact that he was speaking in a lowered voice. Several people went still and James felt his friends arm go tense close by, his knuckles white around his goblet, but Dedalus hadn't noticed the reaction to his words and continued.

"The little girl's parents refused to join the death eaters so Fenrir Greyback was sent. I'm afraid the child didn't make it, died in the hospital."

James felt Lily's hand slide into his as she listened, her other hand folding over the bump that was barely discernible beneath her shirt. He knew exactly what was on her mind.

"It's probably better that she died."

He was shocked to hear his friend say it and turned to see the distraught, haunted look on Moony's face.

"No, Moony. And I know that you don't regret that you lived. You can't."

His friend shook his head, eyes dark. "If I had killed him then that little girl would have lived. I should have done it right."

They both knew that he was wrong. If it hadn't been death by werewolf attack it would have been something else. The girl's parents would do anything for Voldemort after that, afraid for the safety of their remaining children.

James looked up and found Dumbledore watching him, not looking away as their eyes met.

"Are the others on duty?" James asked Moody across the table, averting his gaze. He could not have been the only one to notice the absences in the group. Frank and Alice Longbottom were nowhere to seen.

Moody's normal eye turned to look at James, the other pointing into the side of his head. He nodded once in response to the question, speared a steaming potato with a fork and took a long sniff before dropping it onto his plate. His magical eye swiveled down to stare at it.

"You probably know we've been working on Voldemort's location?" he grunted. "Well, we might have a fix."

"So, surveillance?" James asked reluctantly, not in the mood to talk about anymore Voldemort related issues. It was christmas after all. Where was the mistletoe and presents and cheer? He felt Lily's head on his shoulder.

"Yup" Moody answered, taking a swallow from his hip flask.

"Fun night for it" James said sarcastically.

* * *

Oh dear;)


	20. The ugly ginger kitten

I only found out a little while ago that the Prewett's were Molly's brothers so I had to use it. Enjoy.

* * *

"Have you ever had a pet?"

Lily blinked. "Sorry?"

The red haired brothers grinned at each other.

"How do you know you can take care of a kid?" Fabian asked. "Especially if you've never even kept a pet alive."

"I think we'll manage" she retorted, one hand over her stomach. She glanced around and saw James across the room, talking with Benjy Fenwick. How hard could it possibly be to take care of a baby?

"Our sister Molly, she's got five boys already and she's pregnant again. I think she's holding out for a girl. I don't know how she does it." Gideon added, shaking his head admiringly.

He draped an arm around her shoulders and handed her a goblet. Anyway, we'd best be off" he said, eyes on the door as the end of Emmeline Vance's cloak disappeared around the corner. "Happy Christmas!" Both brothers gave deep bows and swept from the room one after the other.

Lily sighed, downed the contents of the goblet and placed it, empty, on a side table. She wished that Alice were there, or someone else who understood just how nervous she was about her first child. She wished that her mother was still alive to talk to, to offer the comfort that only a mother could give. Advice, help, reassurance. Her mother would never have the chance to meet her son. She found herself staring into the flames of a dwindling candle.

"Hey."

She turned and found James standing behind her, looking concerned.

"Are you okay?"

"I think we should get a cat" she told him decidedly.

James froze with his own goblet halfway to his lips, a bemused smile playing across his face. "Umm. Why is that?"

" Because we don't know how to keep things alive and we need to practice."

" Lily, I really don''t think-"

"Third year. Your mandrake died from overfeeding. Mine would have if Mary hadn't helped me. Not our best. Fourth year, Care of magical creatures, you were put in charge of keeping the flobberworms alive over the holidays and they all disappeared. Not a good track record. And how is that even possible?" she asked him. She had always wondered what had become of the poor creatures.

James grinned mischieviously. "I needed them for something."

"I'll bet you did" she replied, rolling her eyes.

"Why don't we just keep Padfoot or Wormtail as a pet. If they're still alive after a few months then we'll know we can do it."

" I don't want a pet that's gonna try to sneak into the room while I'm changing."

James grinned.

The door opened and the room fell silent, every person turning towards the new arrivals. Lily took a step forward.

Alice and Frank stood in the doorway, looking ruffled and exhausted but otherwise unharmed. Snow clung to their torn, wet clothing and they were covered in dirt and debris. Frank looked as if he had been briefly set on fire, his hair and sleeves singed. Alice looked as if she was about to be ill and sunk into one of the chairs that had been pushed up against the wall to make room.

Dumbledore stepped forward to greet them.

"it was a set up!" Frank announced to the room. "Voldemort was nowhere to be seen, and the death eaters were waiting for us. We only just got away unscathed."

Muttering and questions irrupted from the other members but Dumbledore held up a hand and silence fell.

Frank continued. "They knew exactly where we were. There were dozens of them too. The Lestranges, Dolohov, Snape. I don't know who else, there were too many of them."

Lily felt James' arm circling her waist possesively at the mention of Severus Snape, his chest warm against her back. She didn't pull away.

****

"A cat? Well you've come to the right place then. We've got young ones and old ones, whatever you like" the witch told them pleasantly. Lily watched as Peter held out a hand to a big, fluffy black cat that sat, grooming itself on the counter. It gave his hand a sniff, arched it's back and growled low in it's throat, all it's hair standing up as it watched him hungrily.

Peter scurried away quickly, putting James and Lily between himself and the animal. The witch looked confused. "Thats odd. She's one of the nicest cats you would ever meet." She told them, puzzled.

James grinned and gave Lily a sideways glance, eyebrows raised. "Maybe we'll go with a younger one then" he suggested.

"Alright. I've go them all in a back room, not enough space out here. Two new litters, only about eight weeks old. Follow me."

"Coming Peter?" Lily asked innocently. The small man shook his head furiously, small, beady eyes focused on the big, black cat on the counter that had returned to it's grooming.

"I think I'll stay out here thanks."

"Suit yourself."

"Here we are then."

The small, dimly lit room was filled with mewing kittens, gamboling around the room, pouncing playfully at each other. They stopped the instant that Lily and James entered and surrounded their legs, purring and doing tricks that only a magical animal could do and attempting to lure the new people into buying them. Half of the kittens were brightly colored calico's with short hair and perky tails and ears. The other litter was ginger, with long hair and longer legs that made it difficult for them to hold up their bodies and their large heads. They were greater in number than the calico kittens and they didn't look much like cats at all.

"We think that the ginger one's might be part kneazle" the witch told them, confirming Lily's suspicion. "They look a bit odd but it's makes for a more intelligent creature and a longer life span." It sounded as if the witch had repeated this several times and had all but given up hope of ever selling the odd looking cats. "I'll leave you to decide then."

James laughed and Lily looked around as he scoped up one of the ginger cats.

"How about this one?" he asked, clearly amused, turning it for her to see.

Lily bit her lip as the cat gazed at her indifferently. It's fur was thick and fluffy and it was definitely more bow legged than it's brothers and sisters. But it was the cat's face that made it stand out from the others. It was grumpy and oddly squashed, as though it had run headlong into a brick wall. She smiled.

"I don't think so."

James dropped the kitten and they watched as it wound it's way back among it's siblings. Lily reached down and picked up one of the calico kittens and it began to purr instantly, rubbing it's head against her neck and gazing up at her with wide eyes.

"I like this one. What do you think?"

James shrugged. "Whatever you want. It's your birthday. I still like that ginger one though. High entertainment value."

"But thats what I have you for."

* * *

What if someone else had bought Crookshanks? What if Lily and James had actually decided to buy him? A lot of things would be different. Maybe Harry would have never have met Sirius. Maybe Peter would still be Ron's pet rat and Voldemort would have had no one to help him with his plan and so he would never have risen again. huh.


	21. Rosier and Wilkes

So I know that the last chapter was fairly uneventful. My cousin has a calico cat named Weasley and it just reminded me that the Potter's were supposed to have a cat too. This chapter should be much more exciting for everyone. Enjoy.

* * *

"Hey Tom!" James called across the crowded room to the barman, folding his cloak over the nearest chair and settling in to watch the comings and goings of the local and visiting witches and wizards. His chair creaked as he swung his feet up onto the rickety table and leaned back, hands behind his dark head. A moment later a young lady with long blonde hair and a pale round face appeared in front of him with his usual in hand and set it down in front of him. She stood expectantly for a beat until he dropped a handful of knuts into her small white hand, then turned and made her way back to the bar.

James was quite afraid that he had lost his touch. Not so long ago, he would have been swarmed by young women upon entering the leaky cauldron but in looking around he saw very few people who were even as young as he was, in fact, the majority of the customers were elderly and they looked around them nervously even as they sat drinking, some deep in conversation, others alone. An old man with a stubby white beard seemed to have fallen asleep at the next table, overturning his goblet so that the burgundy liquid ran across the wood and poured onto the floor. No one was paying him any attention however and so the old man slept on. James could see that even Tom was not at his usual place polishing glasses behind the counter.

The door leading to the alley swung open suddenly, letting in a gust of cold, wet air and a dark figure. He could smell the rain and he could see the darkness beyond, that entered before the door slammed closed. Several heads turned but the new arrival was only young Sirius Black, known to all. Padfoot threw back his hood and shook out his shaggy wet hair, which had grown quite a bit in the last months and crossed the room, his boots heavy on the wooden floor. He waved to the barmaid as he sat and she appeared again in the next instant with another goblet, transferring it to his hand, blushing brightly. Padfoot winked and the girl glided away, leaving James to wonder if the same would have worked for him. He grinned at his friend and let his chair fall back into place.

"So. How're things?" Padfoot asked, taking a long drink from his goblet and pulling a face.

"As well as can be expected. You certainly got here early if you already had a chance to look around."

Padfoot grinned. "I had a matter of my own to attend to."

"Ya. And her name's Priscilla Tomlin, she's eighteen years old, she works at Madam Malkins and she's far too good for you."

James jumped, sloshing half his drink down his front and turned his head to find that Moony and Wormtail had just arrived and were grinning down at their friends as if they hadn't seen each other in ages.

"So the marauders live to see another adventure" Moony said lightly, pulling out a chair and flopping down in it, already looking exhausted.

"It's not quite the same when were doing stuff on teachers orders, not to mention Moody'll be there. And Frank." Padfoot replied with a sigh. "Hows the alley?" Wormtail asked quietly, eyes on the back door. Padfoot shook his head, dark hairs tumbling over his forehead. "Subdued" he replied simply, taking another gulp of his drink.

Someone coughed behind them and they turned to find the old man that they had thought to be asleep sitting up and glaring at them with a familiar expression on his face that was unmistakable. " Constant vigilance!" the old man barked. None of them jumped as they were far too used to this Mad Eye Moody, despite the disguise that he had created, which was indeed quite well done. Moody rose from his table and crossed to stand in front of theirs, arms crossed over his chest, taking each of them in with narrowed eyes as if they hadn't known each other for years. "You are far too lacking in the security department" he told them. "But you'll have to do. The other ministry aurors are all.. occupied... as far as you lot need to be concerned and Dumbledore has assigned you four to help out. You're the muscle for the night so try not to get anyone killed" he said in a tone of voice that was overly nonchalant for the information he had just given them. "Frank will be meeting us outside shortly."

"Why so many of us?" Padfoot asked curiously, though James knew that there was nowhere else his friend would rather be than right in the thick of things.

Moody shrugged. "Just in case."

James exchanged nervous glances with his friends. He rose and followed the disguised Moody out the front door of the tavern with them behind him, not able to help himself but be slightly envious of those who had nothing more dangerous to do that night than sit in a bar and drink or go home to their families.

The dark street in front of the pub was fairly quiet apart from the muggle vehicles running up and down the road. James shivered and pulled the collar of his cloak up higher around his ears, pulling the hood up. Rain pelted down viciously on their heads which was certainly not helping them stay warm. He could see the others shaking with cold even in the dim light from the street lamps overhead. He looked around, past his three friends and the old man and down the street. There was not a person in sight and so he refocused on the old man who was really Moody.

"What are we doing then?" Wormtail asked impatiently before Moody had the chance to utter a word, rubbing his hands together and earning a glare from the auror that said quite clearly that if he had a choice, Peter wouldn't be there at all, but was really just a tag cowered under the man's gaze and James decided to intervene.

"Are we going after someone then?" he asked, though he already knew the obvious answer.

"Oh yes, Potter." Moody had a viciously excited edge to his voice that told James that whoever they were about to go after, whatever was about to happen was bound to be good.

A loud crack announced Franks arrival on scene. He looked around at James and the others and nodded solemnly. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"

****

"Expelliarmus!" Moody cried.

The door swung open, crashing against the wall and rebounding. Padfoot stepped forward and gave it a good kick to keep it open and the rest of them followed him into the room, where Evan Rosier stood against the far wall, looking nervous, his wand some five feet away. James remembered him from school and felt a fresh wave of sick hatred for the death eaters and everything that they stood for.

"So I see you've finally found me Mad Eye. Congratulations" Rosier said, regaining enough composure to mock the auror.

Moody said nothing.

"But I'm afraid I won't be able to accompany you to Azkaban tonight. You see, I have a meeting scheduled shortly."

"I'm afraid old Voldemort will have to do without you for the time being" Frank replied, taking a step forward. Rosier's eyes moved to his own wand, still on the ground, unaccessable and then to Frank who was getting closer.

"Don't be a fool, Longbottom. The dark Lord will get you. And that pretty little wife of yours!" he hissed, leaning forward threateningly.

To James it seemed as if it all happened at once though he was quite sure that it took a least a minute to play out entirely. He heard a small sound just beyond the door and turned to see what it was just as Frank lunged for Rosier's throat and James made a mental note never to threaten Alice in front of him. A jet of red light flashed over his shoulder as he was just able to leap out of it's way, sending a stunning spell back down the dark corridor, his subject still unseen. He heard a roar from behind him and spun to find that Rosier had regained his wand, which was what happened when you decided to fist fight instead of using magic but the man's spell flew wide of Frank and hit the window, shattering the glass.

"Wilkes!" Moody shouted angrily. James saw that a tall man with long dark hair and a horrible scar down one side of his face had appeared in the doorway wearing a poisonous green cloak. One clawed hand held a long wand that was directed at Moody, who was fighting him for all he was worth.

Flashes of light and cries of anger and pain filled the small room. Moony was helping Frank, the two of them attempting to restrain Rosier as he shot killing curses at them,forcing them to deflect them. Padfoot was sending his own curses at Wilkes' back and Wormtail hovered in the middle, unsure.

Moony jumped out of the way as a spell flew towards him from Rosiers wand. James leapt forward with a cry of warning and pulled Wormtail to the ground and the spell flew over their heads. and caught Moody in the face,wounding, but not disabeling him. he gave a furious roar and turned his back on Wilkes', bearing down on Rosier and leaving James to jump in next to Padfoot.

He could smell the smoke an instant before he realized that the house was on fire. Magical flames had already begun to lick at the walls and the curtains. James turned to see what he could do just as Wilkes cried 'Crucio!' and a pain unlike any that he had ever felt tore through his body and he fell to the floor, writhing and screaming in agony, every second of it so excruciating that every inch of his body longed for death. He heard a voice call his name and then another scream of pain reached his ears, though he didn't know if it was his own or someone else's.

And then the pain lifted and he found that he was able to rise to his feet and look around. He had not been the only one on the floor. Wilkes' lay a few feet away, clearly dead, and James reached out a hand and helped Padfoot to his feet from the floor, where he too had fallen under the Cruciatus curse.

"You killed your own ally Rosier. I don't think Voldemort would like that at all!" Moony was saying mockingly as James and Padfoot joined the group that was circling him slowly. Rosier glared defiantly around at them all through the haze of smoke from the fire. He had killed his own friend by mistake when he missed his target and so he was all alone, once again, against six people.

"You might as well give up now, you can't kill us all" Moody informed him, sounding mildly bored as he said it, loosening his grip on his wand.

James felt the heat on his face, sweat poured from his brow. They had to get out soon or they would all just burn up.

If Rosier had aimed the curse at one of the others he may have succeeded in at least taking someone with him but as it was he pointed his wand at Moody and the curse flew from the tip to be deflected instantly by the ever ready auror and rebounded upon it's originator. Rosier fell to the ground in a heap, dead.

"Well that certainly didn't go as planned" Frank said, nudging Rosier's corpse with his foot but Moody just shrugged. "I like it this way just fine. We'd best move out before we get torched" he said cheerfully, glancing around the room as if it was a piece of artwork that he was particularly proud of.

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The next chapter should be pretty good too. I'm leaving in two days on a three week vacation but I am taking my computer with me so it all depends on if I have any time, if I feel like writing and even if i do write, I have no idea what kind of internet service i'm gonna have. I'll do my best though. And remember to review because thats really what I'm here for, I want your input. Thanx everyone. See you all soon.


	22. Prophecy

I'm back.

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Lily had fallen asleep just before midnight on the old green couch that had been abandoned in the front hallway of headquarters in the early days of their use of the building. She had been waiting for news of James and the others and had passed out among the dusty cushions to dark dreams, full of shadows and faces of those who had died and others that had not yet fully formed into anyone at all.

She awoke with a start sometime later as the front door opened and the hall filled with the sounds of footsteps and triumphant voices calling to her and to the others in the house. Lily couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy. She longed to have been there with them, fighting beside her husband and their friends as it had always been, watching each others backs, weaseling their way out of tight scrapes with the death eaters.

With a groan she rolled over and buried herself deeper among the moth eaten pillows. She wasn't ready to wake up and face her reality, despite the horrors that waited for her in her dreams. The footsteps and voices faded past her couch, some of them greeting her as they passed even though she appeared to be sleeping, and disappeared into the kitchen where Alice and Dumbledore waited. The headmaster had told Lily that he had important news but she found that she had no desire to hear it, in fact she was dreading hearing it and she didn't even know why.

She could sense him nearby just as she always could. Something about him that had always caught her attention before she saw or heard him, even when she had hated him it had been that way, drawing her focus. At one time it had been like a car crash, drawing her to look at what she knew she didn't want to see and then later it had turned into something far more wonderful than that, a sensation that she could not even attempt to describe.

She felt a hand brush the hair from her face and soft lips pressed against her temple for a brief moment, urging her to come back to the surface, to open her eyes and maybe even offer a smile that said she was happy he was alright.

The smell of smoke and decay filled her nostrils and burned at her lungs. Reaching out blindly she curled her fingers into the front of James' shirt and drew him nearer, blinking the sleep from her eyes, his hazel eyes gazing back at her, dark and cloudy behind the round glasses.

She tore her eyes from his and gave him the once over. He kneeled on the floor beside her in tattered clothing, head to toe soot, and the sent of campfire hung around him strongly, invading her senses. His hair was covered in dust and a trickle of blood was making it's way down from his hairline.

Lily released his shirt, leaving small creases where her fingers had clung and reached up to wipe the blood off with her palm, and when she pulled her hand down a moment later he stared down at the blood curiously as if he had been completely unaware he was injured, which she wouldn't doubt and then went back to smiling at her. She noticed that he had the slightly manic look about him that he got when he needed sleep.

"So what did you burn down?" she asked casually as he nudged her to her feet, as easily as if she was asking about the weather.

"Just a house... and a couple dead guys."

"They were dead already? Or what?" she asked, knowing the answer. He shook his head. "Nope. They got dead. And then they got crisped" he said on a smile.

Lily rolled her eyes skyward, trying not to picture the charred remains of what had once been people.

The kitchen was full of delicious smells and the clatter of forks and knives as everyone dug into their meals, all conversations forgotten momentarily for the more important task of eating. Lily took one of the two empty spots beside Remus, who smiled and immediately began passing her bowls and plates heaped high with food that she had to assume had been prepared while she was sleeping by Alice who sat next to her mentor, who also reeked quite strongly of fire, his magical eye fixed steadily on his chicken as he ate it without question, knowing full well that amy food produced by his protege was not about to poison him.

Not that Lily would have been of any help. She had never been much of a cook or housekeeper of any kind, with or without magic, unlike Alice, who seemed to excel at everything, from her job as an auror at the ministry to spells that had long been forgotten by the majority of the wizarding world and everything in between, Alice Longbottom could do no wrong.

Lily was just as far along in her pregnancy but while Alice had reached the six month mark looking quite impressive, as if she was about to explode, Lily had just barely begun to show and she thought that she looked more as if she was permanently and majorly bloated than anything else. Nonetheless, she was looking forward to the end of the nine months as if it was a prison sentence. Just like Alice, she wanted to be useful to the order once again without putting her own innocent child at risk.

James took the seat on her other side, next to Sirius, who Lily noticed was also covered in soot and debris and was sporting a black eye and a split lip. He noticed her watching him and he winked at her from behind James' bent head. Lily rolled her eyes skyward as Dumbledore raised a hand and silence fell around the table, sending a shiver down her spine. She looked up and down the table.

Only those who were her closest friends and family in the order were gathered there. The marauders, Alice and Frank, Moody and Dumbledore and McGonagall who sat next to the headmaster looking more serious than ever, her mouth forming a thin line.

Lily reached out and took hold of James' hand. He offered her a reassuring look and gave her fingers a gentle squeeze, pressing his leg against hers.

****

"_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...._"

Silence followed.

Lily could taste the bile that rose in her throat and she forced it back down. She registered the looks of shock on every face at the table, each person staring either at her or Dumbledore or Alice, each person struggling to determine just what the words would mean and the impact that they would have. She was vaguely aware of James' tightened grip and that Remus' hand had formed a vice grip on the opposite wrist that had been resting on the arm of her chair.

Alice rocketed from the table and out of the room with Frank on her heels and Lily was prepared to bet that she had gone to throw up. Her gaze played over her friends faces. James' eyes had glazed over, Sirius looked furious, Peter looked slightly confused and Remus looked simply terrified as he stared back at her, unblinking.

She raised a free hand to her stomach to find that James' hands were already in place there, splayed over her belly as if to shield his child and she settled her hands over his.

She wondered vaguely if people had a limit to the amount of horrible things that could take place and still affect them. Perhaps years of seeing her friends die, her mothers death, her struggles with her own life and her future and trying to protect the muggles and the muggle borns, including herself had been too much, perhaps she had just gone past the line where she could take in anything more and so her mind had just stopped reacting. She was sitting at the table, perfectly calm as the words of the prophecy echoed in her head over and over again, possibly marking the death of her child and yet she found she could not muster any feelings of hopelessness or despair.

She glanced back up at the head of the table and her eyes locked on to Dumbledore's as he watched her sadly from across the room. His eyes held hers, the twinkle gone from behind the half moon spectacles.

* * *

So I've been thinking that this story needs a new title since it's old one kind of sucks and this story has gone way beyond what I had originally been thinking of. But all the new names that I can think of are totally stupid so far and I need some help. Any suggestions?


	23. Denial

So, for some reason the website wouldn't let me read my last few reviews at all so I have no idea what anyone said, Sorry. If you suggested a better named for the story please try again, otherwise just enjoy this next chapter.

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A Hogsmead weekend for Hogwarts meant the need for more security in the village which meant extra guard duty for the marauders. The likelihood of anything happening was low but worry was high and caution was definitely called for. James was reminded of how his mother used to tell him that it was better to be safe than sorry. It was a cliche but it was also something to think about.

James wound his way down the lane from the school and through the streets of the cozy, all wizarding village. He was once again surprised at the changes that had taken place since his own school days. Far fewer people stopped to talk on the street and the overall feeling was one of hurried commutes and anxiousness. No one smiled at him as he passed, kindness to strangers was something that had long since lapsed in a time when you couldn't even trust your oldest friend, Only a few of the older students could be seen behind large windows and the sounds of laughter that carried through the streets was often cut short as if it wasn't to be allowed. An icy chill hung in the air, fighting a losing battle against the sun that beat down through the clouds, but ensuring that the people below had their cloaks pulled tightly around themselves as they went about their business.

He followed the familiar road that wound away from the shops and beyond the neighborhoods. He could just make out the old house as he rounded a bend and made his way along the well beaten track. Years of tourists and students had tread the grass down to nothing, the ground packed down so hard that nothing would ever grow there again.

Half a dozen students lingered on the edge of the property, looking with only mild interest at the old shack that stood above them, the novelty having worn off, separated from them by a long fence that stretched wide around the shreaking shack, doing it's best to keep the curious away. He picked out his friend standing some distance from the younger people, leaning on the old fence, eyes on the house.

Moony didn't notice his approach until he stood right beside him. His eyes were glazed over and he seemed shocked to find James there, or perhaps even to find _himself_ there.

"Remembering old times?" James asked casually, pulling on the wooden beam against which they leaned. The fence creaked and swayed for a moment before settling back into place. Moony grimaced but didn't answer the question. "How's Lily?"

James shook his head, unsure. Lily had seemed surprising well since they had heard the prophecy, as if it had never happened at all. She hadn't mentioned it once and when he had attempted to bring it up with her she had brushed him off and changed the subject. " I think she might be in denial" he said honestly. " She refuses to talk about it She seems fine."

Moony raised his eyebrows. "Lucky her. I haven't been able to _stop_ thinking about it."

James could tell. His friend had dark circles under his eyes and looked as bad as James felt himself. He hadn't had a good night sleep in over a week. He couldn't sleep and when he did he had nightmares about Lily and the baby and woke up thinking they were dead. It was a horrible thing. "Me neither" he said.

"Where are Padfoot and Wormtail?" Moony asked.

"I saw them a little while ago across town. Their as well as can be expected." He shook his head again. "Why do we have to grow up like this?"

"I don't know." Moony replied softly, sadly. "It seems like just yesterday that we were getting detentions and running away from Filch. I wouldn't mind going back to that."

"Ya."

" You should try to get Lily to talk to you. She has to be feeling this. Let her know were all right here, that someday everything will be fine. We'll figure this out."

"Let's hope so."

"I wonder which death eater it was that overheard them?"

"I don't know, but if Dumbledore had told us, someone would be dead right now."

"And you wonder why he didn't?"

****

"Hi" Lily greeted him cheerfully as he came through the door. She kissed him and he followed her through the living room. As they reached the kitchen the sent of something burnt reached him. Lily pushed the door in and he caught sight of a plate of something that he thought might have been meat at some point.

"You were cooking?" he asked, amused. He picked up a fork and poked the mystery meat. Flakes of charred skin fell off as smoke continued to waft from the would be food.

Lily caught his eye. "Apparently your not the only one who can burn things." He stopped smiling.

How was Hogsmead? You guys have fun?" the tone of her voice as if he had gone to a party and left her behind.

James raised his eyebrows. "Fun? We were on duty" he told her, earning a shrug. "You okay?" he asked. He had never been particularly good at reading peoples faces or emotions but he could sense something in her and he knew it had nothing to do with a burnt meal.

She just shrugged. "Ya, I'm fine."

"Lils, we should really talk about the proph-"

" So what do you want to eat?" she asked, cutting him off, eyes on the fork that he still had in his hand.

"Dumbledore is going to fix this. We'll be safe" he said, ignoring her question and turning to face her. He reached out a hand but Lily took a step back, eyes narrowed and blazing.

"I don't want to talk about this" she said sharply.

"You can't just pretend this isn't happening! You need to-..."

"I don't _need_ to talk about this!" she declared angrily, arms crossed against her chest. Next thing he knew she would be out the door again. He took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. He had always found Lily's stubborness endearing, but now he just wanted to shake her. Another deep breath. He didn't say anything until he was sure his voice and temper had returned to normal.

"But maybe I do. Maybe I need someone to talk to about this. I'm killing myself here, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think about anything else. God Lily, I need you!"

He hadn't realized what he was thinking until it came out and hung between them, and he felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders.

Lily's eyes went wide, full of concern, and it was her turn to reach out for him. He closed his eyes as he felt her small warm hand against his chest, the other cupping his face. He folded his arms around her and felt her give in, leaning into him.

"I'm sorry about everything" she said, her voice muffled against his collarbone where she had buried her face. James opened his eyes and looked down at the soft red hair.

"Ya. Me too."


	24. Deja vu

So I'm not editing this chapter at all cause I've just taken my contacts off and I'm having enough trouble just writing this part without my eyes going wonky. but I wanted to put the chapter up tonight anyway, hopefully it's fine, otherwise I'll fine tune it later on. Either way, enjoy.

* * *

Lily went downstairs the next morning to find Sirius in the living room playing air drums and mouthing the words to the song that was broadcasting over the old wireless James' mother had given them Of course, being Sirius, he wasn't at all embarrassed to get caught. His energy was infectious and for several long minutes she found that she was able to put everything else from her mind as she joined him on base. It wasn't until James appeared in the doorway in nothing but boxers, looking all together edible with his mussed hair and dark eyes, and very confused at the loud music and laughter issuing from the room that they collapsed on the couch in a heap and the music went down. Sirius took a moment to catch his breath and then he leapt back to his feet, his meter at full again.

James seemed to decide that he didn't want to know what they had been doing and waited to hear what Sirius was there for instead, leaning comfortably against the door frame, arms crossed.

"So how would you like a job for the day Prongs?" Sirius asked in a low voice, making the offer sound mysterious and tempting. "Dedalus was supposed to be working with us but he was needed elsewhere, but I knew you had nothing better to do."

Lily couldn't help but register the look of longing on her husbands face before he caught her eye and his expression went neutral. "I can't leave Lily here alone."

This seemed to be the flaw in the plan. No matter what she said, she knew that he wouldn't leave her there alone, it wasn't about what she might do either, it was about the prophecy.

"She could go to headquarters or something" Sirius was suggesting.

Lily stood and crossed to look out the window and down the road to the outskirts of town, to where she had nearly lost her life to one of her best friends and then in the other direction.

"I could go spend a few hours with your mom" she said. She would have loved to have some time on her own but she knew it wouldn't happen, she hadn't had more than an hour to herself since the day that she had taken off. Every time James went out he had someone come over to visit with her or else she would spend the night at headquarters. There was no point arguing, he wasn't doing it to suffocate her, he was doing it to protect her and as annoying as it was she couldn't help appreciate how important it was to him.

The look of anticipation had returned to his face as Sirius gave him the details of the so called job. She half listened as he described tailing and possibly capturing someone who's name she hadn't caught. Sirius, Lupin, Frank, and James.

"You go first" James demanded protectively as she stepped out into the yard behind them. She embraced Sirius and then James for longer. "Be careful, keep each other safe" she demanded, eyeing them both. Then with a crack she was gone, squeezing through and apparating in the road in front of James' mother's house.

****

Lily leaned back in the comfortable old couch, her hands gently turning the pages of the old photo album, James' mother watching her fondly as she gazed down at the photos of the dark haired little boy. A young James moved about in every small frame, waving up at her with his familiar, confident smile. James as an infant as he learned to crawl and then walk, learning to ride his first broomstick, learning to play Quidditch, the marauders at a young age, no more than eleven or twelve, a quidditch match, a christmas party. Lily took her time looking at each photo and wondering about her own child. Would her own baby have the same dark, messy hair as this one, would her child play Quidditch, have it's father's sense of humor, be a good student?

"Tea?"

She looked up to find the Potter's house elf, Azul, standing before her, offering a steaming mug that smelled of lemon and herbs. "Thank you" she said. The elf nodded, bowed and left the room.

"How long has she been with you?" she asked Mrs. Potter conversationally, sipping at the hot drink.

"Oh forever. And her mother before her. But Azul was here to help me when James was born and his father before him. She's a lovely old thing. She could help you too you know." The older woman added kindly, leaning forward and patting her daughter in law on the knew. Lily didn't know if it was a muggle thing but she knew it would be too strange for her to have a house elf, to sit back and watch another creature work. And she certainly wasn't planning on having her child at home.

"I think I'll be giving birth at St. Mungo's. Thank you though."

Mrs. Potter shrugged and offered a polite smile.

Lily couldn't help but like her and she was glad that she would have someone around to help her with the baby if she needed it, someone with experience of raising a child.

She turned another page of the album. The teenage James suddenly morphed into a handsome young man in dress robes on his wedding day. He stood with Lily and Sirius, he danced, he drank, he laughed with his guests. No indication of the eventful night before them.

The last photo was more recent. James stood behind her with his arms around her. They were both visibly happy, laughing at something that she couldn't recall. The photo made her smile wistfully. Then she felt a stab of fear in her gut but it was gone as soon as it came and she couldn't even be sure that she had felt it at all.

It was almost another hour before the sound of two people apparating in the lane brought them to their feet. Lily followed her mother in law to the door, eager to see James and Sirius again, to assure herself that they had done their job successfully, that they were alright. Darkness had long since settled and she could barely make out the two figures as she watched them through the gate as they approached. She stood back to let them enter and it wasn't until they had stepped through the door and lowered their hoods, their faces illuminated by a single lamp that she saw that it wasn't James and Sirius at all.

The door closed behind Frank and Remus and they made their way into the kitchen where there was more room to maneuver and talk comfortably. The two men were serious and quiet, moving through the house as if in mourning, their footsteps silent on the wood floors. With more light Lilycould make out the long, horrid scar that decorated Remus' face and dripped blood onto his collar and the patch of missing hair on the back of Frank's head that seemed to have been scorched off. The memory of her brief anxiety came back to her, mounting, choking her, She reached out and clutched Remus' arm. His soft sympathetic eyed meeting hers, her gaze demanding the truth.

"Where is James?" her voice shook as she spoke the three words that could change everything, end everything. Mrs. Potter gasped, catching on.

Frank was quick to jump in, reassuring. "He's hurt again. But he's fine." It sounded like a contradiction to her.

It was Remus who continued. " He's at St. Mungo's, he and Sirius were both injured, but neither is critical." she clutched his arm tighter. "I swear" he said with a grimace.

"What. Happened?"

"We were following this death eater and he seemed to realize he had a tail. But he didn't even know who we were or how many of us were there so he just started shooting curses over his shoulder randomly. It took us by surprise, he hit James and Sirius before we even had a chance to react. Then he disapparated and we lost him." Frank explained, apologetic. He reached out and helped James' mother to sit down. Azul came forward with another cup of tea for her mistress.

"Why is it always him?" Lily said in a low voice to Remus.

"I don't know. I'm sorry, but he's gonna be okay. "

Lily threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest, inhaling his comforting sent. She needed a minute to recover herself, to take a deep breath and renew her resolve, to convince herself once again that she was capable of getting through it. Remus held her, stroking her back and her hair, saying nothing until she raised her head and pulled away,

"Ready?"

She had never liked hospitals, muggle or magical and she had no particular reason for it as she had had very little experience with them. No one she knew to have died had ever been lucky enough to get to a hospital first but she found that they still reminded her of death, the sent of sickness and chemicals and disinfectant invading, over powering all else. And so much white.

The waiting room was full of people with magical cases that might have fascinated her on any other occasion. She didn't pay attention to what floor they were aiming for, she stood in the lift staring down at the swell of her body that kept James' child. How could this have happened again? Frank squeezed her shoulder gently.

She stuck close to the others along the corridor until Alice came into view at the end, already there, She offered words of comfort that Lily didn't hear and then she was pushing open the next door., she was entering the room alone, the others giving her time.

The room was gloomy and rather unpleasant though that might have only been her opinion of the place. It was not a particularly large room with two beds lined up against one wall and two more against the other. The two nearest the door were empty, all clean white sheets and fluffed pillows. The other two were occupied, the blankets rising and falling with their breathing. Sirius was fast asleep, or perhaps unconscious in one of the beds, his face white, looking altogether peaceful and James was in the other, in relatively the same condition, but his lips wereblue and one of his eyes was swollen and bruised purple. She gave her friend one long look and then crossed to James, ignoring the char that had been placed beside him and taking a seat on the covers instead. She ran one hand over her husbands soft silky face and bare shoulders and through his dark hair. He would be alright, they would both be. She stifled the annoyance she felt at how inconsiderate it was, how foolish it was that they had gotten themselves injured, that James had done this to her once again. He did everything to ensure her safety and then he nearly got himself killed. She played a finger over his lips.

"What's the world come too when I have no one hanging over my bed, checking to see if I'm alright?"

Lily jumped and looked around. Sirius was up on his elbows, gazing at her with a grim smile even as he joked.

"How do you feel?" she asked, concerned.

"Oh, I'm fine. I wasn't hit as bad as he was anyway. The healer was in before you showed up. Apparently Prongs had a couple broken ribs. One os them punctured a lung or something" he said, screwing up his face as he tried to remember. "He's just passed out now." He said it so casually that she couldn't help but believe him. Of course he was right. Dark magic couldn't be fixed, James still had the scar on his body from their honeymoon, but a few broken ribs and a punctured lung were no problem. Conditions that were emergencies to muggles could be reversed within seconds by an experienced healer.

"What about you?"

"Nothing too exciting. A few messed up limbs. I'll have some decent scars."

"You should lie down."

Sirius smiled and lowered himself from his elbows,sinking into the soft pillows. His soft snores broke the silence a moment later.

She didn't hear the door open or the footsteps on the tiles, but she didn't jump at the hand on her shoulder either. She turned and looked up into Dumbledore's sad eyes. They swept over her, over James and onto Sirius before returning.

"You came."

"I owe them that much." His voice was as sad as his eyes. he blamed himself. Did he blame himself for the deaths and disappearances too?"

"It's not your fault."

Dumbledore gave a small smile and a shake of his head. "You are exceedingly kind, especially after all that you have been through in the past months."

"We have to fight. Think of the alternative."

"I tell myself that also, and then I see this. I see people dying, suffering. Families are torn apart. I should have done something." She had never seen him looking so old and helpless. It was unnerving to see him as the old man instead of the great wizard.

" You are only one man Dumbledore. We sacrifice to save, so that someday the suffering will end."

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Don't forget to review, I welcome any input you have. Cheers.


	25. Off white

Don't forget that I'm still looking for a better name for this story so think about it while your reading this next chapter.

* * *

"Oh shit!"

"You can say that again."

James opened his eyes to the dark room, the white beds, and his friend. In fact, everything seemed to be white, so different from the comfort and warmth of the familiar hospital wing at Hogwarts. He had spent a great deal of time there in his seven years of school.

He was stiff and sore, his heartbeat pounding in his head, creating a killer migraine. The last thing he could remember was leaving Lily to go on a job with his friends.

"Oh shit!"

Padfoot laughed from across the room, filling the pressing silence. "It's a figure of speech."

"What the hell happened?"

He didn't want to move. He didn't want to feel the effects of a battle he could barely recall, it just wasn't worth it.

"Oh, you were just mangled beyond recognition, but you're all better now" Padfoot told him casually, sounding as if he was enjoying himself. He glanced across the room and saw his friend digging into a child sized cup of pudding. "They tried to fix your face too, but unfortunately there was nothing they could do about it." He laughed. "They figured since you'd got along like that for so long, they didn't need to try too hard." He held up the pudding cup. Chocolate. "There's this hot nurse, keeps bringing me this stuff, I thing she likes me, if you know what I mean."

James ignored him.

"Does Lily know?"

Padfoot's smile disappeared. "Yup. It was frightening. She's gonna kill you, I swear" he said, shuddering and glancing around as if he expected Lily to appear out of thin air which wasn't an impossibility.

He had a moment to consider this before the door swung in. Light flooded into the dark room and by the time the door had closed and he had opened his eyes again, dreaming of a cure for his headache or at least a stiff drink, Lily was standing over him, her expression surprisingly blank as she looked him over, not making eye contact.

"I'm awake" he said, trying for some enthusiasm, but she didn't cave and she didn't smile. Padfoot was right, he was in trouble.

"So I see" was her reply. She glanced at the other occupied bed but their friend was thoughtfully feigning sleep.

"Do you remember what happened?" she asked, sinking down onto the edge of the bed. He was sure that she had heard the story more than once from Frank, Moony and Padfoot but she would hear it again, from him. He owed her.

"I remember leaving you..." he tried vaguely.

"And so do I." She wasn't amused.

"But after that, it's fuzzy." No response.

Pain shot through his upper body, making him flinch. He was always the one who got hurt. He still had the scar from the last time.

Ice cold hands pressed against his bare chest, raising goosebumps. Lily wanted to help him but she didn't know how, he could see something in her eyes that was close to helplessness, as if she had forgotten what being in control of her life was like.

"How bad is it?" he asked her.

"Your fine. Ribs and a lung, nothing permanent." Her words were clipped and frustrated, not covering the extent of what she was thinking and feeling, her eyes betraying her.

James couldn't raise his head for the pain but he reached up and stroked her arm, running his hands through her long hair that had fallen forward over her shoulder. There was nothing he liked doing more. He had once had a dream about her silky red hair, back when he hadn't been allowed within ten feet of her, a dream that she would never hear about.

"I'm sorry."

She gave no answer and he took it to mean that he was not forgiven. He couldn't smile and make her forget, he couldn't kiss her and make her give in, it was too big. Time was all that could make it better, erase the memory of the shock, the panic and of course the pain.

"Remus and Frank came. I thought... I thought..."

Her teeth worried her lower lip, her eyes over bright. Her nails dug into his arm, portraying what she must have felt. She took a deep steadying breath as he continued to rub her arm, her own chill fading. He knew exactly what she had thought. He had experienced the same more than once.

"I can't do this on my own James" she told him firmly. She had had time to think about it, likely time when he had been unconscious. He waited.

"I could never raise a child on my own." Her hand moved to her own body. "Especially this one."

She was referring to the prophecy. What challenges would they face with their child that regular parents wouldn't? She was watching him, waiting for a response, hoping for some reassurance. Once again, he had none to give.

His hand pressed against the warm spot at the back of her neck. She bent forward and let him kiss her but he could taste the reluctance on her lips, disappointment, mingled with an ever present fear.

"I'm too young for this bullshit" she announced as she pulled away, making him laugh. She joined in, but he could hear a new bitterness to the sound.

"The others are waiting to see you, I should let them in or they'll think you've died."

She unfolded herself from the bed, pulling away from him. He caught her hand as she did and his eyes held hers.

"I love you, Lils."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, not eager for more corny moments."I love you too."

"Ya?"

"I keep coming back don't I?"

"Sometimes you wish you didn't?"

She stopped resisting, reaching down to touch his face. He let his eyes close.

"Never"

She moved away, her footsteps echoing on the unfriendly tile.

"I know your awake Sirius!" she called as she left the room. "You suck at faking."

When he opened his eyes again she was gone and Padfoot was watching him again, looking slightly awed.

"What?" he demanded under his friends gaze.

"I don't know how you do it, I really don't. She wasn't even mad at you or anything by the end. Your a god, seriously."

James laughed and folded his hands behind his head with a grimace as his body stretched. He stared up at the white ceiling. There were no windows in the room.

"You know, I've never really liked hospitals."

****

"I thought someone would throw me a welcome home party or something now we've gotten our own place" he said, pretending offence. Moony laughed, dropped James' bag and clapped him on the shoulder, ignoring his grimace of pain. "I don't think anyone actually noticed you were in hospital, sorry to say" his friend told him.

The place was spotless without him there and he had to wonder if that was how it would have looked if Lily had married Moony, who had been sleeping on the couch to keep her company so that she wouldn't have to stay with James' mother or at headquarters. He had to admit that they might have made a better couple because of various personal qualities that they shared. It was a shame really. He smirked across the room at his friend who raised an eyebrow and returned to his study of the books on the shelf.

James scolded himself for being such a horrible person.

"Earth to James" Lily called from the doorway, causing them both to look around.

"What?" he asked.

"Are you okay?"

"Don't I look okay?"

Lily pulled a face. "You look kinda constipated. You need something?"

Moony coughed behind him. He knew him well enough to hear the concealed laughter beneath.

He was saved from forming a reply by the sound of the door opening, voices floating into the living room. Alice and Frank appeared, followed by Padfoot and Wormtail, Mad Eye, his mother and Padfoot's cousin Andromeda who was watching her nephew with mingled pride and worry, the way Padfoot's mother might have done if she had been half human.

Alice danced forward and hugged him, her bulging belly pressing into his hip. "You're alright!" she cried, bubbily and excited. He guessed that there wasn't much excitement to her life when she was forced to sit on the couch all day, waiting for her husband to come home, not when she had become so accustomed to her job, chasing down and battling death eaters and various other criminals. That kind of lifestyle was hard to beat excitement wise.

James stuck his tongue out at his friend over Alice's shoulder. "You see, people noticed" he told him in a smug voice. Moony laughed and stepped forward to shake Mad Eye's hand. Andromeda was exclaiming over Lily's bump and he could see his mother fussing over Padfoot, her adopted son while Wormtail stood close by, watching and listening.

How much longer would these people have to live? Would one of those closest to him be next to die?

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Review. That is all that ask. Except for the name thing, so do that too. Love y'all.


	26. The seventh month dies

She opened her eyes to the dark room and the flickering, warming blue fire. James' lap had been replaced by a pillow beneath her head and she could see Remus spread out on the ground in front of the fire with a large novel open on the floor. The kitchen door swung open and Sirius came through, examining a chicken leg that he held in his hand.

"You sure sleep a lot" he told her, seeing she was awake. He tore a chunk off the meat with his sharp teeth, looking more like the dog than the human.

"_You_ try having to sit around your stupid house all day when you can't go out or do anything" she retorted. She slid to the ground and stretched out on her back next to Remus who didn't even glance up.

"Never happen" he replied with a grin. "I'd burn the place down."

"Where's James?" she asked him.

"He hasn't been to an order meeting since he was wounded. We offered to keep you company."

Lily laughed. "You mean you offered to babysit because he thinks I can't take care of myself for more than five minutes and I might disappear or something."

"You don't have the best track record." he shrugged.

"Or maybe" Remus said with a resigned sigh, marking his place in the book and closing it regretfully. "He thinks that someone should be with you as your already more than nine months pregnant and could have the kid at any moment." He smiled vaguely.

She shook her head.

"Not to mention that for all we know the death eaters are trying to find and kill you" he added matter of factly, glancing longingly at his book.

"Oh ya" Sirius cut in. "I was supposed to tell you that Alice had her kid last night. It was a boy. They named him Neville, and don't ask me why. Horrid name, Neville Longbottom..." But she was no longer listening.

Lily felt the blood drain from her face. She didn't know whether to be happy about the news or sad for her friends. Remus caught her expression.

"Ya, There's a pretty good chance that the prophecy is talking about their kid." He glanced at his watch. "Unless you have yours in the next twenty four hours or so." His own expression was worried as he considered the idea.

"Poor Alice and Frank."

His face clouded. "Ya."

"I think I'll go to bed now" she told them, wanting to be alone. Sirius jumped to his feet and hauled her to her's.

"Are you sure your alright?"

She offered them both a forced smile and a brave nod. "Ya, just tired."

"We'll be here."

****

She didn't know what woke her. Lily opened her eyes once again and reached out instinctively, her hand falling through the air and clutching at empty sheets and pillow. She dragged herself from the bed to the window where the sun was just rising over the horizon and then to the washroom where she washed quickly and pulled on one of James' shirts and a pair of boxers, the clothing fitting comfortably over her swollen frame.

Her reflection in the mirror showed her chubby cheeks, with the old scar above her eyebrow and dark rings under her eyes despite how much sleep she had been getting. Maybe it was the worry that did it.

Alice and Frank. How would they be feeling? Mixed between their love for their newborn son and the horrors that his future would hold? Or had they put it from their minds for sanity's sake?

She left the bathroom and reentered the bedroom, stumbling slightly, tripping over her own feet and bashing her knee against the frame of the bed. She cried out, but not due to the pain in her leg. It was something much higher that did it, the contraction rocking her body. Had her water burst when she had been in the bath? she wondered. Or had an earlier contraction been what had awoken her?

But other questions were far worse. What did it mean? Would her baby be born as the seventh month died? Would her child have to kill or be killed?

She stumbled into the hallway and towards the stairs, dazed and disoriented.

"James!" she called as she reached the top step and sunk down onto it, but there was no answer. "James!"

She buried her head between her knees, her hands over her face. It couldn't be happening. She had read everything she could get her hands on and yet she was still unprepared. Her husband wasn't there, it seemed that no one was there at all, and it was all happening too fast. Was magic a factor that she hadn't considered? She remembered what Sirius had said. 'We'll be here.' Right.

"Remus? Sirius?"

Damn it. The second contraction came much quicker than the first, and unexpected. It was definitely happening faster than it should have been, at least for a muggle birth, but it was ridiculous to think that it would be any different. She braced her back against the wall and bit into her lower lip, tasting blood.

"This is stupid" she said out loud to herself as the pain receded once again. Gritting her teeth she reached up, took hold of the railing and dragged herself to a standing position, taking a minute to get her bearings.

The door opened below, flooding the hall with light and Lily with relief.

"James?"

Two figures froze on the threshold, looking up at her. Remus and Sirius.

"Lily?Are you alright?"

Her body answered the question for her. Bending at the waist she resisted the urge to vomit. Sweat beaded her face and body.

Footsteps sounded on the stairs below her and hands took hold of her, comforting her, pulling her back so she wouldn't fall. She had a hold of Sirius' hand and she knew by the intake of breath that she wasn't being gentle. Remus' face swam in front of her.

"Where's James?"

His apologetic look told her that her husband was still away. "We have to get you to the hospital."

She shook her head. "It's too early. We have time." She was begging, desperate for more time, another hour, preferably another day.

"I'm sorry Lily." Remus ran a hand through his hair, reminding her of James. "It's different than it is for muggles. Faster. But I promise that James will be there."

She closed her eyes, her head pounding.

"It's still the seventh month."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Her friends voices were hushed as they discussed a plan of action but she couldn't focus and so let the words flow over her. It wasn't until she felt hands gripping her shoulders that she opened her eyes again.

"Were gonna apparate. I'll help you. Hold my arm" Remus told her.

"What about-"

"Sirius is going to go get him."

He didn't flinch as she took hold of his arm in a death grip. She heard the crack just as the pain shot through her body one more time. And then she was once again looking through the glass window at the ugly mannequin on display in the store window.


	27. Harry Potter

I decided to write this chapter even though I didn't get a single review for the last one which is just plain mean, people! If I didn't want any input I would have read the story to my cat, jeez! Let's hope you don't all fail in the review department this time around.

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"It's unacceptable" Moody was saying from across the table, hands balled into fists, face twisted. Peter jumped, spilling butterbeer down his front.

"I don't see what other options we had" James jumped in, leaning forward. "We needed someone on the inside...we need to know what Voldemort is thinking... especially now."

All eyes turned to look at Frank Longbottom, slouched low a rickety chair, eyes bruised, a day old beard covering his still young face. The life of his son hung on the order's ability to stay one step ahead of the death eaters.

"All we could find of him were pieces."

Dumbledore was the only one who had remained calm, his expression thoughtful as he took in the others, listened to their arguments and reflected on yet another loss for the order of the phoenix. When the voices had risen to a level at which words were indistinguishable from one another, the headmaster raised his hand and the room fell silent. The old man's eyes did not sparkle but were flat and dark even as he spoke.

"Mr. Fenwick's loss is indeed most regrettable. He was a great man and a loyal wizard. But James is right Alastor, as I'm sure Mr. Fenwick would have agreed if he could have been here today. He knew exactly what he was doing and what the consequences would likely be. He gave up his life for the order and for that I honor him." Dumbledore raised his glass and the other's followed suit, murmurs running from one person to the next.

"And what comfort will Benjy's loyal sacrifice be to his family, I wonder?" he heard Emmeline Vance mutter to her neighbor. James flinched at the hostility and loss in his friends voice. He pictured the man as he had last seen him, leaning over Sirius' shoulder with a smile on his face. It had taken everything for him to get on the inside. And then he had been found in pieces. What had gone wrong?

"Frank?"

James looked down at Frank's brave face. How could an infant come into the world with so much worry and fear? What was awaiting little Neville Longbottom?

"I'm sorry."

His friend nodded and James knew exactly how he felt. He knew that it could just as easily have been Lily.

Several people jumped as they heard the front door of the house crash open, a few even pulling their wands out from beneath their robes and jumpers, exchanging uneasy glances. Footsteps pounded down the hall and James knew just who it would be a moment before his friends appeared, red in the face and panting. Cries of shock and greeting were cut short as Sirius loomed ominously in the doorway, one hand clutching the frame, the other his side. James felt the panic threatening to overwhelm him. Sirius had been with Lily, which left very few possibilities.

"James!" Sirius said, finally catching his breath. "It's Lily!"

It was more than enough for every person in the room to understand. Hesitant congratulations rose as people checked their watches, wondered aloud about the date and muttered about the complications of this latest development.

"Who will be the chosen one?"

James felt his breath catch in his throat, choking him, somewhere between anger and excitement. His eyes met Dumbledore's and the older man's face reflected his own feelings and concerns. Frank was looking almost hopeful, sitting straight in his chair for the first time in hours, and James couldn't blame him. He would give anything to ensure that it was not his own child who was doomed to the words of the prophecy. Sirius was gesturing for him to hurry up and he felt hands pushing at his back, McGonagall urging him into action, doing her best to look happy for him.

He heard her before he saw her. He was a fool, spending so much energy and time on keeping Lily safe only to be the one to cause her so much pain. Every breath that she took tore through him like a knife as he found her hand with his.

"I'm here."

Her green eyes were unfocused. Sweat beaded her fair skin, her pale cheeks had turned red as she clutched so tightly to his hand and Moony's, who looked as if he would like nothing better than to walk away but James knew that he would never do it.

Her breathing eased momentarily and he reached out, brushing a thick wad of red hair out of Lily's face. Her eyes were closed and her head back.

"It's too early."

He could hear the fear in her voice but he couldn't give in to it. He couldn't admit that he himself was just barely dangling on the edge. He drew steadying breaths. Everything would be alright. They were alive, Moony and Padfoot hovered uncertainly nearby, sharing their anxiety, Wormtail was waiting in the hall. He pressed his lips to her forehead.

"No. Lily. It's not. This is how it has to be."

Her eyes opened, taking longer than normal to find him, glazed over.

"July is about to end." Her voice broke.

"I know."

"I don't want this!"

He leaned close to her again, so close that he could feel the heat that radiated from her, taste the pain that she was experiencing.

"Your about to have a baby Lils, our baby, the most beautiful baby in the world." He paused, choosing his words carefully. "And he might be the chosen one, and maybe, just might do what we have been trying to do all along. It might be our child who will someday take on Voldemort and put an end to all the death and destruction."

He didn't know if it was the right thing to say, and he had no idea what it would mean for him, and for Lily, but it was the truth.

****

"So what do you think?" She was nervous, exhausted and expectant. James leaned over and kissed her. The bundle in her arms squirmed restlessly as they all gazed down at it in awe. Moony sat on the end of the bed, with a look on his face as if the baby might bite him. Wormtail stood a ways apart as if he had never seen a baby before. James felt Padfoot's hand on his shoulder as his friend leaned in for a closer look.

"Holy crap! It's miny James" he exclaimed, breaking the tense atmosphere, leaning in to embrace the new mother, father and child. His excitement was infectious. Lily's eyes were hopeful as James watched her with their child.

"What should we name him?" he asked her, knowing she wouldn't bring it up herself.

"I... I like... Harry. What do you-?"

"I love it"

Sirius was grinning from ear to ear, his new status as godfather lighting his handsome face. "Harry Potter!" he cried out, lifting his arms in a cheer.

The door opened and a pretty dark head appeared with a bright smile on her soft lips.

"Alice!"

Her own child was nustled against her chest, a drizzle of dark hair visible above the blankets.

"There's a whole lot of people here to see you" she told them, "but the nurse says that were not all allowed in at once." The young woman rolled her eyes as if the rules were beneath her and ducked from the room to wait.

The smile faded from Lily's pretty face as their friends followed Alice from the room to make space for other visitors, taking the joy with them. They both gazed down at Harry, trying to picture his future, and their own.

"What if-? Lily began to ask, her eyes pleading, but she broke off, unable to continue.

James brushed a hand lightly over his son's sleeping face. He had a son. "It doesn't matter right now Lily. It just doesn't."

Her vague smile was a familiar one, the same look that she had often given him at school, when she had believed him to be ignorant, but she didn't contradict him.

"I never knew it was possible to love this much" she told him, eyes on Harry.

James grinned, taking in the familiar set of her chin and curve of her neck, her flowing red hair and the color in her cheeks. "I did" he replied simply.

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This was not my favorite chapter, I much prefer the battle scenes and I thought this one was pretty cheesy, I just didn't know how it could any other way so I went with it. Looking forward to reading your reviews. Hint! Hint!


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